11.

                                    

                                          
The apartment was big and chosen for its' several rooms. 
They got one for the studio to film all their videos, and given they had to practise separate quite often, having separate rooms for that was necessary. 
Sleeping arrangements though,  was what Brett had been dreading for. 
-Eddy, I want us to have separate bedrooms. 
-Uuuhh, ok?
-You know, we... decided on taking it slow, you know.... it's...
-Brett, it's ok. We have  to have separate rooms anyway, because of practising,  and I guess having a bed in your room is pretty common. It's not THAT uncommon for couples to sleep in separate rooms either, but... that hopefully doesn't mean I can't sleep next to you some times , yeah? 
-No, of course! 
-I love holding you and watching you  while you're dreaming. 
Eddy stroked Brett's cheek and made him look up at him. 
-I know. I feel the same way. I just... need my own place to hide and rest some times, I'm very dependent on it. I... you know. 
-I know. And it's ok! After all I need space myself, we're built that way both of us. We've managed through long periods being on tours together and stuff. It's gonna be ok, no worries! Yeah?
Eddy stroked Brett's cheek again.  
-Ok ok, I don't mean to stress and nag about these things, it's just...
-It's ok! 
Eddy could tell Brett was very tense, shoulders high. He pulled him close and   put his arms tightly around him.
-Brett, love! It's ok! All I want is just to be with you! How and where isn't that important! I'm so happy to be here with you now! I'm not gonna be making a huge argument about sleeping arrangements, really! 
He could tell Brett was relaxing a little bit. His shoulders sank to a lower level  and he breathed again.
-As long as you don't have anyone else sleeping next to you though!, Eddy playfully added. 
Brett snorted and Eddy pulled back to take a look at him again to make sure he was ok, only to see some small tears.
-Why're you crying Brett? 
-Just...I think... because you're that understanding to me, or... I don't know really. I guess I'm just tired or something. 
-I get that.  It has been a lot these days, but now we're finally here, and now we can take all the time there is in the whole world to do the rest! Nobody has to care, right? 
-Yeah. We need Ollie to come over to put together some of those furnitures though! I really can't handle...that.
-Yeah, me neither! Eddy laughed. -Look, it's all good! We can rest now!  But it seems like you have to sleep next to me in my bed till you have finished your own room though, moahaha!
Eddy was the lucky one to have got the room which was already having a bed. They didn't even have the couch coming yet before tomorrow, so Brett stood no chance really.
It was ok, he thought to himself. Some nights he guessed he could get away with excuses, but it wouldn't hold in the long run. 
Beds were a little bit dangerous. Those were where everybody expected something sexual going on, being close and almost naked and having nothing else to do. Then people seemed to think sex was a good idea, like.. always! At least that was what it seemed like in books, tv-shows, films, like... everywhere! Which Brett thought was stressful.  Made it feel like a commitment or something. To Brett, a bed was a place to sleep, to get a good night's rest. Now he didn't have his parents as an excuse either. He had to deal with Eddy's lust alone.
That night, and some nights ahead, he would excuse himself being way too tired from all the moving and shit.
Eddy was understanding, he would get it. Actually, he looked quite exhausted himself. 
Brett's  thoughts went everywhere, keeping him awake lying next to his lifepartner. 
They went from I can do this! Kissing and cuddling have worked out fine until now! To It's gonna be shit. And he's gonna be mad at me and he's gonna leave me. He's gonna be SO tired of all my excuses. And he would hate me if I told him the truth! 
The winning thought was: I just have to bite it together and push through.  At least I have to try! 
If I'm lucky enough Eddy will never see my tears...