"Daddy issues"

                                    

                                          

"Daddy issues"
                          
_____
                          
On my way to the astronomy tower I felt the urge to just turn around to run after George, but I knew that it wouldn't help any of  us. The hallway I was walking in was dark and my view was slightly blurry, probably because of the shots I had with Cedric earlier. The moment I entered the silent astronomy tower, the fresh and cold air brought me back into reality. 
                          
behind me I still heard some silent voices in the distance. I knew the party was dope - Hufflepuffs just know how to party. But still, this was the only place I felt calm and centered at the moment, for the first time in a while. The music stopped for a few seconds and I was sorrounded by darkness and silence. 
                          
Then the music started again - it was a song from which I knew the lyrics by heart 
                          
"Take you like a drug, I taste you on my tongue", 
                          
I mumbled the words under my breath as I walked to the railing to get a better view on the stars. I know it sounds strange, but I felt like they were shining for me that night, as I was the only one admiring their beauty. 
                          
"You ask me what I'm thinking about, I tell you that I'm thinking about 
                          
whatever you're thinking about."
                          
 Daddy issues by the neighbourhood. I heard people scream the lyrics from far away and I really understood the words for the first time. It wasn't a song to party to, it was kind of sad. It was about broken people longing for love from an emotionally unavailable father - eventually replacing it with somebody else's love. 
                          
I found myself slightly drunk on the astronomy tower, watching the stars at 2 in the morning, mumbling the words to a song that I've misunderstood for many years. 
                          
"Tell me something that I'll forget, and you might have to tell me again" 
                          
I whispered into the void. Suddenly, a weird smell pulled out of the state I was in- was it... weed? I quickly turned around sqeezing my eyes as hard as I could. There was smoke rising up from a dark cornor seeking its way into the world. I couldn't recognize who it was and I ended up making assumptions in my mind. 
                          
"Go ahead and cry little girl, nobody does it like you do" I heard a voice whispering from the dark corner. Before I realized whose voice it was, the person stood in front of me, still far away. The blue light of the moon made its way to his pale cheeks and light hair, embracing every inch of his soft skin. It was Malfoy. 
                          
"Merlin I hate that song" he walked up to me, taking a hit from a blunt that was almost burned up. The rings on his fingers were shining, just like the rest of him. 
                          
I felt so much the moment he walked up to me. I was still angry, hurt and most of all, I was scared of him. But I couldn't deny his beauty. Usually, I would have just walked away, but his presence didn't make me feel as if I was in danger. His face, his black suit and his mysterious voice comforted me in a way that was new to me. 
                          
He leaned over the railing next to me, gazing at the stars, just like I did seconds before. I expected him to say something mean, but his lips didn't move at all. He brought the blunt to his lips again, inhaling deeply and releasing the smoke after a few seconds. Then he turned to me, allowing me to finally see his eyes. His silver eyes were the only thing about him that wasn't intimidating, they were just tired. 
                          
How foolish of me to think that the stars were shining for me. 
                          
I looked at the blunt he held in his fingers and then back at him. My eyes felt like they were glued on tight to his face. He slowly offered it to me, still keeping his eyes on the stars. Eventually, I snapped out of my hypnosis and took it from his cold fingers. I took a few hits, until it was completely burned up. 
                          
For about 10 minutes we didn't manage to say anything at all, but we still found a way to communicate. We were standing side by side, admiring the moon's beauty and I couldn't help but admire his beauty every now and then. 
                          
"Thank you", I said after a short while that felt like forever. 
                          
He raised an eyebrow at me, obviously confused about my words. A little grin formed on my lips as I realized that I had to explain myself
                          
"For saving me from detention.", I added. He threw his head back, smiling at my words and then turned his face to the nightsky again. 
                          
"What? You told me to thank you later, so I did." I explained myself, slightly embarrassed. His smile grew wider as he kept his stare, "I didn't really expect you to". 
                          
"Where were you going anyway?" he asked curiously and a little bit sarcastic. Usually, I would've kept that to myself. It was hard for me to realize that the two of us were actually having a normal conversation. He was so calm, so normal. 
                          
"I was walking back to my dorm from the Gryffindor common room." I said, expecting a certain reaction.
                          
"Stupid Gryffindors" - there it was.
                          
"And where were you going?" I asked daring. "I saw you chewing." 
                          
At first he didn't answer my question, as if it was something embarassing. After a few seconds of silence I didn't really expect an answer anymore. But then I saw him lowering his eyes, looking at his silver rings. 
                          
"I was eating a muffin." he admitted quietly. 
                          
"A muffin?" 
                          
"Yeah." 
                          
It was something normal to say, but not for him. I didn't even know he liked sweets. The idea of him even eating something at all seemed weird enough, but a muffin? 
                          
"Sometimes I sneak into the kitchen at night to get some snacks". I could hear the smile in his voice. It was so soft this time, not as harsh and dominant as it used to be. I couldn't help but smile at the ground, shaking my head in disbelief. 
                          
"Don't you fucking dare tell anyone." there it was again, his normal voice. 
                          
"I won't."