28. Peace

                                    

                                          
Maddie's POV 
Elias and I are standing in his kitchen, both dressed in oversized hoodies and sweatpants, baking. 
It's cold and storming outside and raindrops are running down the outside of the windows, so Elias spontaneously decided to light a fire in the fireplace after we had breakfast. 
"No! Don't eat the batter, you'll get sick," I say with a chuckle, taking the bowl of batter and spatula from Elias. 
He pouts playfully and says, "But that's the best part about baking..."
I roll my eyes and boop his nose. "Maybe...but what good is it if you get sick?"
He hops onto the kitchen counter and swings his legs around like a little kid. "What's life without a little risk?"
I shake my head in disapproval and grab a new spatula, disposing of the one Elias had in his mouth in the sink. 
"You know," I say a minute later, feeling Elias eyes on me. "You could actually help instead of just watching me."
He smiles sheepishly at the fact that he was caught staring and slips of the counter. "Alright. But I've said it before and I'll say it again: I'm a horrible cook, so in case anything goes wrong, I'm not the one to blame." 
I laugh and hand him a cake pan so he can grease it. "Oh, please. It's not like we're preparing a three star Michelin meal."
Elias snorts and once he's done greasing the pan, I scoop the batter into it, not trusting him to do it without eating batter again. 
The whole morning has been like this; the two of us in the kitchen, having a playful conversation, sharing a quick kiss here and there.
However, even though I'm feeling the best I have in a while now, there's this air of awkwardness around us because we both don't dare to mention what I read in Elias' diary last night.
It weighs on me heavier than I'd like to admit and every time I look at him I'm reminded of what was done to him. 
His eyes sparkle when he looks at me and he grins a lot, which is something I've never seen him do before, but every time he thinks no one's watching him, he vacantly stares at something. Also, last night I woke up multiple times to find him twitching and frowning in his sleep.
"Elias?" I say quietly, pushing the baking pan into the preheated oven. 
Instead of answering, Elias wraps his arms around me from behind, looking into the oven over my shoulder. 
"Hmm?"
I start playing with his hands on my stomach and look down. "About yesterday..." I say. 
"What about yesterday?" Elias asks. He sounds calm, but I don't miss how he tensed up when I started speaking. 
I take a deep breath and turn around in his embrace. "I didn't mean to invade your privacy," I say, pushing a fly away hair out of his face. "And I know you don't want to talk about what happened and I'm totally okay with that, but I just-"
I stop and look at his eyes for a reaction to what I'm saying. He looks troubled, but doesn't say anything, politely waiting for me to go on.
"I just- I want you to know that I care about you. A lot. I have for a while now actually, but that's not the point. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want you to know that whenever you feel the need to talk about what happened, or anything really, you can always come to me. Okay?"
Elias blinks a couple of times in an attempt to get rid of the tears in his eyes and nods. 
"Good," I whisper, smiling through my own tears and taking his face into my hands.