49 | ﴾ Burlesque ﴿

                                    

                                          
I slept for the afternoon through a flurry of yet more nightmares and the sounds of spells casting outside, which only threw fuel on the fire. My eyes had remained closed but my mind sat on the surface the entire time, nervous and disturbed. So much so, that when Luna Lovegood gently tapped my shoulder to rouse me I nearly hexed the fairy-like girl in a panic. She simply smiled gently and let me know that dinner was ready. 
                          
I dragged myself out of the small bed and walked in with a blanket around myself, slumping at a table with a group of people planning as many details as could possibly be considered for the next day. I knew I was giving off vibes of sickness just from the way I was digging my nose into the blanket which rose right over my head like a hood. I couldn't care less. I had reached a point where I was on the verge of losing my mind and soul altogether, both physically and mentally. 
                          
I couldn't stop thinking about what had happened to Lucas and if I could've done anything at all to prevent his death. The guilt was overpowering. He had died trying to find out what had happened to me, even though it had been unnecessary on every front. I could only be thankful for the fact that he had come alone and not brought my brother. My parents would never speak to me again. I had become a monster, branded with the dark mark and participating in the very unforgivable things I had wanted to avoid in order to play my part. 
                          
"Chin up, chicken," Fred Weasley said beside me, leaning around the confines of the blanket to shove a spoonful of peas at my face. I couldn't tell if he was mocking me or genuinely trying to be friendly, either way I lifted a blanketed arm and smashed the spoon away, spraying peas everywhere. Seamus stopped to peer with a shriveled nose at a few that landed in his water glass, and Minerva leaned back in her chair with a stern expression of distaste.
                          
A shuffling to my left and Draco appeared. He seemed to have levelled out in the few hours since I had seen him. His face was calm and collected, and he'd obviously come into our barrack room to change into a sharp black suit. He pushed his chair right up against mine and put his arm around my shoulders. My face flooded with heat and shame as several people stared at the atypical show of affection coming from the wicked boy. 
                          
Draco pulled me into him so our faces were close and whispered to me, "We are required very soon. You must prepare yourself - you look abhorrent. At least drink some water." He pushed a glass across the table at me and I stared up into his empty cerulean eyes, wondering what had brought on such care. He stared down at me blankly and I breathed in the smell of pine and his warm breath on my face.
                          
I picked up the glass gingerly and leaned further into him with my face in his neck. He sighed in aggravation, obviously not intending for me to completely snuggle him, "Drink it. Tonight is no joke, Madeleine." I sipped at the water while cuddling into him, feeling a dull emptiness in my chest. He let his arm hang loosely off of my shoulder while talking to Blaise on his other side about which wands out of the bucket would be better to try and slip to Harry given his personality traits and casting styles. I came to the obvious conclusion that he had been filled in once again on what he needed to do from within the castle the next day. 
                          
Blaise was in the middle of explaining that he had forced Hilda to go home to her parents for the sake of safety when I finished the water and put it on the table, only to be slammed by a familiar rise in my metabolism. I froze, suddenly noticing that the euphoria potion he had just snuck into the water was reacting to my system differently than usual. As my heart picked up speed so did the callous nature of my poisoned magic and I sat straight up, the blanket fell from my shoulders as a hyper and menacing feeling struck me in the chest. 
                          
I scowled at Draco in betrayal and he lazily turned his face to meet mine. "Relax, it was necessary. You were about to get on that stage moping like Old Yeller, how do you think that would've played out?" he replied tersely.