"You know what he did to momma and you talked to him? For real?" She scrunched her face up. 
"What all do you need to know that you didn't already find out? I know you wasn't asking him why he did what he did. He's a selfish person and obviously he did it on purpose." She raised her voice.
"First off I didn't ask him that. I talked to him so I can be able to move on and forgive." I raised my voice as well.
"Forgive? He killed our momma ain't no forgiving that or excusing it." She said.
"I'm not excusing nothing he did and when I talked to him he wasn't either. I told you I went there to move on because it's constant patterns in my life because what I witnessed him do." I clarified.
"You chose to get with somebody like Avontae on your own. That was your decision and that's what you chose to do. You can't pin your wrong doings on nobody but yourself." She raised her voice.
"You not even making sense. Obviously it's a pattern. Yes I got with him because I wanted to but it is a pattern because of what I saw growing up so I allowed it. I'm not pinning my wrongdoings on nobody because I know what I did. I just had to forgive him so I can move on." I said.
"That's like you betraying momma and giving him benefit of the doubt." She said.
"I ain't say I was gone fix our bond, I'm not betraying momma because she forgave him as well." I said.
"Oh so you can talk to the dead now?" She chuckled. "You ran into a no good nigga who constantly treats you like a piece of shit cause you allow it, not because of what you witnessed." She said.
This is not the same sister I know that was giving me advice. She the one that told me I was following behind momma's footsteps so why the change of mind. It's the fact that she throwing my situation in my face.
"Just admit that what he did affected you too and your love life as well." I said.
"How?" She said in denial.
"You been single for forever because you're scared of running into a nigga like daddy. You don't give nobody any chances and you cover it up by saying you're not ready or that's not your focus. And the niggas you do run into they use you and keep you around for company just like daddy did momma. You can stop me if I'm lying." I said.
She grabbed her stuff aggressively and began to walk out.
"Don't come to me asking for advice again, I'm done." She left out.
I'm really confused. I wasn't even asking for advice this time. She asked me a question and I answered. And when she did give me advice I took it that's why I'm starting over again and trying to better myself.
I don't know what's going on with her at all. She literally was the first person to tell me how I'm doing what my mother was doing but now that I underinvestment it she's switching it up.
I don't care what nobody says. I did the right thing and I'm doing the right thing. I know what my father did was wrong. I was the person that was affected the most. I'm not saying my sister didn't have emotions or she wasn't affected as well because you can be struggling and be quiet about it.
It's obvious she still feels a way about what he did and I do too, I'm not justifying what he did at all. But like my auntie said in order to solve a problem you have to go to what caused it.
The moment I'm trying to better myself and and move on she wanna go against me, the person that I'm closest to more than anybody.
She's entitled to feel how she wanna feel about our father but that doesn't mean for her to bash me and throw my problems in my face.
I hate that I did the same thing because that wasn't the mature thing to do at all. 
Im so tired of sparing people's feelings. I'm not in the wrong in this situation.
I'm just going to continue doing me and living my life the way I want to live it.
I'm single, I'm stacking my money up, and I'm learning how to do better for my daughter and I love it.
Yea I'm talking to Semaj, but we both already established that we can't be more than friends right now and we can't do what friends don't do.
I don't care what nobody says. I'm living for myself and my daughter only. People always gone try to argue me down on decisions that I make in order for me to do better and I'm not allowing that no more.
Either you're against me or for me...
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I'm back🦦