• 37

                                    

                                          
The next few chapters are just fluff after fluff so have fun I guess hahah
                          
TP
                          
When Alexa recounted the events of the night her mother died, Niall was in utter shock. All along he assumed her mother died just because of cancer. Cancer in itself is such a deadly disease and her mother unfortunately had the worst one. But depression along with it? God really wanted the woman to suffer as much as she can before she died. 
                          
Alexa's body shook in his arms. She was crying so heavily, soaking his shirt in just her tears. Her hair was a matted mess on her head and her shirt was drenched in tears. Her cheeks were flushed a bright shade of red as she heaved and cried. Her wet eyelashes rested on her cheeks as she had her eyes shut the whole time she cried. 
                          
Like a couple days back, she was wrapped around him, yet again, crying her heart out. He wanted to comfort her, somehow. He had no idea how to deal with sad people. 
                          
But watching her cry made him want to do anything to get her to stop. It pained him to watch her go through this all by herself. How many days did she endure such a painful reaction to her mother dying? Years? What all has she been through? And why, oh why, is she still the radiator of happiness? How does she do that?
                          
A
                          
Having to retell the story bought back horrible flashes of the events. Niall rubbed my back in an effort to calm my crying self. 
                          
"Lexa. Lexa, sweetheart, look at me. Shh. Stop your crying and look at me," he said, his hands, now, much colder than my cheeks. I forced my eyes open to look into his calming blue ones. I wiped my eyes, which did nothing, but at least I tried. 
                          
"Listen to me... You, Alexandria Eliza March, will never, never ever, be responsible for your mother's death. She was a very strong woman for beating all odds and living for as long as she did. She never wanted you to be sad, never wanted to see you cry and torture yourself the way you do. She kept her depression to herself and her husband because she didn't want your young little heart worrying about her. She wants you to move on, lead a happier life," he wiped my tears. 
                          
"Alexa, I really don't know your mother but, if anything, the reason for her death seems to be so that you have a better life. You were struggling financially and she hated to see her family in shambles. Her only way to end all her family's problems was to end her own life. She knew what she was doing, Precious. There was a reason for her action. With or without the anti-depressants she would've done it. You know why? Because she loves her family. Her husband, Benny, Vanna. And you. She loves you so much. She wants you to be happy. Please, for her sake at least baby, be happy," he said, holding my cheeks in his hands. 
                          
His words only made me cry. But not out of regret and sadness. But out of the realisation that if my mother ever watched me do what I do to myself as punishment for what I did to her, she wouldn't be happy. Not one bit. She never liked to see me cry. She was quick to crack a joke or divert me when I cried. It hurt her to watch me cry. And all I ever did when I missed her was cry. 
                          
I hugged Niall tighter and he surprisingly returned my hug. 
                          
"Believe me, Lexa. Everything happens for a reason," he whispered. "You wouldn't have been here, fucking owning your job, if it weren't for your mother's untimely death. Listen, I'm not trying to undermine your mother but, the determination you had to get to where you are only sprouted from the need to prove your mother right. To prove to the world that you wouldn't fail your mother. She wanted you to shine bright like a star in modelling but you shine brighter than the fucking sun," he said, making me chuckle a little. 
                          
"A little over exaggerated no?" I asked, my voice hoarse from all the screaming and crying. 
                          
"Bitch you wish! Seriously, Kendall, Kylie, fucking whoever else is in this job, had so much influence. You, on the other hand, raw talent. Talent and determination to become the most amazing fucking model out there. And you know what? You're fucking killing it," he said. I let out a little breathy chuckle as he kept feeding my ego.