Chapter 28

                                    

                                          

Lauren arrived back with the boys admittedly shaken as she watch them play and gasp around their newly bought toys, a few hours later and the tribe were fast asleep, the younger laying across her chest with rolling eyes trying desperately not to fall asleep as she tangle her fingertips around the elders soft fit shirt, the dipping head and sleepy whimpers noticed as she glance down to see the deep furrowed brows 
                          
"Baby why don't you go to bed? You look exhausted?"
                          
"I'm scared, of the dream.."
                          
Lauren nod her head gently realising quickly of her own guilt especially with the man's face from the store burnt harshly into the front of her mind, her need to help the girl for as long as she could pressing as she sat her up to go and rummage within her bag, a few moments later returning with something hidden in her palm sinking down between her thighs with a gentle warming smile
                          
"Lauren is that- is that a joint?"
                          
"It's a different kind than you're used to.. it's kind of like a sleeping pill but a lot less harmful.."
                          
"You think it will help?"
                          
"Always has for me.."
                          
She smiled handing over the joint to the girl now eyeing it cautiously before taking hold of the lighter within her palm, the helping hand to stand leading her outside to ignite the tiny flame against the rolled tip, a small lift to her lips and she was dragging back on the green substance that would help her sooth in a night free of terror.. obviously it wasn't a permanent fix but the girl deserved a break..
                          
"I wrote in my diary that I was angry"
                          
She spoke out of no where shocking Lauren slightly as it was the first time she'd ever heard her speak of her feelings without being prompted first, she only turned against the wall looking back at her with a soft reassuring gaze watching the younger drag back on the joint with dipped eyes against the floor
                          
"Because I couldn't do what you asked me, tell you when I was struggling.. I am struggling, I feel like I'm not in my own head and I don't know why because I always have been.. I should be!"
                          
"There is no rule on where your mental health should or shouldn't be Camila! Talking is not the only way to express yourself.. you can write.. draw, some people even sing? It's about finding a way that you find the most helpful!"
                          
"It's funny you talk about singing because I actually wrote a song the other day.. I sing in the shower and I guess I just got carried away"
                          
She giggled softly shocking Lauren having never heard her sing before, the joint now back between her lips dragging back on the sweet tasting mixture with a warming smile, the elder now tugging at her shirt almost begging for her to share
                          
"Sing it! I wanna hear it!"
                          
"You do?"
                          
"Yeah! Come on.. you never told me you could sing either?"
                          
Camila took another drag before leaning back against the wall with a shaking smiling head, her deep breath intriguing Lauren who only folded her arms in anticipation of the voice she wish she'd heard before, the words soon to escape her mouth however ones that would quickly break her heart 
                          
I'm a little bit anxious
Got to figure it out
Bite my lip not to talk about
Tasting blood in my mouth
                          
I don't talk shit about shit I don't know shit about
Clamp my fists, hide the pain but it's all coming out
I didn't ask to be broken 
Tear my tongue rip me open
Because