君がいる side.A (Kimi ga Iru side.A) | side.A-3: 君は残酷だね (Kimi wa Zankoku da ne)
“Mr. and Mrs. Miyazono...”
“Arima? You guys too.”
Her father turned to us while looking a little surprised.
“Don’t you have an important competition today? Thank you for going as far as coming here.”
Her mother keeps on hugging her shoulders so I wasn’t able to see her expression but by how her father smiles like how he always does made me a little relieved.
“Not really. I was told to report to her so…”
Meeting her parents felt awkward and embarrassing but I tried to cover my feelings with laughter.
“Oh, so she said that. This is you we’re talking about. You surely did great, right?”
“Yeah. Well, just good enough for Miya – for Kaori not to get mad.”
I was actually lost in thoughts of her and our separation that I couldn’t move before I could play.
If it weren’t for Tsubaki’s sneeze, I wouldn’t have been able to look around me and realize where I was. I’ve caused problems to everyone with my instability. Even though I’ve got good results, if ever I’ve shown that side to her, I would know how she’ll react. That’s why that wasn’t just modesty or anything else, it was a frank self-assessment.
“However, to leave something like results is so trivial. The more you grow; the more you’ll come to realize one’s hardships.”
“Um.”
I ended up replying vaguely as I do not know how to respond to her father’s words. Then he came to ask me,
“Do you still remember what I have told you before?”
“Erm… which one are we talking about?”
Her father and I talked a lot of times. The first time was when I went to their house, then when I bought a canelé as a gift to her when I visited her to the hospital. I think the most recent one was when I went for another visit to her.
“I think it was quite recently. I mean, when Kaori was doing some rehabilitation.”
A little while before, when the season was just changing from autumn to winter, when I had something that I wanted to say to her, when I wanted to punch something to her who became almost-lifeless, I asked Aiza so I stood there on the stage at their school festival. I forced my way to play on stage, just so I could declare a war against her who’s trying to run away from the stage.
I, and Aiza, played with everything we had. Even if you weren’t there, I relayed my thoughts to the people who were listening throughout the hall.
Asking, “Can you forget?”
After that, she changed a little. But I knew more than that. It was like she was back to how she was before.
“Yes, I still remember.”
On a different day, I was thinking of going home after I didn’t see her in her hospital room but her parents called out to me stopping me from my tracks. I was taken with them and there, I saw her, doing her best in doing her rehab.
“You told us that you haven’t even done anything at all but I thanked you since there was you, who did your best. Correct me if I’m wrong but didn’t we had that kind of conversation?”
Her father said while as if searching for the specific scene from his memory.
“Yes. I guess something like that happened.”
Her father laughed suddenly.
“Then, I must tell you once again, Arima. You taught Kaori something. The misery of being in the dark and carelessly living and suffering. You shone over them, taking her away from the darkness with your light. You gave color to that girl’s gray heart. For the last time, thank you. Really, thank you.”
Her father said and lowered his head for a bow.
I felt an intense discomfort from his words.
And at that time, I finally realized.
By how her father came to embrace her mother who’s still hugging her shoulders and shaking, by how he had raised his head to me where I could see his eyes swelling red.
The operating light was already off when we arrived.
Why is it that her father won’t say anything about the surgery?
Why is it that her parents look so sad?
Before I knew it, I started walking, uncertain and sluggish. I could feel how far the operating room’s door.
And by the time I got past her parents, that was when I held my shoulders, tightly.
“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”
Her father’s hoarse voice said low.
No. I don’t want to hear it.
“We were the ones who couldn’t do anything. Up until the very end, there was nothing we could do for her.”
Her father said as his sobs started to go out of his throat.
No, don’t. Don’t listen. Don’t listen.
“It was no good… Kao… Kaori’s body… couldn’t stand the operation.”
Tsubaki and Kashiwagi screamed and went to embrace each other as they let out their cries. Watari went to nuzzle his forehead on the nearest wall, his body trembling. The certificate that I was holding slipped from my hands to the ground and I followed, onto my knees.
“What? Mr. and Mrs. Miyazono?”
Say something.
“Stop this… Tsubaki, Kashiwagi too. And you too, Watari…”
Why are you crying?
“You’re… always walking in front of me… So my chance now is gone, huh… Aren’t you the one who’s… quite cruel…?”
Tears flowed on my cheeks. The cry I’ve been holding back burst out, flowing through, in clear sounds.
Is this a cry of suffering? Or a cry of regret?
I don’t know.
But once again, the dam that I had built for myself wasn’t able to hold my overflowing feelings, and I wasn’t able to stop them.
East Japan Piano Competition Final Selection
Overall Result
Champion: Mr. Kousei Arima ―
That day, I lost my first love.
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You Are Here side.A - Shigatsu wa Kimi no Uso Fanfiction (Your Lie in April)
Fanfiction君がいる side.A (or You Are Here in English) is a Shigatsu wa Kimi no Uso (Your Lie in April) fanfiction written by Motsuto. Written in Kousei Arima's point of view. MOTSUTO'S NOTE: This story happens after the original work's Chapter 43. Please do not...
