ⅩⅬ

                                    

                                          
When I saw Oikawa and this guy again, I couldn't hold back my frustration and sadness anymore. They were holding hands, laughing, kissing from time to time and just being happy together. They did what Oikawa and I used to do. Barley two weeks passed since then. How could he move on that fast? The answer was easy, he didn't love me in the first place. He probably only dated me because of my origin. I hated him so much. 
                          
Yet, I loved him even more. I would always do and I knew that he deserved to be happy even if it was with this jerk. Yet, I couldn't believe that he moved on that fast. Did our friendship and everything else didn't mean anything to him? Did he really forget about all of this that fast? I couldn't believe it. It couldn't be true. You couldn't forget your childhood best friend from one day to the other. It took weeks, months probably even years. And yet here he was, acting as if nothing happened and playing all lovey-dovey with that jerk. 
                          
It hurt so much. Couldn't he have waited a little longer? Maybe a week, some months, a year? Enough time for me to get over him or at least accept the fact that he wasn't mine and would never be again. 
                          
Until now I didn't do anything but when I saw them basically making out in front of me, I couldn't but snap. "Why are you doing this to me?" I exclaimed angrily. Oikawa turned around, his face filled with guilt and regret. "Iwa-izumi, please let me explain, I-," Oikawa said but I cut him off, "what? Explain to me why on Naoethea you broke my heart again. It's the third time now when I remember correctly". 
                          
I could see Oikawa hurting. I knew that he didn't want to hurt him and I also knew that he didn't intend to break my heart. But I needed to let out my anger, sadness and all those other crumbled emotions he left me with. I could see the pain on his face clearer than ever before and at this moment I also realized that he hadn't moved on as I expected. He had just put on a facade. A facade to hide his true feelings. He always was scared of being hurt and would never show his vulnerable side. That was also the reason why I kept hoping, why I still hoped that he would return my feelings. 
                          
"Because I love you! Is that what you want to hear? That you are the most important person in my life and that I hurt you to protect myself from getting hurt which just backfired? That I don't deserve you and never will? That I love you in every way possible? That I love you romantically? Is that what you wanted to hear because now you did. I won't ever deserve you so I left you. I-", Oikawa said as I cut him off. I kissed him passionately and he returned it after a while. 
                          
When we let go, gasping for air he looked at me reproachfully. What did I do now? He loved me, I loved him so where was the problem? I was tired of all this back and forth. "Oikawa Tōru, would you like to go out with me?" I asked. He looked happy but confused. "I literally broke your heart three times and you still want to go out with me?" he said. "Better not make it four times", I stated. 
                          
"Gosh Iwa, you're going to kill me one day," Oikawa exclaimed. "No more 'chan'?" I asked, chuckling. "No. I only did it to mock you anyway," Oikawa replied, grabbing my hand. "Well, I liked it," I stated, kissing his knuckles. "Sweet. Just like you. I can't believe I have you as a boyfriend. What did I ever do to deserve you?" Oikawa asked. Before I could tell him how amazing he was, he kissed me. I automatically leaned in. I wanted to stay like this forever. I just needed to find a way to tell Makki.