Chapter 12: Tsukishima: Only in My Dreams

                                    

                                          


                          
She's so beautiful.  Her eyes are like sapphires sparkling in the light of the Full Moon.  They look at me with such intensity, such love.  Her strawberry blonde hair shimmers, falling all around her shoulders as I undo the ties she uses to bind it up.
                          
Her skin is so soft on my hands.  I cup her lovely face, pulling it towards my own, bringing our lips together.  She smells like roses.
                          
Now our tongues are tangling as the kiss becomes more passionate.  She tastes both sweet and spicy...a curious mix of honey and hot peppers.  Her hands slip up under my shirt to stroke the skin of my back.  My hands wander down her jawline, her neck, and then begin to undo the buttons of her white shirt.  My mouth follows the path my hands took, kissing, licking, teasing, tasting. She moans my name softly, so seductive.
                          
As I kiss gently into the décolletage created by her bra as I remove her shirt, her hands slide down under the waistbands of my pants and shorts.  She grabs my ass firmly with both hands and pushes our hips together, grinding herself against the bulge in my pants.  I moan and crush my lips against hers again as I...
                          
I sit bolt upright in bed, panting, sweating, my body shaking as it finishes its release.  
                          
Ugh, I can't believe this.  Not that I haven't had this kind of dream before.  I mean, it's not an unusual thing for guys my age.  It's not the fact that it was that kind of dream that upsets me.
                          
It's that for the first time, I've had that kind of dream about someone I actually know.
                          
I've just had a wet dream about Ogawa Nakano.
                          
Well, I can't deny it to myself anymore.  My body has just let me know in no uncertain terms that I am very much attracted to her.  I guess I already knew that...I just didn't really want to admit it to myself.  The thought of being in love with someone terrifies me.  I know I've been in denial about this for a while now.  But I can't ignore it anymore.
                          
Mostly because, even after all that, my body isn't finished.
                          
Running my hands through my hair and groaning, I get up and make my way to the shower to finish off what my dreams started.  
                          
🏐🏐🏐
                          
It's Thursday today, and Nakano works out in the storage room on Thursdays.  She ate very quickly today, and left Yamaguchi and I to go do her exercises.  I think she's been working out more in the days since the kissing incident.  I wonder if that's how she's dealing with frustration.  Frustration over me, because I haven't been able to give her any kind of answer. 
                          
"Yamaguchi, what am I gonna do?" Tadashi and I are sitting under a tree not too far from the gym, eating our lunches.  I can't take it anymore, I need to talk to someone about this.  And I am so not ready to talk to Nakano.
                          
"Tsukki, I don't think I'm the one you should be talking to."
                          
"I can't talk to her yet, Tadashi.  Every time I think I might try...I...I can't."
                          
"Why not?  You're friends.  Just tell her how you feel."
                          
"You say that like it's so damn simple."
                          
"Well...because...it kind of...is?"  He's looking at me like I'm an idiot.  Pfft, maybe I am.
                          
"Have you ever been in love with someone, Tadashi?"  He's turned into a tomato.  All he can do is shake his head no.  "Then maybe you shouldn't be telling me how simple it is."
                          
"Are you in love with Nakano, then?" 
                          
"I don't know!  Maybe?"  I'm lying.  I am.  I know I am.  The problem is not that I don't know.  The problem is that I do know, and it terrifies me.