Chapter 8 - What if it was me?

                                    

                                          
"I do not speak as I think, I do not think as I should, and so it all goes on in helpless darkness."  
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Natalie's POV
"So," I started, breaking the odd uncomfortable silence in the car, "As I expected, you didn't attend our sessions the last week because I kissed you, isn't it?" 
He turned his attention from the road to me, confused at my out of the blue question and my eyebrow raised, calling him out on his bullshit. He said it wasn't the reason yet just an hour ago Alex exposed his lie. 
He just gave me a shrug, like he couldn't bother to even explain it. I shook my head and turned my attention to the window beside me, "You're unbelievable," I mumbled under my breath, "You knew that was part of our fake-date experiment, so there was no need to make a big deal out of it." I was half-telling the truth, half-lying.
As usual, he didn't give me any answer or even a reaction. 
I huffed out an annoyed breath at his lack of words and turned back to him, "If I repel you that much, then why did you kiss me last night?" 
His jaw ticked. 
Oh yeah, I am so playing with fire and yeah, I totally like it. 
His hand tightened over the wheel as his gaze fell on me again, his green eyes narrowed, "It was the only way to shut you up," He said, ever so casually, "You know without me having to break your neck or something." 
Jesus Christ, he keeps threatening to hurt me, and like the fool I am, I am staying at his house, I am in his car, and to add up, I keep triggering him and pushing him right to the edge. 
I am the one with problems, not him. 
"Oh wow," I mumbled lowly, "You're so romantic." 
His gaze was back on the road and he nodded his head, "Yeah, as you can see," He said, not even bothering to look at my side, "I don't do romance." 
It felt like he was hinting at something and indirectly telling me to back away, that whatever this is, it can never stand a chance. 
I lowered my gaze to my lap, my fingers fidgeted with the seatbelt, and again trespassed my limits as I asked, "Still, you didn't give me an answer to my question last night." 
A harsh breath came from his side and the car came to a stop, I looked up to see as we parked a few blocks away from my building. 
I turned to him, still not backing away, "Are you ever planning on giving me an answer?" 
"Natalie, what the hell do you want from me?" He grated out, and his eyes pinned me down with a smoldering gaze. 
"What I wanted from the beginning," I answered, "For you to let me in." 
He scoffed at how silly that thought sounded and he shook his head "Just give up on that already," He said, more like ordered as he shut the engine off. 
He pressed on the glasses compartment and pulled his dark shades out. He placed them on, his hand went to his door and he said, "Let's go." 
He exited the car and I followed. Once I was by his side, his fingers immediately curled over my wrist and pulled me behind him, as if shielding me from any danger surrounding us as his gaze carefully and subtly wandered around. 
"Do you think someone is still here?" I asked, addressing his defensive state. 
"I had my men monitoring the place since last night," Oh wow, his men. He has his own men, that must be cool, "They didn't notice anything suspicious, but you never know," He added, "I don't like surprises, so there is no harm in being extra careful."