Thirty Seven - Wolves

                                    

                                          
Three days after Christmas, Brianna was coming over to Louis' to discuss new custody arrangements to see if they would have to go to court. I was hoping Brianna would agree to letting Louis see Freddie evenly when he wasn't on tour.
Louis didn't want Freddie around if he got angry or yelling started, so I offered to take Freddie out for the afternoon while he and Brianna talked it over. We went out for lunch, spent a couple hours shopping for new clothes for school, and even stopped for ice cream before heading back to the house around 3 o'clock. 
Using my new key, I let myself and Freddie in. The little boy, who I was growing more and more fond of each day, scampered up stairs with Bruce and Clifford, the friendliest dogs in the world, to go play. 
I smiled as I watched him run upstairs before walking into the living room from the foyer with shopping bags in hand full of new clothes for Freddie. My smile dropped from my face the moment I looked up to say hello to my fiancé. Louis had Brianna in his lap, their hands all over each other, kissing like their lives depended on it. I felt my heart shatter in my chest as I dropped the shopping bags on the ground and let out a dry sob.
Louis and Brianna sprang apart, his eyes filling with dread and his jaw dropped. 
"H-how could you?" Was all I could get out.
"Baby, wait! I'm sorry-" Louis' voice cracked as he 
I didn't let him finish, I stormed out of the house in a blind rage. I had given my heart to another man and he had destroyed it just like all the others. I thought Louis was different, but I was wrong. 
"Cassie!" Louis called after me, but before he could reach me I had climbed back into my rental car that I was using while we were in London over the break and sped off down the road. I held back the tears as I called my manager Tom. 
                          
Paul, One Direction's manager, met me in the hotel lobby with my tour suitcase filled with clothes, toiletries, and necessities since Tom was visiting his family in New York over the holidays. "I spoke with Tom on the phone about your contract. I'm really sorry kid, but there's no way we can get you out of the next leg, you're too valuable to the tour. You're going to tour North America, so the bus situation will change again and we can create more separation between you and Louis if you would like."
I nodded and sipped my coffee. "I want a separate bus for just myself. Jack, Mark, and whoever is replacing Katie should get their own bus as well. I'm willing to take it out of my pay if necessary. I will be changing my song line up as well."
"I think we can work it out without dipping into your pay." I had already cried for an hour in my car after calling Tom, who had gotten in touch with Paul. I was exhausted and numb. Paul reached over and patted my knee with a sad smile. "I really am sorry, Cassidy."
"Thank you, Paul." I nodded again, standing up and pulling out the room key I had gotten from the front desk and left Paul in the lobby to head up to my hotel room. 
I hadn't called Katie or my parents yet. I needed a night to myself to try to understand what was happening. Louis had been blowing up my phone since I left. I didn't bother looking at his texts or listening to his voicemails. When I got up to my room, I noticed I was still wearing my engagement ring. I didn't have any more tears to let slip, and instead, in a dead pan, pulled off the ring and placed it on the nightstand. 
I spent the rest of the day wrapped in blankets and watching mind-numbing television. Eventually, I cried myself to sleep. When I woke up, I called Katie and cried. Then I called my mom and dad and cried some more. I cried all day staring at the ring sitting on the nightstand, watching my phone ring constantly between Tom, Louis, Harry, Niall, Katie, and my parents. Katie and Niall graciously opened their home to me, but I couldn't stand to be near anyone yet. 
I took a late flight to Miami and my parents picked up to spend the rest of my break at home with them. I visited with my extended family and turned my personal phone off for the rest of the break. Only Tom and the management team had my work phone number, and Katie would call my mom to check in on me every day.

                          
The North American tour required more rehearsals just like at the beginning of the European tour. My new song line-up was: Price Tag, So Am I, Shower, Sweet but Psycho, and finally my newest single that I had written over the break: Someone You Loved. My team announced Louis & I's separation as if it had been a mutual decision and it killed me. It killed me that I still loved the man that had shattered my already fragile heart. 
I stayed away from Louis and the rest of One Direction as much as possible. Katie was being left behind in Miami with her family because of her high-risk pregnancy. Niall was heartbroken leaving her, but knew it was necessary, and she promised to see him when they came to Miami when they had a few days between shows. 
Management replaced Katie with my new guitarist named Max. He and the other band members got along great and he was a super talented guitarist, but I still missed having my best friend on tour with me. 
At the first show, there was no big fanfare before I took the stage. The lights all went dark and I made my way to my piano in the darkness as my band took their places. 
I began to play and the crowd screamed in excitement. 
"I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to save me,
This all or nothing really driving me crazy,"
The piano keys sang through the largely quiet stadium, but I was astonished to hear thousands of voices singing along with me in the dark, the single had only dropped the day before but it seemed that everyone knew the lyrics as well as I did.
"I need somebody to heal, somebody to know,
It's easy to say, but it's never the same,
I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain,
Now the day bleeds into nightfall, 
And you're not here to get me through it all,
I let my guard down and then you pulled the rug,"
I poured my soul into this performance, tears threatening to fall down my cheeks, but my voice never wavering. 
"I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved..."
I never could have expected what happened once I finished the song. The lights of the stadium went back to normal and I was able to see some of the signs in the first few rows. One read: "Stay Strong Cassidy!" with a Rosie the Riveter painted next to it. Another read: "Cheaters Never Win!" with the queen chess piece. "Apologize Louis!", "Take him back!", "Don't let Louis break your heart!", "Louis Miss(es) You!", "It was Always You, Cassidy" posters were scattered across the pit.
I was somehow able to finish my performance without breaking down, but once I got back stage again, Louis was standing there with his band smiling and laughing getting ready to take the stage. Our eyes met but I quickly glued my eyes to the ground to walk back to my dressing room. I heard Harry and Niall calling praises of my performance after me before I shut the door and began to sob.