twenty-four

                                    

                                          
"honey, we're almost there."
                          
"alright, i just put last-minute essentials in my bag. i'll be ready whenever you get here," karl said into the phone that was resting between his ear and the top of his shoulder. he zipped the suitcase up before pulling it off his bed and resting it on the floor. the phone line went dead as he removed it from the uncomfortable spot and put it in his pants pocket. 
                          
he wasn't sure when it happened, but he had begun to get the motivation to get up and do things he loved and missed. he even went out thrifting the weekend before for new sweaters and jackets to add to his massive collection. his hair was no longer a nest of knots and grease as he had gotten back into his personal hygiene routine. it helped a lot to ease him back into his normal life and out of his depressive slump, no longer feeling gross and sick. he finally got around to doing the massive amount of laundry that had been sitting in his closet for the past month and had just finished packing the freshly laundered clothes into his suitcase for a week-long visit to see his aunt. 
                          
the butterflies in his stomach only made him feel more nervous. 
                          
karl had kept his true reasons for agreeing to go on this vacation in a safe, locked away for anyone in the outside world. he didn't feel like having his parents try to sneak another medication into his food without his consent. as karl began to get a bit happier by the days, his mother had been very happy, to say the least. she thought he was finally coming out of his slump, and coming back into the real world. karl didn't have the heart to tell them the only reason why he was getting better was the small sliver of hope of finding sapnap while he was in texas. 
                          
hope. that's all he had. karl doesn't know why he was putting so much faith into this impossible idea, but he wasn't going to back down from it. 
                          
a ding sounded from his phone indicating that his family was here to get him before they went to the airport. they didn't want to miss the flight, so karl quickly grabbed his backpack and suitcase before running down his stairs and out of his house. he locked the front door before putting the keys back into his pocket and heading down to the car that was waiting for him. he pulled his suitcase behind him with the handle as he saw his father get out and pushed the trunk open for him to put his suitcase in. he situated the suitcase next to his brother's which was pushed up against the left side of the trunk. it was a tight squeeze, but they managed to make it fit before the two males got into the car. 
                          
karl leaned his head against the cool glass of the car window, watching as the north carolina world passed by him. he tried to shut out the intrusive thoughts about sapnap, but a few seeped in anyway. he wondered if sapnap had gotten over him, or if he was still as distraught as karl was. sapnap was stubborn and independent. karl could easily imagine sapnap dusting himself off and moving on with his life, though it pained karl to even think it. it had been a little over two months, which was plenty of time for someone to get over a breakup, right? karl needed to quit reminding himself to stop referring to his situation as a breakup, but that was the easiest way to describe it. chris was the only one that knew the full story, so whenever jimmy asked him what happened. the word breakup left his lips. he didn't know what other words he would even use to describe his situation that he was in. 
                          
what would you call it when you confess your feelings to the love of your life and never saw them again?
                          
trick question.
                          
karl tried to clear his head as they pulled up to the airport. he needed to act normal and unreadable if he wanted to survive this week. he didn't want the parent interrogation again because he knew that it would be worse this time around. 
                          
karl had flown many times in his life, but the airport always made him nervous as overthinking set in and scenarios were imagined up. after being at home for the past few months, the people bumping up against the family made the airport feel more cramped than he remembered. the constant bumping and hot breathing that made it into his personal space made him want to go back home and crawl into bed. just to be alone for a bit. 
                          
if sapnap was here, karl would feel safer and more comfortable. knowing the person sapnap was, he would calm karl down and tell him everything was going to be fine. he wasn't here, so karl is stuck with his family who was currently checking in, and the hundreds of others who milled the airport in search of their own gates. 
                          
they dropped off their luggage and get checked by security, but karl barely processed any of it. he had way too much on his mind that kept him from thinking for himself, and his body just got used to moving on autopilot. they head towards the boarding gate, karl's mom ushering him and his brother along with a "come on boys!" by the time karl realized it, they've already boarded the palne and are ready to take off. he had the window seat, so he sat and absentmindedly watched the few airport workers mill around outside his window. karl let his mind wander as he stared out the window blankly. 
                          
he wanted to believe so desperately that him and sapnap would be brought together again. it had to happen because this was his only chance. what would he do if he actually found sapnap? karl didn't know how he would prove to his parents that it was actually him. if they do find each other, how would they handle the fact that karl would only be there for a week? he would have to go back to raleigh at one point for work and all of his friends were there. if they happen to find each other, there is one thing certain. karl never wanted to lose sapnap again. 
                          
he was nudged out of his thoughts by his brother who was sitting next to him. he looked worried for a moment before his expression morphed into an unreadable one before he spoke. "make sure to buckle up and put your phone on airplane mode."
                          
"got it." 
karl barely registered the voice of the flight attendant who had gotten back on the intercom to say a few last things before takeoff. he fastened his seatbelt and put his phone on airplane mode before leaning back in his seat. karl's eyelids felt heavy as he sat there. he hadn't slept well in a while. he knew that the flight would be short, but an excellent two-hour nap sounded nice. he would just sleep for the first two hours and wake up for the last thirty minutes. when he wakes up, he would be closer to sapnap. karl couldn't help but close his eyes as he became more drowsy.
                          
all the tension in his body soon relaxed as he leaned back into his seat. he finally drifted off to slumber, but his sleep remains dreamless.