~20~ Flustered

                                    

                                          
Troye's pov
                          
I didn't know what to do. What are you supposed to do or say in a situation like this? Seeing Connor like this just brakes me. He looks so fragile and vulnerable. I'm glad he told me everything. I knew that his sister drowned but I didn't know the whole story, I don't think anyone but his family knows these things. Connor is the type of guy who keeps everything for himself, never telling anyone a thing about his emotions, bottling everything up until it gets too much. This must've been a really big thing for him maybe even bigger than confessing he's gay. This really shows that he cares a lot about me, that he trusts me and that's the biggest reward I can ever get. I was holding him in my arms for what I think was an hour. I think it did him good to talk about it, to let his emotions free. I just feel so bad that I can't do anything except for just holding him close to me.
                          
"Connor?" He lifted his head up, his cheeks full of stained tears, eyes still red and puffy. I gave him a quick peck on his forehead.
                          
"Do you want to go home?"
                          
"No I want to see the sunset."
                          
"Okay." I smiled and he gave me a small smile back before resting his head on my chest, my fingers almost immediately finding their way  in to his hair. I don't know what it is but I just love playing with his hair. It's so soft and it has this typical Connor smell.
                          
"Can I.. can I hold your hands?" I smiled at his shyness, aware that he couldn't see my smile but that doesn't matter. He just makes me happy.
                          
"Of course." I untangled my hands from his hair and laid them down on Connor's chest. He laid his hands on top of mine, just holding them. The sun was almost gone and a beautiful reddish color was spread on the horizon, the water of the sea reflecting it. Connor started fumbling with my hands, stroking his thumb over mine. A tingling feeling went trough me. That is what love feels like I thought by myself. He makes me smile, blush, my heartbeat fastens and I get tingling feelings.
                          
"We should probably go home, Tyler needs to pick us up." I mumbled not quite ready to leave yet.
                          
"Mmh yeah you're right." He said with the same amount of enthusiasm as me.
                          
I pulled one of my hands out of Connor's grip to pull my phone out of my pocket but I let him hold my other one.
                          
"Hey Tyler"
                          
"Can you pick us up at the beach."
                          
"Okay see you soon" This went smoother than expected. There is something not right. 
                          
We just kept laying in the same position until we heard a car stopping. Connor stood up so I could stand up too. He waited until I was at his side to start walking towards the car, grabbing my hand and intertwining our fingers immediately. I never thought that Connor would be the type of person who wants the other as close as possible to him, not that I'm complaining though. It's just that tomorrow is our last day together and I'm leaving the morning after. I don't know what we are going to do after that. We need to speak about it I guess but not right now. It has to be tomorrow though seeing that it is my last day here before I go back to Australia.
                          
We walked closer to the car only to realize it wasn't Tyler.
                          
"Gaaaaay!!!" A group of guys shouted out of the car. This was not something I want to deal with right now. It has been an emotional day for Connor, he doesn't need all of this. He did surprise me though with shouting something back.
                          
"Good that you tell us, I almost forgot I was gay. Thanks mate." I smirked at his response. I would've just ignored them but apparently Connor didn't think like that. It seemed to work though. The boys closed their windows and drove away.
                          
A few moments later Tyler did arrive, Korey still with him. 
                          
"C'mon don't stand there. Get in the car!" He shouted.
                          
We did what he said and got in the car. There was no further conversation between any of us. Just the sound of the radio playing.
                          
Halfway trough the ride Tyler spoke up again.
                          
"I'm staying with Korey tonight if you guys don't mind. I'll be back around noon tomorrow. So you have the house for you two alone." Sure Tyler and you really don't try to stell us something with that last sentence.
                          
"Yeah is good." Connor answered normally. Either way he didn't notice what Tyler meant or he played it of.
                          
Tyler dropped us of at Connor's apartment just as he did at the restaurant. This whole ride he didn't even bother to ask how our date went. He just assumes it went good I suppose. I think it went better than I could've ever expected and it's not that we would tell what happened besides the restaurant incident so it's better that he didn't ask about it actually.  The first thing I did when we entered the apartment was plopping down in the couch. I would lie if I said I wasn't tired. I could've slept on that beach. Connor sat down next to me his face flushed red. What made him blush so hard? It wasn't me because I didn't say something since we came home.
                          
"Troye?" He asked, his voice barely a whisper.
                          
"Yeah what's up Concon?"
                          
"We aren't really going to do well you know what, are we? Because I have no experience with guys and I don't know if I'm ready for it." It was literally the most adorable thing ever to hear him stutter about that. I didn't even mentioned having sex but apparently he did get what Tyler meant with having the place for us alone this night. It was so cute though to see him all flustered.
                          
"Connor I would never ask you to do something where you're not ready for and not having experience is nothing to be ashamed about. I would love to be your first one even though it isn't really your first one but still. When you're ready for it I will make sure I'm being gentle. I will make you feel amazing but don't worry about it. We've only been together for a day it's not that we're supposed to have sex already. " He gave me one of his cute smiles, the blush not disappearing from his face.
                          
"Can I...can I kiss you?" My smile grew only bigger. How is it possible to be this cute?
                          
"Of course you can." I giggled.  He leaned closer to me his hand on my jaw, glancing one last time at my eyes before connecting our lips in one of those gentle kisses. I don't know how I could ever live without this boy, how I ever survived all of our cuddle sessions without kissing him.
                          
When we pulled away I ruffled my hand trough his hair, leaving it all messed up. It looked cute though. He should wear his hair down sometimes.
                          
"We probably should get some sleep."
                          
"Yeah..." I heard at the way he said that that he wants to tell me something else.
                          
"Speak up Concon" I said cheerily.
                          
"Do you maybe, only if you want of course, sleep in my bed with me tonight. You don't have to it's just that I would like that and-"
                          
"Shut up Connor of course I want that. And besides we already slept in one bed this week so nothing new. I'm only going to cuddle you more now but I don't think you have a problem with that."
                          
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A/N
Another update woohoo. I've updated three days in a row. Aren't you guys proud of me? :) I would like to thank all of you guys for the wonderful comments you left on my previous chapter. It really makes me happy and motivated :)
Also this is chapter 20! I've no idea why that is special but I think it just is okay.
                          
So yeah that's all I had to say BYE xxx