17. French Failure

                                    

                                          
"Come on Lottie, it'll be fun," Sophie pleaded. She was trying to persuade Lottie to join the rest of the team bowling. 
At first Lottie was going to go but had then found out that Sebastian was going too. She was doing her best to avoid him since Montreal. She was so angry with herself for her reaction to him. How could she have let him do those things to her? 
He'd totally ignored her all evening after they'd got out of the elevator, just giving her the occasional smug smile. The bastard knew exactly what he'd done to her. His ego was already big enough and now she'd helped boost it even more. He'd texted her between then and arriving in France, asking if she fancied testing the French elevators out with him and that he could always hit the emergency stop to give them more time. 
She just replied with the middle finger emoji, which he'd replied to with a bunch of laughing emojis. Now it was Thursday evening in France, and she was determined that she was not going bowling.
"Sophie, I have a bad headache, and I'm tired. I just want an early night. Seriously, you have fun. I'll join in next time."
"Are you sure? Hate to think of you stuck in alone while we are all out having fun."
"Soph, I'll be fine. I'm just going to sleep. Just make sure you beat Vettel ok?" Sophie laughed. 
"OK, I'll beat him for you. " After Sophie left Lottie decided to have a hot bath. She sank below the bubbles whilst listening to her Spotify play list. She heard her phone beeped but she decided it could wait. She relaxed in the tub for about half an hour before finally climbing out. She dried herself off and wrapped a bath towel around her body. She picked up her phone and headed into the bedroom. Looking at her phone she was surprised to see a text from HIM. 
Sebastian: Where are you? Was looking forward to seeing you x
Lottie: Early night. Headache. See you at track tomorrow
Sebastian: Bullshit. You're avoiding me, aren't you? 
Lottie: Maybe. 
Sebastian: Because of Montreal?
Lottie: What do you think?
Sebastian: Ok, I'm sorry. I was out of line. I took it too far. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed it very much, but there's a time and place and that wasn't it. 
Lottie was surprised by his apology. She thought he'd be gloating about it. She thought about her reply before deciding that honesty was best, even if it did boost his ego even more.
Lottie: No need to apologise. I wanted it as much as you did. Guess I wasn't thinking with my head. Bad idea. But I always make bad decisions where you're concerned
Sebastian: So are we cool?
Lottie: Well as cool as we get I suppose. 
Seb grinned as he read her replies. He knew she'd enjoyed it!
He'd stayed away from her after exiting the lift, not trusting himself. He had been looking forward to seeing her tonight and had been very disappointed when he had found out that she wasn't coming. He still didn't know what the hell was going to happen between them but it was great to hear that she'd wanted him too. He had to figure out his next move. He had to convince her they deserved a chance.
                                      ***
Lottie was in a world of her own the next morning. Sat drinking a coffee she jumped a mile as Seb slipped into the chair opposite.
"Morning," he said, brightly.
"Hey."
"You ok?" he asked. She smiled at him
"Yeah, I'm good. Just tired still. Didn't sleep well." 
He reached over and put his hand on top of hers. He was amazed that she didn't pull away. 
"Lottie, we need to talk about Montreal," he said, softly. She looked down at the table, refusing to look him in the eye.
"Please, can we just forget about it?"
"You might be able to. I can't Lottie. Surely you know there's something between us."
"We can't go there Sebastian." She wanted to, boy did she want but she was terrified. Terrified of how much she wanted this man, but still clinging on to the past. How he had lied to her, how he had just played with her feelings. Why should she trust him now?
"Why? Give me a reason at least."
"Please Sebastian. Please, if you care about me in the slightest, please just let it go. I can't do this. I don't want this."  Seb felt a lump in his throat. He'd hoped and hoped that he could win her over. After the elevator he knew for a fact that she wanted him. He decided to let it go, for now. But he wasn't giving up. He'd give her some space. For now at least.
"OK, have it your way but I'm telling you this isn't going to go away. You want me. I want you. It's inevitable liebling."
"You are so sure of yourself, aren't you?" 
"I'm sure of my feelings. I'm sure of how I make you feel."  She pulled her hand away, shaking her head. 
"I'm not giving in to them Sebastian."
"You will. And you know where to find me when you do."  He stood up and walked away.  Lottie started shaking. He couldn't be right. She could not, would not, give in. 
                                       ***
Seb walked out of the garage. He handed his HANS and helmet to Antti. He yanked his balaclava off and ear plugs out. He was extremely pissed off.  Perez had taken him out at the start. His race was over before it had begun. 
He stormed into his room, slamming the door behind him before Antti or Britta could follow him. He sat down, angry tears welling in his eyes. At least they couldn't blame him for this one. Any idiot could see that Perez had been to blame. He took his phone out of his locker. He scrolled through his contacts before finding the one he wanted. He hit the call button.
(A/N conversation would be in German but not translating it all. So just imagine.)
"Hello, Sebby. Are you ok? That idiot, I hope he gets a penalty for it."
"Father,I'm fine. You never know with the FIA. Won't help me whatever happens. I'm just so pissed off. I had such a chance today starting third. I just need to hear your voice. And Mother's. Is she there?"
"She is out I'm afraid son. She's gone over to Helga and Manfred's to meet their new granddaughter."
"Oh ok. I can't talk long anyway. Have to go and face the press. I just...."
"I know son, I know. We're always proud of you, whatever. Remember that. I know you've been through a tough time, but you're pulling through. Better times are ahead."
"Thank you Father, I hope your right."
"Love you son."
"Love you too Father."  He disconnected the call and hung his head down. The low moments didn't occur so much nowadays but this was one. He wished he had someone to hold him and tell him it was going to be alright. He may appear super confident on the outside but inside he was like everyone else. 
The door opened and Britta poked her head in.
"You ok Seb?" 
"No," he said, knowing that Britta would see through any lies.  "But I will be."
"Come on. Best to get this over with." He stood up and followed her out to face the media.