17

                                    

                                          
Jaemin laid in his bed for the rest of the night with the door locked. 
                          
He ignored the knocks from Donghyuck. 
                          
He ignored the texts from his friends. 
                          
He ignored the calls from Jeno. 
                          
He could only feel pain. 
                          
His back hurt worse than he's ever felt before but he refuses to see a doctor. 
                          
He refuses to be told he might have to suffer again. 
                          
He couldnt feel his wrist, it was all red and swollen. He could barely move it but he was too scared to know the damage. 
                          
"Jaemin-ah?" Donghyuck knocked softly for the billionth time. 
                          
Jaemin didn't reply. 
                          
"Jaemin-ah, I dont know what happened but I know you're hurting right now," Donghyuck let his hand land softly on the door knob. "Please let me in..." 
                          
"No," Jaemin's cracked voice traveled through the door and it made Donghyucks heart squeeze. 
                          
"Then atleast tell me how I can help you," Donghyuck let his lower lip jut out as he heard the a pained groan come from Jaemin. 
                          
"Leave me be..." Jaemin's voice was a s whisper and it twisted Donghyucks stomach into knots. 
                          
He would make sure whoever hurt his Minnie would suffer for it. 

                          
The same conversation happened for days and days on end. 
                          
Donghyuck would leave for school and that would be the time Jaemin would limp out and eat small amounts of food. 
                          
Mostly not being able to finish it because whenever he ate he remembers the white fluid being forced down his throat. 
                          
He would hide out in his room and beside Donghyuck, he hadn't talked to his other friends in days. 
                          
He got a voice-mail from Jeno every single day but he didn't dare listen to them unless he wanted to break himself further. 
                          
And on some days that's all he wanted. 
                          
You are doing this for them. 
                          
Don't forget that. 
                          
Jaemin would think to himself everyday. 
                          
He would think the same words as he stared in the mirror every morning. Looking at the bags under his eyes, he hadn't been sleeping well due to the pain he still felt. 
                          
His back. 
                          
His wrist. 
                          
His head. 
                          
His heart. 
                          
Jaemin was nothing but a limping soul filled with pain. 
                          
And somedays he thinks...maybe he deserves it. 
                          
It wouldn't be happening if he didn't. 
                          
Jaemin let himself slide down to the floor as he stared around at his disaster of a room. 
                          
Homework he hadn't finished because he hasn't gone to school was spread all over his desk. 
                          
Blankets a mess on top of his bed, an unusual sight because the boy usually kept his room neat. 
                          
Too many half drank water bottles scattered on his bed side table because he was too slow to throw them out before Donghyuck got home. 
                          
Their weren't clothes spread everywhere because he's been wearing the same hoodie for days.