22. we are young

                                    

                                          

                            

                                
                            
                              
                                  
                              
                              
                                
                                  
                                  
                                
                              
                             
                            
                            
                          
                          
                          
You were glaring so hard from beneath your glasses you thought you might strain your eyes; but you didn't let up. Karasuma, who was opposite you, slurping some noodles, was giving you a concerned look.
                          
"Ok, what the hell are you staring at?" he finally asked, putting down his chopsticks.
                          
You scowled. "That cat," you pointed directly at a ginger feline, that was sitting on a nearby wall outside the shop you were in, "has been staring at me for 23 fucking minutes."
                          
Karasuma glanced over, exhaled dryly, before stating, "(Y/n), it's a goddamn cat."
                          
"It wants to kill me," you replied shortly. "I can feel it in my soul."
                          
"You can--what--oh for fuck's sake," Karasuma groaned, rubbing his forehead. "Umm, let's change the subject."
                          
"But the cat wants to--" you protested, but your friend cut you off.
                          
"Anyway! Any progress with this weird love triangle thing?" he questioned, picking up his cutlery and proceeding to behind eating again.
                          
"No," you replied dully. "I just know that they're going on a date today, downtown. Oikawa said he needed something to take his mind off the whole volleyball thing."
                          
"Why didn't he go out with you?" Karasuma inquired. "I'm pretty sure it's confirmed at this point that he prefers you over Rin. He doesn't like confiding in her, from what you've told me."
                          
You paused, then rested your head in your hand, still keeping a watchful gaze on the cat outside. "Oikawa has a very specific idea of what a partner is," you mumbled. "From his past significant others, from what he's told me, it's easy to see that he only knows them on surface area. He's looking for a distraction in them, a weird artificial kind of comfort. 
                          
"That's why the relationships never last. He doesn't know enough about them to actually bond and trust them. And they don't know enough about him, and there's also the fact he doesn't spend much time with them. Oikawa has a very warped perspective on what a romantic relationship should be, and so does Rin; so I suppose the both of them go hand in hand. She just wants him because of a hopeless infatuation, he just wants her because she dotes on him without asking any questions."
                          
"... fucking hell," Karasuma spluttered. "How did you figure all that out."
                          
You shrugged awkwardly. "I tend to think of people as book characters, so it's easier to understand them. Like at first read, you might not get them, but when you go through it a second time, you pick up on the little things and work out who they are. It's the same with people, really."
                          
Karasuma raised an eyebrow, "Interesting. I've always thought people were just… people."
                          
"Well, I only take interest in some people," you proclaimed. "Everyone else is garbage."
                          
"Nice to know you don't see me as garbage," Karasuma chuckled, finishing up the last of his meal. "So, anyway, wanna come to my house? My sister has a copy of that anime series you like downloaded on her computer."
                          
"Fuck yeah," you agreed instantly, but then screeched. "The cat stood up! I swear to fuck, that thing has got it out for me!"
                          
"(Y/n), it's a damn cat!"
                          
-
                          
"Oh," you stammered, standing at Karasuma's doorstep, as you came face to face with the girl you'd met at Oikawa's last game.
                          
Her bright green eyes lit up with a curious excitement; "You! Hi!" she giggled.
                          
"H-Hello," you spluttered, in response, your hand flying to the back of your head.
                          
Karasuma turned to you, looking baffled. "You know my sister?" he asked in confusion.
                          
"S-S-Sister?!" you exclaimed, as you whipped between them.
                          
"We met at a volleyball game," the girl explained. "But stop standing outside like an idiot, Sosuke. What kind of friend are you?"
                          
"Himari, one more word out of you and I'm never buying you Lego again," Karasuma snapped, before glancing at you guiltily. "Umm… it'll be a bit awkward calling us both Karasuma, so do you just want to do first names from now on?"
                          
You blinked in surprise, before allowing the corners of your mouth to quirk upwards. "Sure. I don't mind."
                          
Your friend responded with a bashful grin and a slight blush, which made you nudge him teasingly; then you both stepped inside.
                          
"Hey," Himari butted in, as you began taking off your shoes. "You wanna watch anime and help me build my Lego death star at the same time?"
                          
"Yes!" you blurted out, then paused, and turned to Ka---Sosuke apprehensively. "... if that's ok?..."
                          
He only smiled widely. "Absolutely."
                          
Himari latched onto your jacket, clasping it with excitement, and your eyes twinkled in a way they hadn't done since your mother left.
                          
The afternoon was spent arguing over where to put the bricks, and screaming about the hot people you saw show up in the series you were watching. It was so mind numbing, so carefree; it was as if you were a feather, way out of gravity's cruel grasp, and only drifted pleasantly through the mildly cool air.
                          
But the feather has to reach the ground at some stage.
                          
When you returned home, and checked your social media, your mood became sour, as you spotted the first thing on Oikawa's instagram feed. A photo of him and Rin, practically fishing inside each other's mouths with their tongues.
                          
Disgusting.
                          
You glanced down at the caption, and rolled your eyes; some bullshit about being in love or whatever. They were fucking high schoolers, besides, you were pretty sure Oikawa was going to yeet himself over to a different country to play volleyball. And would Rin follow him?
                          
(Ok, no. That was a scary question to think about.)
                          
"What are you scowling about?" your father drawled from the kitchen, having spotted your expression of exasperation. 
                          
"Nothing," you replied, pocketing your phone. "What's for dinner?"
                          
"I thought we'd get takeout," your dad answered. "I'm too tired to cook, and you are too, probably."
                          
"Valid," you mused, making your way over to the sofa, and sinking into its softness, closing your eyes in exhaustion. 
                          
"You… need to start thinking about packing up and what you're going to take," your father said slowly, causing you to frown slightly. "It's getting near to the end of the year, (Y/n). If you want to go to Scotland, you'd better start preparing now."
                          
The colours from beneath your eyelids seemed to swarm more intensely at his words, bursting from pale oranges to sharp red within seconds, then blooming into a melancholy blue. It distracted you, and calmed you a bit, giving you time to think over what he'd said.
                          
It was true. You did need to start packing. 
                          
As a child, you'd known this moment would eventually come, but in the moment, you now felt as if it was too soon, and that a small part of you didn't want to go.
                          
But you had to go. For your mother, just to see her one last time.
                          
Then you'd come back to Japan.
                          
Well… at least, at the time, you thought that was how it would go.