8 - fools

                                    

                                          
Only the moon draws a pleasant golden color over them.
Izuku had always known they were both stupid, but he never imagined it to be this painful. They're testing the waters once more, only to torture their hearts.
Izuku didn't even realize how close Katsuki had gotten until he whispered, "Are you truly happy?" 
Izuku didn't need to ask what he was talking about. He had to tilt his head and meet crimson eyes that he could never read in all the years he'd known him. 
"Y-yes.. You?"
"Yeah."
The silence was getting louder. They felt as if they were carrying bags of rock on their shoulders. 
Katsuki had no idea his fingers were digging into his thighs. The only thing he could feel was the tightness in his chest and the man in front of his eyes. 
The sight of the man he had avoided for years reawakened feelings he had thought were long gone and buried.
He was doing so well, but now he seems to be being dragged back.
"Why-" Izuku strangles on his own words, clearly because of the painful feelings he's been holding in his chest.
"W-what are we.. What are we doing, Kacchan?" Saying his name still hurts, but at least Izuku gets the question out of his chest.
"I'm not sure what you expect to hear from me." Katsuki shrugs.
"The truth could be a good way to start."
"I..." A pause. "I missed you," Katsuki says, as if anything between them could be that simple.
"I missed you as well, but," Izuku sigh, "Does that really answer my question?" 
Izuku is too concerned with keeping his voice steady to notice how rude he sounds.
Why do they keep playing with their hearts in this manner?
"Kacchan, please." Izuku exclaims, unsure where the assurance in his voice came from. "Aren't you tired?"
"From where?" Katsuki felt as if his throat were being ripped out.
"This." Izuku gestures distinctly to the air because he would fall well short of describing the tangle they're in with words.
"I'm not sure I follow."
That's what Katsuki says, but they both know that, even if his voice doesn't show it, the number two hero is just acting stupid. Trying to be tough, trying to avoid it.
"...Forget it." Izuku lets out a sigh. "I think this will be the last time."
Fools.
Katsuki's head turns so swiftly that a small current of wind follows him.
"Fuck," Izuku runs his hand through his hair, as if they're both on the losing end of moral panic. "W-Why can't we just be honest about this?"
"Because it feels fucking selfish," Katsuki says, "Perhaps it is," A brief pause. "Selfish."
"K-kacchan... 5 years ago i-i told you the moon is-" 
"I know what you're saying," Katsuki begins, his voice low. 
It's barely above a whisper, as if he's afraid to admit what he's about to say. "I didn't understand it at the time, but it's clear to me now."
"Dek- Izuku, I... fucking loved you before I could even realized it. I was simply too much of an asshole and a coward to get what we both wanted."
The world fell silent in response to Katsuki's words, and tears streamed down Izuku's cheeks.
"We desired for things to change.. We didn't want to be in the mess we're in now, but we did want things to be different." Izuku explains.
Katsuki's startled expression only made Izuku gurgle with forced laughter. He threw his arms around Katsuki in a tight embrace, unable to contain himself.
"And i thought doing something about it would imply admitting that what we had wasn't enough. Back then, we finally had a good thing going Kacchan, which... I'd always wanted." He goes on.
"So I remained silent, but it turned out that I had lost you. More than ever before."
Fucking fools.
"I always knew we were stupid, we were only young teens back then after all.. I just never imagined it would be this much."
"Perhaps we were just too hard headed in our own ways," Katsuki speculates.
They exchanged glances. It's too dark, but they're close enough; bright green eyes collide with slanted red ones.
"Things haven't changed, but that doesn't mean we have to keep on playing... like this."
Katsuki locks his gaze on Izuku. "I know.. dumbass."
Both of them were haunted by memories of the past, but they were both truly happy at the time. Well, that's what they thought.
Katsuki felt his heart stiffen, the sensation rising from his chest up through his throat once more, and a tear finally falls from his left eye. Both of them burst into tears. 
He kissed him right afterwards. Izuku was unable to react because of shock, nonetheless, he returned his kiss. They were perfect, they were soft, warm, wet, and moving.
However,
The kiss tastes like guilt.
The kiss tastes like regrets.
The kiss tastes like thrown away opportunities.
The kiss has no taste at all.