𝐵𝑖𝑟𝑡ℎ𝑑𝑎𝑦

                                    

                                          

                            

                                
                            
                              
                                  
                              
                              
                                
                                  
                                  
                                
                              
                             
                            
                            
                          
                          
Ava Nicole.
"168...169..." I tap my fingers on the steering wheel slowly driving down the street, squinting my eyes to see the house addresses.
"170!" 
I pull into the driveway of the house.
the house wasn't anything too big and it wasn't too small, it was a nice two-story modern home.
my parents bought the house for me when I was younger so I could've moved in whenever I turned eighteen. 
aka today.
my parents died three months ago in a really bad car crash, leaving me with everything they left behind, when they died it felt like my heart was torn out of my chest.
I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, I didn't even want to get out of bed, I was forced to go to therapy so I could talk about it or whatever.
I never did
why would I talk about something I want to so badly forget.
I was put in a group home for those three months, it was horrible I always try to see the positive in things but it was obvious I was hated.
anyways that leads me here, I just turned eighteen today so I was officially an adult and I could leave the home. 
I wasted no time to.
I get out of the car and let my eyes roam around the outside of the house, it's beautiful but I don't know if I can handle living alone.
I shut my car door and take my bags out of the trunk, locking the door I walk up to the front door.
fishing in my pockets for the keys I pull them out and hesitate to open the door.
I sigh and stick the key in the keyhole and slowly twist it, I take a deep breath and walk inside the house, I could feel the tears threaten my eyes when I see inside.
it's designed just like our old house from when my parents were alive.
I blink and wipe away my tears and walk to the kitchen to distract myself. the kitchen is different from our old one.
I put some of the groceries I was provided into the refrigerator and grab my bags and walk upstairs.
four rooms.
three are gonna be empty.
my heart beats fast but I try to calm myself down, I pick a random room.
the whole house was already furnished, I could tell my mother picked out everything.
I smile at the thought, but my smile fades as I think about how happy she would have been to surprise me with the house.
we weren't rich so I could tell she saved up a lot of money.
I open my bags and start filling up my closet with the few clothes I have, I should probably get more but it's enough to last me a while.
when I'm finished I start filling the bathroom with all of my hygiene things.
when I finish I realize I have nothing else to do.
I start my new job tomorrow, it's not the best job, it's just a small bakery/cafe not too far from my house, so I should probably go to sleep.
I check my phone to see the time.
6:30pm
still pretty early.
an idea pops in my head and I smile.
I grab my keys and walk downstairs as I walk past the living room I try my hardest to avoid looking at it because I know I'll start crying like a baby.
and I'm not a baby, I'm a grown adult woman, yeah...
I make my way outside and into my car, I pull out of the driveway and put the nearest grocery store in my GPS.
walking into the grocery store I walk over to where the bakery section is.
my eyes scan all the cakes they have, which one should I choose? I think long and hard before choosing my go-to favorite.
chocolate.
I giggle and grab the round cake, it's probably too much for one person but at least it will last me some time.
I also pick up some snacks and some ice cream.
I shouldn't be using so much money but hey it's my birthday.
I purchase all the very nonhealthy delicious foods and make my way back home.
I grab all of the grocery bags and make my way to the kitchen avoiding looking at the living room.
I walk into the kitchen and put all of the snacks into the pantry and the ice cream into the freezer. 
I leave the cake on the counter and grab a knife from the drawer rinsing it and cutting myself a slice.
I smile as I slide the piece on my plate.
I grab a fork out of the drawer and quickly rinse it off.
"happy birthday to me, blah blah blah blah blah" I poke the cake and take a huge bite.
"mmm," I practically moan.
so good.
I finish up the piece and my stomach feels like it's about to explode.
walking upstairs I take a quick shower and brush my teeth.
I lay in bed "I can do it" I sigh.
a couple of minutes later and I'm still awake.
I knew I couldn't do it.
walking into the bathroom I open my medicine cabinet and pull out some sleeping pills my therapist told me to take because I wasn't sleeping.
I'm working on sleeping without them but I can't my memories come rushing to my mind and keep me up all night, crying.
I put the pill in my mouth and splash some water in my mouth and swallow.
I look at myself in the mirror and my hazel eyes stare back at me and smile.
the smile seems, sweet and happy.
I can pull it off.
I pick up a random hair tie and put my medium-length brunette hair in a bun so it doesn't get crazy while I sleep.
sighing I head back to the bedroom, laying on the bed and putting the cool covers over me, I turn off the lamp.
I feel my eyes getting heavy quickly.
thank god.
I shut my eyes and soon after, I fall asleep.