56

                                    

                                          
"Daytime drinking?" Miles asked in a shocked manner, seating himself onto the barstool beside my own. "Talk to me." 
                          
"Sorry," I replied, taking a sip at my drink, "Didn't know you were here. Thought you had left with the others."
                          
"Couldn't be arsed goin' to the pub if i'm being honest," he returned, pouring himself a glass. "Plus," he added, "you've seemed off lately," he continued, "and I want to make sure everything's okay without having people intruding."
                          
"I'm fine," I lied. 
                          
Miles simply took a swig of his drink as he contemplated on what to say next. He looked at me with guilty eyes before choosing to finally speak. 
                          
"Jamie told me what happened," he sighed eventually. "He really never meant to come across so strongly, Bell," he continued. "He just wants what's best for you."
                          
"He's not my father though, Miles!" I argued back. "He's got no right in telling me what I can and can't do."
                          
"I know, love," he agreed with a nod, "I completely agree with you. Jamie's only—"
                          
I scoffed at him and made my way to the back doors of the villa, seating myself on one of the lounge chairs on the wooden decking to  light myself a cigarette. But of course Miles had to follow after me. 
                          
"Bella," he begun apologetically as he kneeled down in front of me. "I'm sorry," he continued. "What Jamie did was wrong and—"
                          
"Then why are you defending him?" I questioned sharply. "Alex won't even talk to me now because Jamie got into his head. Alex thinks it'll be better for me if he stays away from me. For good," I stated. "But it's not, Miles. I just miss him so fucking much and it's destroying me having to see him everywhere but not being able to talk to him."
                          
"I know, Bella," he nodded understandingly, "I know," he continued. "But Jamie is sorry."
                          
"So he should be!" I snapped back. "Yes, Alex broke me," I stated, "that's an obvious fact," I continued. "But I honestly don't care anymore," I sighed, "what's done is done. The only thing that matters is the presant," I said. "And right now, the only thing that genuinely does make me happy is him. Whether it's right or wrong, that is the truth. I simply cannot stop loving him. No matter how hard I try."
                          
"Then why don't you just tell him that then?" Miles asked. "Why can't you just let Alex know that that's how you truly feel?"
                          
"Because it doesn't matter what I say," I answered, "Alex won't ever forgive himself. And just to top it off," I added, "Jamie has successfully driven Alex to the point of pure hatred of himself. He despises every single bone in his own body."
                          
"What if I try talk to him then?" Miles suggested softly. "He'll talk to me."
                          
"You can try," I returned with an unhopeful shrug. "Doesn't mean it'll work though."
                          
"I'll try to convince him to talk to you, yeah?" he said calmly calmly. "Will that make you a bit happier?"
                          
I nodded, but still not convinced. 
                          
"I won't tell him all the details of what you just said there," he reassured me, "i'll leave that job up to you. But i'll tell him that you want to talk," he continued, "and that you don't want him to keep being distant and all."
                          
Just as I was ready to speak, Miles' phone started ringing from his back pocket. He gave me a quick apology before raising to his feet and placing the phone to his ear.
                          
I continued to puff away at my smoke as I watched Miles disappear back inside to take his call in privacy. 
                          
I couldn't help but think about Alex. I knew that I shouldn't still love him or still want him, but I honestly can't help it. 
                          
In a way, it's a bit worrying how I could forgive him after putting me through so much. But when i'm at the point where nothing but him makes me happy, that's when I decide to put all logic aside and focus on myself. Life's to short to hold grudges. 
                          
He's my favourite worst nightmare.
                          
Miles' POV:
"This is weird. I don't like it," I joked as Alex walked through the door completely sober, helping a very drunken Matt and Nick. "It's like the roles have been reversed here."
                          
Alex just simply let out a soft chuckle, shaking his head. 
                          
"What are you doing up anyway?" Alex returned as we returned to our shared room. 
                          
Alex, Matt, and Nick were the last three to return back to the villa. It was reasonably late by now and everyone else was asleep. I had stayed up because I wanted to keep my promise to Bella. 
                          
"Couldn't sleep," I lied with a shrug. 
                          
"Fair enough," he responded, sitting on the edge of his bed as he tugged at the shoes on his feet. "Been dying to get these off all night," he sighed as he sat his chelsea boots aside, "my feet are absolutely killin' me."
                          
"That's why you should always layer up on socks when you're wearing new shoes," I returned.
                          
"It's fucken boiling outside," he stated. "Am I fuck 'layering on socks'," he mocked. 
                          
"Alright fine," I shot back, "just have sore feet then."
                          
He rolled his eyes at me, laying back in his bed with a loud, tired exhale. 
                          
"What the fuck are you doing?" he chuckled, turning his head to face me as I still stood leaned against the closed doorway. 
                          
"I need to talk to you, Al," I sighed eventually, moving from the front of the room to my bed in the other corner. 
                          
"Here we go," Alex groaned. "What sort of lecture you gonna give me now?" he questioned sarcastically, "another one about me health? possibly. I swear to god, Miles, if it is then—"
                          
"Will you just shut up and listen for a second," I interrupted. "It's not about your health. It's about Bella."
                          
"Unless she's hurt or sommat, then I don't want to hear it," he dismissed with an audible gulp. 
                          
"Alex..." I exhaled. "You need to talk to her. This isn't good for either of you."
                          
"Trust me Miles, it's what's best for her and that's all that matters."
                          
"No but it's not," I returned. "She wants you to talk to her."
                          
"No she doesn't," he sighed. "Trust me, it's better off this way. "
                          
"How?" I chuckled. "Alex, do you not know how damaging it is for her to see you walk about in the same building as her each and every day and have to try avoid you?"
                          
"Yes," he answered. "It's fucking hell," he continued, "I am a part of it the other way around you know."
                          
"Why are you doing it to yourself then?" I questioned. "Why are you doing it to her?"
                          
"I'm not talking about this with you," he shot back. "Night night," he said as he switched off the lamp from his bedside cabinet and pretended to be asleep. 
                          
"I was talking to her earlier you know," I sighed eventually, gaining no response from Alex as he was now 'asleep', but I still said it because I knew that he was listening to me. "She really wants you to talk to her," I added. "That's the only reason I brought it up."
                          
"Go to sleep, Miles," was all he said in response. 
                          
"Talk to her, Al," I repeated. 
                          
"I'll make me own decisions," he groaned sharply. "I don't need advice on me love life from the man that's been single for the past 12 months."
                          
"But you know i'm right," I returned. 
                          
"Go. To. Sleep," he said in a slow but harsh manner, soon followed by a lengthy exhale of:
                          
"Does she really want to talk to me?"
                          
"Yes," I responded. "She really does. Even if you don't fix things romantically," I continued, "it's not right for the two of you to torture yourselves like this."
                          
He didn't respond. He just sighed.