Chapter 25: The Moon & The Sun

                                    

                                          
I turn on music. Furman lays on the end of my bed, sleeping. I wish I could fall fast asleep as he does. The dog is luckier than I am. It's pretty sad.
                          
I've tried to think of a way to start and apology to Josh. But once I start the ending is horrible. It turns into "It was all your fault!" Of course it isn't his fault, I was being a bitch. Maybe if I see him, the words will flow out naturally instead of a scripted apology. From the heart is better than off a paper.
                          
I lay curled in a ball listening to "Terrible Love" by Birdy. It's a weird song in the beginning. The piano is amazing but the lyrics are strange. "It's a terrible love and I'm walking with spiders." I smile while I sing. Spiders? Hmm. Furman looks up at me.
                          
"Yeah, I know. But I like the song. So go back to sleep!" I can't believe I'm talking to a dog. That is how lonely I am right now.
                          
"And I can't fall asleep
                          
Without a little help
                          
It takes a while to settle down
                          
My shivered bones
                          
Wait till the panics out
                          
It takes an ocean not to break-" I stop singing. I hear something hitting my window. A tap.
                          
I lower the music and grab my baseball bat from under my bed. I walk over slowly. I open the curtains. Small pebbles are scattered on the window sill. I look down and Josh stands there. What time is it?! 2:00 am!
                          
I open the window and he smiles. I don't show any emotion.
                          
"Can I come up?" He yells.
                          
"If you can climb?" I taunt him.
                          
"Just open the front door." He yells back.
                          
"Ehh I'm too lazy!" I suddenly look interested in my nails. He lets out an overly exaggerated groan. I smile and open my window completely. He starts climbing the one pilar of wood that supports the porch cover. Then he pulls himself on the roof. He walks over to my window.
                          
"I'm sorry. You finished all my meds. I couldn't control my moods. It just goes up and down if I don't take the pills." He apologizes.
                          
I rest my elbow on the window sill, cupping my cheek with my hand. "I guess I'm sorry too." I say witty. He smiles. We don't say anything. We gaze into eachothers eyes. I feel an urge to lean in, just so I could feel his soft lips against mine. Something I've been craving but I haven't acknowledged till this moment.
                          
"You want to sit on the roof?" He asks breaking up my thought about his lips. I nod and I grab the comforter off my bed. I climb out my window and stumble. He holds me up. One of his hands on the bottom of my ribs holding me up. Whens he lets go I can still feel his hand though it no longer is there. We sit on the roof.
                          
I wrap myself up. It's freezing. But he seems fine. I offer the blanket but he turns it down. He lays down. I follow him. We stare at the stars.
                          
"Have you ever heard of the story about the moon?" He asks me.
                          
"No." I say.
                          
"Well the moon had been in love..." He begins.
                          
"Keep going." I turn my head and smile at him.
                          
"The moon had been in love. She only could see her love when it was her time to leave. He would slowly peek over the horizon. She had never met him but she instantly knew that he was the one. What the moon never knew was that the sun had loved her back. He would watch her when it was his time to come out. Once the moon could not take her desire to be with him anymore she asked the gods for help. So the gods had told her: You may only be with the sun for one day, every year for only seven minutes. A solar eclipse." He tells me looking at the moon.