36-I Can't Lose Him

                                    

                                          
(y/n)'s POV
I sighed as I sat up from the bed and slowly pulled myself from Anakin's sleepy grip. I've been laying here for over an hour trying to sleep, but it was impossible. I have the events of Geonosis on my mind, and now there's someone I have to go and see. 
                          
I paused while Anakin groaned sleepily and turned onto his other side as he hugged the pillow; then, much to my relief, his soft breathing filled the room once again. I didn't want him to know where I was going, his protective nature would kick in and he'd insist on coming. But this is something I had to do alone, I didn't want him to know that I was hearing voices and that the voices were urging me to do un-Jedi like things. Him and Master Yoda would probably shove more medication down my throat, and something tells me that that won't help me.
                          
I quietly got dressed and frequently glanced over at my fiancé to make sure none of the sounds I was making were going to wake him. Once I was presentable, I grabbed a cloak and placed it on to hide my identity the best I could; and quietly left the room. I walked through the nearly empty halls of the temple, since it was in the middle of the night, to get down to Jedi detention center. Which is exactly where Obi-Wan and Anakin put Dooku earlier today.
                          
I had to know what happened earlier, what those voices was and why they brought me so much pain..
                          
It'll only get worse the more you fight it.
                          
His words echoed in my mind, he knew something about it too, so that's why I'm going to see him now. Something tells me that I won't get real answers from anyone except him.
                          
I stepped in front of the thick glass and looked down the empty hallways before removing my hood. I glanced inside to see him sleeping on the small cot, "Wake up Dooku." I pounded my fist against the glass and his eyes snapped open immediately; almost like he wasn't sleeping at all, but merely closing his eyes, meditating. He turned his head to the side and smiled mischievously when he noticed it was me.
                          
"What a lovely surprise." He sat up on the edge of his bed slowly.
                          
"What did you mean when you said 'it'll only get worse the more you fight it'?" I went straight to the reason why I was here, I had no interest in making small talk with this vile man.
                          
He chuckled as he stood up and walked towards the glass that separated us, "I thought that part was obvious," He tilted his head and eyed me up and down.
                          
I sighed as I shook my head; confused as ever, "What is happening to me, why am I hearing these voices?" I practically begged him to tell me. 
                          
He half-smiled, "Now why would I spoil the surprise?" He chuckled as he turned around to go back to his bed.
                          
Kill him. 
Do it.
He was going to kill your Anakin. 
                          
I cried low as I grabbed my head, the pain hit me instantly as the voices shouted at me in a hundred whispers, "No, please stop." I pleaded to the voices.
                          
Dooku's movements halted and he turned to face me with a look of intrigue as my face twisted into one of pain, "Listen to it, do what it tells you. Give in (y/n)."
                          
I shook my head, "I don't want to be a killer." I backed away from the glass.
                          
But you are one.
                          
You murdered the sand people
You're a monster.
                          
"Shut up!" I cried louder as I hit my fist against the glass, my head felt like it was being clawed at by a thousand knives, "I'm a good person, I'm not a killer," I whispered as I pulled at my hair, "I have a beautiful soul." I repeated the words that Anakin told me in hopes that his voice in my mind will drown out the others.