My darling

                                    

                                          
(WinterWidow. Ignore that Nat can't get pregnant)
                          
BUCKY'S POV: 
                          
"James." Natasha says shaking me awake, "James. Wake up!" She says urgently and I open my eyes. 
                          
"What is it Tasha?" I ask groggily. "It's the middle of the night." 
                          
"Something is not right." She says. "I'm going to turn on the light." She warns and I shield my eyes. "Oh my god!" She shrieks and I turn towards her. All around her our white sheets are covered in blood. Her pajama shorts are no longer light blue and are soaked in blood. 
                          
"Oh my god!" I echo her and fling the sheets off. She groans and falls back onto the pillow, clutching her swollen abdomen. 
                          
"James." She whimpers and I've never heard her sound this scared. "It hurts." 
                          
"Okay," I say, running over to the other side of the bed. I grab a blanket and wrap her in it, picking her up and carrying her out the door. "I'm taking you to the hospital." 
                          
She groans again and buries her head in my chest. I open the car door and carefully place her in the backseat. She curls up into a tiny ball and lets out a cry of pain. I speed off to the hospital, our car silent except for her whimpers of pain. 
                          
"James..." she whispers. "The baby." 
                          
"I know darling." I say quickly. "That's why I'm taking you to the hospital." 
                          
"It hurts." She cries out and "I feel like-" she cuts herself off with a wave of tears and the only thing I can do is keep driving. 
                          
"We're almost there darling." I say as I pull off the highway. I pull up to the hospital and jump out. There's almost no one I the emergency room, which is good and they immediately admit her. 
                          
"She's lost a lot of blood!" I hear a doctor yell to a nurse and one of them turns to me. 
                          
"We have to take her into surgery because she's pregnant. How far along is she?" The nurse asks and I nod. 
                          
"Almost seven months." I respond and she nods, running into the surgery room. I collapse onto one of the chairs putting my forehead in my hands. 
                          
"Mr Barnes?" A different nurse, or doctor, I'm not sure, asks. "I'm not saying it will come down to this, but if it does, and we can only save the baby's life or your girlfriend's life," Usually I would correct her, saying that Natasha's my fiancé, not my girlfriend, but I don't care about those titles right now, "who should we prioritize?" She asks. I take a deep breath, "You can have a couple minutes to think about it." She says and goes back into the room. 
                          
Who do you want to save? I ask myself. Who do you want to save... Natasha's had a life, it would have been pretty short, only about 35 years, but she's lived. But if the baby lived and Nat didn't, I'd have to raise a kid on my own. I don't know... I must have zoned out because suddenly the same nurse was in front of me again. 
                          
"Who do you want to save?" She asks again. 
                          
"The baby." I blurt out. "Save the baby." 
                          
"Okay." She says quietly and leaves me alone. I need to have someone. Someone I trust. 
                          
My finger taps on my favorites list. Natasha on the top, followed by Steve, Sam, T'Challa, and Clint. I hover over Steve's number before ultimately choosing Sam. 
                          
On the third ring he picks up. "Hey Bucky." He says. "What's up?" 
                          
"I- I-" I stumble over my words. "Just come to the hospital. Don't tell anyone where you're going. Bring Steve." I say and breath out deeply.
                          
"Okay, we'll be right over." He says. "Is it Natasha?" he asks. 
                          
"Yeah." I choke out. "I'll explain when you get here but please hurry." I beg.
                          
"Okay." He says and I can tell he's walking around. "I'll see you soon." He says and hangs up. 
                          
"Mr Barnes?" A nurse says and I look up. "Your baby is probably going to be okay, but she's in the NICU. I take you to see her if you want to?" She offers and I nod. She leads me down the undistinguishable while hospital halls and I wipe away some of my tears. She leads me into a room where I see a little girl with a small tuft of red hair attached to a bunch of machines. 
                          
That's my daughter. I think. This should be a happy moment, a moment I should be sharing with Natasha. There's a steady beeping of her heartbeat which is the only bit of news that isn't going to make me cry. But it still breaks my heart that I can't even hold her. I just stare at her for a little bit longer and I step out of the room and the nurse leads me back to where Natasha is. 
                          
I tap my metal finger against the palm of my right hand, something I've noticed I do when I'm nervous. "Bucky?" I hear someone ask and I look up. 
                          
"Hey Sam." I say. "Hey Steve." I must look like a train wreck. My hair is probably all messed up, and I know my eyes are red and irritated from all the crying. They take the seats on both sides of me and Sam gives me a half hug, and I know they're both giving me pitying looks. 
                          
"I thought she was fine." I whisper. "She was just complaining of mild stomach cramps then she was bleeding out." I say and they both look at me weirdly. 
                          
"What happened?" Steve asks. 
                          
"She woke me up around 4 and she was bleeding and she had the cramps she had all yesterday evening, but much worse. I drove her here and they immediately took her in for surgery, you know, because she was pregnant, and-" I let out a shaky breath. "They asked me who I wanted to save. Her or our daughter." I say. 
                          
"So who'd you chose?" Sam asks, and I completely forgot we were trying to keep the gender a secret. 
                          
"The baby." I choke out and he hugs me. "I figured that if I chose Nat and she lived, but the baby didn't, she would be heartbroken. And if she found out that I chose her over the baby, I don't think she would've ever forgiven me." 
                          
"It's okay." Steve says, taking a turn holding me in his arms. "She's going to be okay." 
                          
"Don't say that. You don't know that." I say sharply. 
                          
"Bucky's right." Sam says. "We don't know that. But we do know that Natasha's a fighter, and that she'll do anything for you." He says. 
                          
"I wasn't even allowed to hold my daughter." I say and they both give me pitying looks. No one says anything for a bit before Steve speaks up. 
                          
"Hey Bucky. I'm going to help you if Natasha doesn't make it." I try to ignore his words, 'if Natasha doesn't make it.' They make me sick. 
                          
"She has to." I whisper. "Because I don't know what I'm going to do if she doesn't."
                          
—x—x—x—x—
                          
Part 2 anyone? If there is a part 2, it'll be called my star
                          
❤️❤️❤️
Chloe