" why did Bellamy have to die *still crying in Lincoln's arms * why?" I say into his shoulder " I don't know but I'm sorry I have to do this " he says " do what-" he stabs me . I jolt up sweating and it of breath with tear stains down my cheeks " oh my god re you kidding me it was all a dream " I wake up Bellamy by accident " hey are you ok ?" He says in a sleepy voice " uh oh ya I'm fine , sorry for waking you " I say , he sits up and sees my face " no it's ok don't apologize , are you ok ? " he asks " ya I'm fine just a bad dream " I say and lay back down " wanna talk about it ?" He asks " not right but I need to get out of these clothes and take a shower " I say "ok , do you want me to come with considering it's the middle of the night I think? " He asks " sure but no peaking " I say " ugh fine but no promises" he says being dramatic so I roll my eyes at him and get up and grab some clothes ' we you coming or not " I ask him as Im about to leave the tent " ya I am " he says hurrying out of bed " then hurry up " I say and walk out .
We walk to the lake that's not far from camp .
When we get there I start to strip down to get in the water " enjoying what you see ?" I ask Bellamy sarcastically " very " he says I roll my eyes cause well it's me and I get in the water .
He gets in with me and I start to sing "laying in the silence waiting for the sirens signs , any signs I'm alive still i don't wanna lose it it but I'm not getting through this , hey , should i pray , should I fray ya , to myself , to a god . To a savior who can ... Un break the broken un say these spoken words , find hope for the hopeless pull me out of the train wreck , unborn the ashes , unchain the reactions , I'm not ready to die , not yet , pull me out of the train wreck , pull me out , pull me out , pull me out , pull me out , pull me out , underneath our bad blood we still got a sad song , home ,still at home yeah it's not to late to build it back 'cause a one in a billion chance, is still a chance , still a chance and I would take those odds , unbreak the broken un say these spoken words find hope for the hopeless pull me out of the train wreck , unborn the ashes unchain the reactions , im not ready to die not yet pull me out of the Train wreck pull me out , pull me out , pull me out , pull me out , pull me out , pull me out oh , you can say hat you like cause I wouldn't die for it no im down on my knees I need you to be my god , be my hep , be a savior who can unbreak the broken unsay these reckless words , find hope for the hopeless pull me out f the train wreck , unborn the ashes , unchain the reactions not ready to die not yet pull me out of the train wreck pull me out ,pull me out, pull me out" ( i know that's a long song but it's one of my favs) " Wow I didn't you can sing and that's a really sad song where did you learn it ?" Bellamy asks " my old best friends taught it to me before I got locked up " I say kinda sad cause I miss my old best friend " I know another if you want to hear it ?" I ask him " why not let's see what else you got " he says " how could you leave so unexpected we waited , we waited for you but you just left us we needed you , I needed you , look I don't know what it's like to be addicted to plus but I do know what it's like to be a witness , it kills , mamma told me she loved I'm thinking " this isn't real " I think of you when I get a whiff of that cigarette smell , yeah welcome to the bottom of hell they say pain is a prison let me out of my cell you say your proud of me , but you don't know me that well sit in my room , tears running down my face and , I yell into my pillowcases say you coming then call a minute later saying your not, I'm humiliated , I'm in a room with a parent that I don't barely know some lady in the corner watching us while she's taking notes , I don't get it mom don't you want to watch your baby's grow , I guess pills are more important all you have to do is say no , but you wot do it will you , you'll keep popping till them pills kill you I know your gone but I can still feel you , why would you leave us , why would you leave us , how could you leave us here , how could you leave us , why would you leave us , oh yeah , I got this picture in my room and it kills me but I don't need a picture I need the real thing , now a relationship is something we won't ever have , s why do I feel like I lost something I never had you should have been there with me when I graduated, told me you over me and congratulated me instead you left us at the window waiting where you at mom , we're to young to understand where you at , huh yeah , I know them drugs got you held captive I can see it in your eyes , they got your mind captured , some say it's fun to get the high but I'm not laughing and do you realize and what your not grasping that I was nothing but a kid who couldn't understand it I ain't gon' say that I forgive you cause it hasn't happened I thought that maybe I'd feel better as time passes , if you really are for me then where you at then , why would you leave us , why would you leave , how could you leave us here how could you leave us , why would you leave us , oh yeah " ( if you want to listen this song you an find it on YouTube it's called "how could you leave us" by NF and the other song is called "train wreck " by James Arthur ) .
" so do you like only know sad songs or what ?" Bellamy asks I laugh a little " well I know some sad songs and some not very appropriate songs " I say as I'm getting out of the water " oh really like what songs ?" He says and gets out of the water to " I can't tell you sorry " I say and get dressed " oh come on please ?" He begs " fine " I say " trying a bitch ,gang shit , bitch, can't take big dick but I suck on it , I ain't fucking with a pussy got a bump on it bad bitch put the pussy on me whip out my dick then. Hump on it , I'm a bad ass Bitch what you looking ? Imma throw it back like a Cadillac , I don't care how you throw it imma handle that Imma break this bitch dismantle that , said I fuck it up what's next , fuck on your bitch she a whole thot and that bitch eat a lot she fucked me and sucked me man she a thot , ya lets have the sex talk give it to me good take them drawls off you can hit it from the back take it all off you ain't got to go to work baby call off , hey yuh turn this shit up , play this for your gang walk in the party and I clutched my thang she thrown her ass while I'm making it rain , you guys be flossing that shit for the fame , fuck it up lil Bitch just fuck it up , suck it up lil bitch just suck it up, give it to me good take them drawls off he can hit it from the back take it all off"' ( the rest of the song is even dirtier so if you want to listen to it it's called " throw it back like a Cadillac " you can find it on YouTube ) " damn well I didn't expect that but um ok then " Bellamy says " ya I told you it was dirty " I say back to him " we need to get back to camp come one " I say after I'm done getting dressed " your right lets go " he says and puts his arm around my shoulder and we start to walk back to camp " I'm tired " *yawn*" I say " ok come here " Bellamy says and picks me up bridle style , I wrap my arms around him and lean my head on his shoulder " thank you " I say quietly " your welcome baby " he says and I fall asleep in his arms .
I feel myself being laid down n a bed and someone laying down next to me " goodnight baby "they say so I'm guessing it was Bellamy .
The next morning I wake up alone " Bellamy ?, Bellamy ! " I yell " hey I'm right here I was getting breakfast here you go " he says and hands me some food " oh thank you " I say in a sleepy voice and grab the food he's handing me " no problem and what was the dream you were having last night ?" He asks " oh well what happened was that Lincoln woke me up I the middle of the night and told me to follow him so I did no he led me to a dead body and told me not to read out then showed me who it was and well it was you so I freaked out and then he hugged me and then stabbed me and I woke up and well you know the rest " I say and then I start to eat " wow that's morbid " he says " ya I mean I've had dreams like that before just not with you and Lincoln in them " I say after I'm done eating . " really ?" He asks " ya with my mom and dad and well my dad was Lincoln and well my mom was you " I say nonchalantly " how often did you have them ?" He asks " everyday about a month before my mom got floated " I say sadly " oh I'm sorry " he says and sits next to me " it's ok on over it now " I say " wanna go on a walk with me ?" I ask him and get up " sure why not " he says and gets up and we walk out of the tent .
