"disoriented. that's the only thing to describe it as. disoriented." ricks says to the group around the fire. i'm sitting inbetween glenn's legs look at the fire and around the group. 
                          
"mom said you died." carl says looking up at rick from between his legs. 
                          
"and she had every reason to believe that. never doubt your mother." rick says to the boy. 
                          
"i thought i would never see you again." lori says from beside the man. 
                          
"i cant thank raleigh enough for what she did for me. she's part of the reason i'm here. how i found my family. your sister is a good person glenn." rick says looking over at us. i smile lightly and nuzzle my head farther into glenn. 
                          
"has anyone thought about what we are gonna tell daryl? he's not gonna be too happy his brother was left behind." the old man, dale, asks the group. we all just look around. 
                          
"we'll tell him what happened. merle was being a class a asshole. he was popping off rounds like a lunatic and he beat me and t." i tell the group with a shrug. 
                          
"merle was a threat to us all. your husband did what was necessary." andrea says to lori. 
                          
"we could lie." amy says. 
                          
"or tell the truth." andrea retorts to her little sister. 
                          
"i chained him i'll tell him." rick says looking down. 
                          
"i dropped the key i'll tell him. i'm not ashamed." t-dog says to us. 
                          
"i don't mean to bring race into this but it might sound better coming from a white guy." glenn adds talking to the group. i turn around and look at him. 
                          
"if daryl is like merle and he's so worried about his brother that he'd beat someone because of they're race them he can go after merle himself. good riddance for us." i say to the group a little annoyed that they just let racist people live with them even after the world went to shit. 
                          
"he's not like that. i was just saying it would sound better." glenn's says trying to calm me down. 
                          
"hell i'll tell him. introduce us." i say sternly getting us and heading towards glenn's tent he would be sharing with me. i payed down on the small makeshift bed in the tent and fell asleep with my mind racing of the unknown redneck. i wake up the next morning to the sun coming through the tent. i get up and put my boots back on and head out to start the day. 
                          
"good morning raleigh sleep well?" i hear carol ask me as i walk by her. 
                          
"as good as it gets these days i guess. would you like some help?" i ask her seeing her hang clothes on a line. i walk over to her and start to help. 
                          
"you don't have to you know. but thank you anyways." she says smiling. i nod and continue to help her. i watch rick leave his tent and he walks over to us and talks to carol about his uniform. 
                          
"so how was your night rick?" i ask him smiling at him. he smiles back at me and chuckles lightly. 
                          
"it was good. how was yours dr. rhee?" he asks me with a wide smile. i smile back at him. 
                          
"it was exceptional. so what's the plan?" i ask him walking about merle and the bag of guns we left behind. 
                          
"i'm planning on going back. you in?" he asks me in a whisper. i look over at lori knowing he hasn't talked to her about it yet. i nod towards him. 
                          
"whatever you need. i'm there." i tell him. we walked over to my brother was was watching other guys take a part the red car he drove. 
                          
"look at them. vultures." he says to me and rick. 
                          
"maybe we'll steal another one some day." rick says smiling towards the boy. 
                          
"it wasn't your style anyways." i tell him smiling brightly. until we heard a scream. i ran towards the scream to see the kids running from a walker chewing a deer. 
                          
"oh god." i say standing there as the men start to beat the walker. they chopped the head off and i just sighed. then i heard a branch snap so i grabbed my gun and aimed it towards the trees. 
                          
"ya gonna shoot me?" i heard the man say from infront of my gun. 
                          
"i don't know maybe i should." i told him pulling my gun down. 
                          
"i've been tracking this thing for miles. i was gonna drag it back to camp and cook us up some deer. what do you think we can cut around the nawed on part?" the man asks. 
                          
"now you know we wouldn't wanna risk that." shane tells him. 
                          
"it's a shame. i got about a dozen squirrel that will just have to do." the man says to us. before shooting the walkers head. 
                          
"you gotta shoot it in the brain dont y'all know nothing?" he asks the group grabbing his arrow. 
                          
"if youve been tracking the deer for miles why didn't you kill the walker? seems as though he was able to cross your tracks and get to it before you." i say challenging the man. 
                          
"and who the hell are you?" he asks me getting up close. 
                          
"raleigh rhee pleasure. and you are?" i say sneering at him. 
                          
"daryl dixon." he says walking past me hitting my shoulder. 
                          
"merle get your ugly ass out here!" he yells when we get back to the base of the camp. 
                          
"now uh daryl i think we need to talk." shane tries to stop the redneck. 
                          
"there was a problem in atlanta." shane says to him making daryl come to a stop. 
                          
"is he dead?" he asks. i could see the fear in his face of losing his brother. 
                          
"we don't know." rick says. 
                          
"he either is or he ain't." he says getting angrier. i tuned out the rest of the conversation just watching daryl. i could tell he was hurt his brother was left behind. the next thing i know i was ducking from dead squirrels being thrown at me. i watched as shane and rick tackled daryl to get him to calm down. 
                          
"hey woah daryl chill." i say walking towards the man. 
                          
"shut up you don't know nothing. just tell me where he is so i can go and get him." he says and i could tell he was trying not to cry in front of everyone. i walk behind him and wrap my arms around his torso from behind. 
                          
"hey your hands off of me!" he yells trying to fight me off but i just held on tighter. he eventually stopped fighting me off and just stood there. 
                          
"i do know how you feel. i didn't even know if my brother was alive when it all started. we're gonna get him back though i'm gonna get him back to you." i say almost at a whisper. i hold on a little while longer before i let him go and step in front of him searching his face. 
                          
"rick will show you. won't you?" i hear lori ask. i turn to look at rick. 
                          
"i'm going back." he states simply. that's all i hear before i turn my attention back to daryl while the others start bickering about how we shouldn't go back and that daryl wasn't worth it. 
                          
"hey look at me. we're gonna go back and find him. i promise." i say to daryl waiting for his eyes to meet mine. 
                          
"ya whatever." he scoffs walking away. i watch him walk away to pick up the squirrels that were thrown moments ago to start skinning them. 
                          
"you ok? what was that?" i hear glenn ask walking infront of my eyesight. i turn my gaze to meet his. 
                          
"he just lost his only family. just because merle isn't worth it to anyone else he's all daryl has and understand that. no one else may see it but he just wants his family." i tell him sadly thinking of my mother how i would do anything to have her with me even if we had a rocky relationship. maybe that's why. i couldn't keep my eyes off the red neck the rest of the day, because i understood. maybe that's why i couldn't stop the feeling that was growing in me. because i know what it's like for no one to understand you. 
                          
i like to say i'm not addicted...