49

                                    

                                          
Alex's POV:
Breana pressed her cigarette into the ashtray with great force. 
                          
She walked away, sliding shut the glass doors to the back of the villa, and headed back downstairs; to everyone else. 
                          
I was glad that she was gone now. 
                          
That I was alone. 
                          
She had just spent the last ten minutes, or so,  giving me a mouthful about Bella— shocker I know. 
                          
The thing is; she was right about pretty much everything that she said. 
                          
To cut a long story short, she basically told me that I should stop trying to get back with Bella; I should focus on being friends with her and no more. 
                          
It would ensure that I didn't hurt her anymore than I already had, and it was the right thing to do.
                          
But the annoying thing about me is that I don't make the right decisions in life. Quite the contrary actually. 
                          
I'm no fool. I can quite clearly see that I am, indeed, the worst person possible for Bella. I know fine well that it's a selfish decision to keep chasing after her. 
                          
But it's all easier said than done. 
                          
As cheesy as it sounds, and although my past actions do say otherwise; the girl is my world. 
                          
She's my absolute everything. 
                          
I simply do not see any happiness in life without her. Her returning home has only opened up my eyes to that fact, even more so than before. 
                          
So instead of making the right decision and focussing on our friendship, I made a different choice instead— not necessarily a wrong one, but not really a right one either:
                          
I couldn't make myself worthy of her love, that simply isn't possible. 
                          
Nobody is. 
                          
However, I was going to make sure that I was as close to it as I could get. 
                          
Basically, i'm going to sort my shit out. 
                          
She is my main focus. My only focus. 
                          
I just want to make her happy, but with me too. 
                          
Is that wrong though?
                          
You know, I once told Bella that I was going to become a better man for her. 
                          
Unfortunately, I broke that promise. 
                          
Now was the time that I was going to ensure that I repaired that promise. 
                          
I just hoped that it wasn't too late to do so.
                          
I lit myself another cigarette and seated myself on a lounge chair that was sat on the decking. I wasn't in the mood to watch any kind of film and— although I didn't want to feel this way— I wasn't in the mood to talk to any of the guys either. 
                          
It had been like that for a while now. 
                          
The only person that I wanted to talk to was her. I simply wished that she could've just been sat by my side in that moment. 
                          
And that's what lead to my next bad decision:
                          
"Hello?" Bella answered at the other end of the phone. "Is everything alright?"