ⅩⅩⅩⅨ

                                    

                                          
Shortly after that incident at the chestnut, Oikawa and this guy started dating. I broke my heart. Or did it just make everything worse? I didn't know. They were now dating for about a week and they were really close. They spend all their time together and even Mattsun got bored at some point and left them to spend time with us. Makki was happy because his boyfriend returned to the good side, how he said it but I was a little bit sad. I had hoped that Mattsun would still spend time with Oikawa. Oikawa deserved a friend and I didn't want the fact that he didn't love me to ruin all his other friendships. It was not his fault that he didn't like me. Love wasn't something you could influence. 
                          
Another problem with Mattsun spending time with us was that I now third-wheeled all the time. I felt lonely and Oikawa being with this douche-bag all the time definitely didn't make me feel better. As they both kissed in the shadow of the chestnut just like Oikawa and I did just as we started dating, I started crying. First, it was only the tears running down my cheeks silently, but then I started sobbing really hard until Makki finally noticed. 
                          
He immediately hugged and comforted me until I was no longer crying. It took about ten minutes but after that, I was doing slightly better. It was good letting everything out. 
                          
"He doesn't deserve you crying over him," Makki said. Mattsun just stayed silent. I knew that he wanted to defend Oikawa but I also knew that he wouldn't because of me and also Makki. Makki kept telling me how I should finally forget Oikawa and try to get over him but I didn't even listen. Right now, Oikawa and this guy were acting all lovey-dovey and blowing kisses even though they were right next to each other and I couldn't help but stare and clench my fist. 
                          
"Ew, not in front of my salad," Makki commented as he caught me staring. I chuckled slightly. Makki always knew a way to ease the tension. "But for real, Iwa, you deserve better. He did nothing but break your heart. It's time to move on. It's what he would have wanted," Makki said. "I know but I won't. I can't love anyone else nor pretend to," I replied. "Oikawa could so you can as well," Makki stated, bitterness radiating from his voice. "How often are we going to go over this again. It's not his fault. Yes, he did mistakes but I knew what I did when I agreed to date him even though I knew that he wouldn't love me back," I responded. 
                          
"He wanted you to hate him so you'd forget about him. He surely wouldn't want you to forgive him for the mistakes he did," Mattsun mumbled under his breath. I knew that he didn't want me to hear it but I did. And sadly it gave me hope. If he wanted me to hate him, it was probably because he still cared about me. Maybe we could go back to friends one day.