Chapter 20 : "lost time"

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So, when I call you in the middle of the night,

and I'm choking on the words cause'

I miss you.

Baby, don't tell me I'm out of time,

I got so much of my loving to give you.

- Middle of the Night : The Vamps & Martin Jensen


{Echo pov}

"I want to hold your hand."

What do you say to that? Oh my god, was I really thinking if I should give him my hand. Echo, you can't, ugh but I really want to. So, I gave in. I know, Echo's dumb. This isn't going to help your poor heart.

I slowly opened my right palm for him to take. He immediately put it in his, smiling. Why was he so happy?

Occasionally he released my hand, to drive with two hands, but in a split second I would find his hand in mine again.

It felt oddly amazing, a feeling I didn't want it to end, ever.

We reached the restaurant, it was a simple one, hidden in the suburbs, in fact, but felt cozy and warm. We sat down at a table, the server led us to. The awkward silence was evident between us.

"I know you're confused and I want to explain everything to you. Just.. just let me explain." He started.

"Okay." I softly said.

"A year after you left, I fell into depression.." He started explaining, telling me about his trips to the therapist, the medication he had to take, the reason why it started, everything. I carefully listened to everything he was saying and I was in pure shock.

"If you're thinking, you caused it, you're wrong. You cured it, Echo. I know I'm 6 years late, but I wanted to be completely stable before finding you, I wanted you to be proud of me, like you always were. You were the reason I wanted to keep living. I'm not saying this, just because I want you back, but I'm saying this because you deserve to know that you saved a life, my life." He said.

I was at a loss for words. He had depression and I... I was not there to help him. I felt so bad, so guilty for leaving him.

"I-I'm so happy you're here. Thank you for living. I'm sorry, so so sorry." I said, honestly.

I don't know what came over me but I took his hand in mine, saying "You're not 6 years late, Levi. Lost time is not wasted time, you're so strong, and I'm so proud of you. I missed you so much."

I was really proud of him for making it through, and to think that he even started his own foundation and charities for depression, I'm beyond proud.

He smiled at me, and for the first time, I smiled at him too.

"I missed you more." He cheekily said.

I smiled at him once more, before remembering the confession he made at the coffee shop the other time. I have to make it clear that I didn't want a relationship, as much as I loved him, this had to stop, I can't leave him again, what if his depression relapses because of me? I can't do that to him.

"Levi, what you said at the coffee shop the other day, can we..erm forget about it?"

"Which part?" He raises his eyebrow.

"Y-you told me you loved me." I averted my gaze from him, looking down at my hands.

"I did and I still do. And you want me to forget saying it? You're friend zoning me, aren't you?" He asked.

"Kind of. Yeah, I-I don't want a relationship, and I'm sure you'll be able to find someone else." I gently told him, knowing he could easily get anyone he wanted.

"Okay. Friends, then?" He asked, reaching out his fist for me to bump it.

"Friends." I fist bumped him, and smiled. For once, I actually felt content, aside from the fact I could never have him, it was good being friends again.


{Levi pov}

"You're friend zoning me, aren't you? " I asked her, clearly knowing how this conversation was going to go.

"Kind of. Yeah, I-I don't want a relationship, and I'm sure you'll be able to find someone else." She said.

Someone else, ugh. Does she really think I want someone else? Even if I wanted to, I couldn't, she was occupying my whole damn mind and heart, it was impossible. However, I respected her request of us being friends, I knew why she said it, and I was going to try. I also wanted to restore our friendship before anything. Time was running out, but I was going to wait for her, being with her every step of the way.

I tried to lighten the atmosphere, fist bumping with her, having a light conversation with her while eating. She looked so beautiful, the way her eyes lit up when she was talking about her job and the students, I could hear her all day. I told her about my company here, and she listened to every word I said, nodding occasionally. I missed her so much.

After lunch, I sent her home. Before she got down, she surprised me by hugging me.

"Thank you for coming to find me. I'm so proud of you." She said.

I smiled while hugging her back, "Did you really miss me or my muscles?"

She laughed, rolling her eyes playfully, letting me go. There's my Echo.

She got down the car. "Goodbye, Levi." She smiled, waving.

"Goodbye, Echo." I said.

Maybe I'm not out of time after all, I was going to show her that she deserved all the love I was saving for her.

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