Epilogue

                                    

                                          
A/N: NOT EDITED.
                          
Chris POV
                          
I used to wonder how some people – men – would either immediately transform into being a father before their child were born and then there were the ones that needed to physically hold their child before the were hit with that life changing moment of realization. They were in now responsible for another human being. Personally I've had that moment once and in that one time it was nothing like I could have ever expected, the fear of not being enough, the anger of realizing they have already endured and witnessed the worse in the world. That moment where I saw a piece of myself in each one, and most importantly the love, the love I didn't know I was capable of after losing Michaela, then failing Rainy and Logan.


                          
I sat feeding Michelle, her brilliant blue eyes sparkling up at me, no trace of distrust and panic in her eyes, not like her older siblings. My eyes went to Kayla, watching her slowly place food on her spoon, before bringing it to her mouth, knowing she had to eat slowly still unless she'd like to be sick later. Rainy came over near me, holding Nicole, a shy smile on her face, "Do you want to tell them now?" she whispered.


                          
"Yeah, Logan should be back with Fiona and Quinn soon," Juliet and Shavon hearing us lifted their heads in support.


                          
Standing with Michelle still slurping at her bottle, "Babies..." I said softly, and hating the way that they actually flinched, the fear apparent in their eyes.


                          
"I know you are all eating your breakfast but we wanted to let you all know something very important. When you and your mommy were in the bad place, she was pregnant one time, and two of those babies were given away..." they looked at us confused, each looking at their siblings.


                          
"You haven't met them before but because Kayla was a very strong girl, she told us about them and your Uncle Logan found them and are bringing them home to us," Kayla hadn't looked up at all but her shoulders seemed to deflate at my words.


                          
"So do you guys have any questions?" Rainy chirped in, saying what Shavon had advised us to ask, stating that they probably wouldn't have many questions.


                          
"What are their names?" Juliet asked out loud when they hadn't asked anything at all, I smiled, "Fiona and Quinn, they are both girls, and younger than Sarah, Hannah and Lily. But they are older than Michelle and Nicole..."


                          
Juliet nodded dramatically playing it up, as well as showing our children how to react to such news, they didn't have any reference, "Wow, Bailey and Michael... do you think you can be great older brothers to these two little girls?" Shavon added, my boys nodded their heads, "We can too!" Cole said smiling, Keith giving me a soft nod, neither smiling of frowning, his little face so serious, probably thinking over his duties as older brother.


                          
My stomach turned uneasily all night, and now as we waited for Logan to return I couldn't even pretend to hide my nerves, as I anticipated the way this was going to play out. This wouldn't be like some made for TV movie on lifetime where our long lost children would be filled with glee to be reunited with us. That was never going to happen. Tears. Sadness. Confusion. Hurt. Feelings of abandonment, that isexactly what we would be facing. For my whole life, I knew that I would always be questioning our decision to have them ripped from the only family they've known. When they grew older, would they be angry with us? I didn't need to ask, because I knew it would happen. Regardless of how they came to be with their first family, they'd question us on how we could just rip them away? Why weren't we grateful that they didn't suffer like their brothers and sisters? The only answer I'd have for them is that those same two people that took care of them, left their siblings and mother to suffer, they are as bad as the men that came to hurt their family.