25. Aftermath (Suga pov)

                                    

                                          
a/n: aghhhhhHHHHH its been so long since i posted i feel like😩😩😩 im so tired but i was like NO I HAVE TO POST SOMETHING TODAY AHHHHHH and i have no excuse not to ive been working on this chapter all day lol, so anyway, i am kinda sleepy now and am sorry if (especially near the end) the writing is like ????? but hopefully its not🥰 (unrelated, i have spent the past two  months listening to music in my car from my phones crappy speaker like a heathen bc its an older car and there no bluetooth or anything, but i finally figured out a way to play music through the car and yayyyy now i can listen to anime songs at full volume!!!)
                          
Ohmygodohymgodohymgodohymgodohymgodohymgodohymgodohymgodohymgodohymgodohymgodohymgodohymgodohymgodohymgodohymgodohymgodohymgodohymgodohymgodohymgodohymgodohymgodohymgodohymgodohymgodohymgodohymgodohymgodohymgodohymgodohymgodohymgodohymgodohymgodohymgodohymgodohymgodohymgodohymgodohymgodohymgodohymgodohymgodohymgod–
                          
   Sorasorasorasorasorasorasorasorasorasorasorasorasorasorasorasorasora–she–I–no, it couldn't be, it–it didn't–make–sense–no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO–
                          
   Why wasn't she moving? Oh my god why wasn't Sora moving, why was she just laying there, why was she so still, so pale, why didn't she look happy, why wasn't her usual, infectious trademark smile there on her face? It didn't make sense, it didn't make sense, why wouldn't she get up????
                          
   "Sora, Sora wake up! Wake up Sora, come on, get up! You can't just stay there! You can't just stay there on the ground, people will think you're dead! Sora! Come on, get up, get up, get up! I can't–I can't–you can't–MAMORU!!!!! Mamoru come on!!!! Why are you bleeding so much!?!?!? Why...why is there blood everywhere? I don't...I don't understand...what...why..."
                          
   He wouldn't move. There was blood all over the walls. I don't–why–why wouldn't he...? And–I couldn't move either! I tried to reach out, to take his hand, to touch his face, but I was frozen. I felt such despair, such hopelessness, such pain, such misery–
                          
   WHY WAS SOMEONE TOUCHING ME OH MY GOD WHO WAS THAT–Mamoru, Sora, are you–NO, wait, NOO! Why were they there, when did they get there, how did they get there, I thought I left them a long time ago, why were they back, why were they touching me, why were they so adamant about hurting me–
                          
   I ran. I couldn't hear, couldn't see, couldn't feel, couldn't think, I just ran until I thought I was far away. Please, please tell me I was safe. I didn't want them to hurt me–oh my god, I'd left them though, I'd left them behind, and they needed me, they needed my help! How could I–how could I be so cruel and just, leave them like that?
                          
   I was a terrible person, terrible person, terrible person, terrible person, terrible person, terrible person, terrible person, terrible person, terrible person, terrible person, terrible person, terrible person, terrible person, terrible person, terrible person, terrible person–
                          
   It was so loud!!! Why was it so loud, why couldn't everything just, stop? Why, why why why why why why why, why–why wasn't Oikawa here? Oikawa! Oh my god, what if they got him, what if he was gone too, it would make sense wouldn't it, the one person I had left, them leaving me. Please let him be okay, oh god, please let him be okay! I couldn't take anymore, not more people gone, please no more, no more, no more, no more, no more, no more, no more, no more, no more, no more, no more, no more–
                          
   Wait, wait wait wait, had...had someone called me just now, I think? I–I couldn't hear them, it was–everything was so noisy, I couldn't get my thoughts straight but, what if they were back? What if they had come found me? I had to–I had to see them! I had to push through to the surface, past all the chaos, I needed them, I needed to see them–