6;

                                    

                                          
Sapnap's POV
                          
TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF SELF-HARM. I WILL PUT A NOTICE WHERE IT STARTS AND WHERE IT ENDS, AND SUMMARIZE IT IN AN A/N AT THE END OF THE CHAPTER.
                          
"my soulmate wrote to me!"
                          
i feel my heart raise in excitement, like everyone else's in the room, and i bounce up quickly to George's side. Bad clicks on a lamp as we all crowd around him, reading and rereading the words as if they would never appear again. practically glowing against his starch white skin, emblemed in spidery scrawls, is 5 words that we all hope for every day of our lives. 
                          
"hi. i am your soulmate." Bad reads out. Skeppy laughs and ruffles George's hair as if to congratulate him. i cant help but smile. 
                          
my man's gonna get a girl!
                          
"i cant believe it, they actually.. they actually wrote to me!" George exclaims. it's so cute how you can hear the smile in his voice. he runs his thumb over the words, giggling lightly. we all give him congratulations and tell him how happy we are for him. my mind swirls and collides numbly, no emotions or defined thoughts. 
                          
it's fine. they'll write to me some day. maybe they're younger than me, or they just don't have the time to write to me. but i can wait. i'd wait for however long it takes. 
                          
everyone settles back down on the carpet, but Tommy stays hovering over George's shoulder like a parrot. his eyes are wide and sparkling like some sort of anime character. 
                          
"write back, what are you waiting for? you're so stupid!" he half-yells, half-laughs. Techno sighs and resumes the movie to attempt to drown out annoying little Tommy.
                          
"i'd need a pen, TommyIdiot." George says quieter. Tommy's nose wrinkles at the play-on-words, but nonetheless digs around Technoblade's basement for a writing utensil of any description.
                          
i shake my head slightly and turn back to the movie. Wren scurries through the library in search of help and shelter as sounds surround her and press in on her skull. she screams a guttural scream. Karl jumps a little and sucks in his breath through his mouth.
                          
Tommy scrambles back to George's side and drops a blue pen in his lap. "there! write! now!"
                          
will George actually write to his soulmate? is he ever that outgoing or confident? usually he plans every movement, every syllable, every glance and sign of emotion. he overthinks and overanalyzes everything. he genuinely uses his brain.
                          
"..fine. i'll say hi back." George says slowly, clicking his tongue and uncapping the pen with his teeth. he squeezes it tight and hovers over the empty canvas of his arm.
                          
[A/N: LMFAOAOAOA HEAT WAVES IS PLAYING SBFHJBJDNSK]
                          
"come on, you wimp! do it already!" Skeppy whines like an annoying puppy. his giant head of hair bobs up and down as he bounces on the spot. George rolls his eyes and huffs, finally setting the pen down on his skin.
                          
after a minute, we all are looking at him with anticipation. he sets down the pen with a deep breath and looks up, clueless. "what?"
                          
"oh my god, what did you say? jesus, dude, we're all waiting!" i burst. Dream chuckles softly beside me. the shakiness in his voice makes the hairs on my arms stand up.. something is wrong. i give him a quick side glance filled with suspicion, but don't linger on it too long.
                          
"jeez, okay! i said 'hi. this is your soulmate, as well'." 
                          
Techno gives him a little 'tsk' and shakes his head. "dry. you should see my sou- sister. poetic as hell." Fundy quirks an eyebrow, smirking at Techno's stutter. what drama, wow.
                          
eventually, everyone falls back into the plot of the movie after a scream from Hallie. my muscles are still tense from Dream's weird aura.
                          
i'm contemplating pulling him aside, maybe pushing him to confess to whatever the hell gives him this strange aura. but if he doesn't tell me, or does and brings attention to us, it could pull everyone into more drama.
                          
i glance at Dream from the side of my eye, weighing my options. chewing the inside of my lip, i decide.. i'll ask him.
                          
i gulp and lean towards Dream, whispering softly. "hey, can i talk to you for a moment? upstairs?" his face turns quizzical and he tilts his head, but nods and quietly stands. we both trail lightly upstairs and into the front hallway. he stands across from me, shadows from the dusty gray night cast across his stone face.
                          
"something's up. tell me." i say right off the bat. might as well cut the shit. he raises his gaze to meet mine, his lips slightly parted. i grimace with a look of 'well?'
                          
instead of words, which seem to stop at his cold, quivering lips, he raises his right arm and hooks his fingers under his sleeve, hiking it up.
                          
midnight black ink is scrawled across his wrist. words, familiar words, the same ones that made us so elated for George just a couple minutes ago. the words that made him finally have hope for a soulmate.
                          
we both look at his wrist, tracing the words and the letters and the curves of the handwriting. my mouth maintains agape, analyzing the every word. it matches George's exactly. this is a coincidence, right? that combination of words could be so common. they couldn't actually be soulmates. not actually.
                          
"Nick." he whispers softly, his words drifting through the tense air between us. i look up from his arm up to his sad evergreen eyes. 
                          
"you.. and George?" i say slowly, choosing my words as George would. a sharp, sinking pain in my heart settles in as i realize the situation.
                          
"yeah. me and George. soulmates." 
                          
the final word hangs between us painfully. i swallow my anxiety and look down at my shaking hands.
                          
"you- you can't tell him. i can't have more friends breaking up like this. these stupid soulmates, they tear us apart. i can't choose between you two." i whisper quickly. 
                          
Dream grabs my forearms gently, forcing me to meet his stare. "i'm not going to let it tear me and George apart. i just.. i needed to show someone."
                          
i nod, biting my tongue until i'm sure i taste metallic blood.
                          
~~~

(the next day)
                          
TRIGGER WARNING STARTS HERE
                          
tears track silently down my face, painting my jaw with freezing, salty water. they drop silently into my lap, staining my sweats.
                          
i stare down at my arms, sleeves rolled up, as more and more slow, red cuts trace my wrists. they don't hurt, not at all, but i know why they're there. cuts. impulsive and emotional and deep. bright red and jagged and terrible.
                          
who is this? why are they doing this? is it because of me? the first message i get from my soulmate, and it's not even words, just the gory image of cuts all over my arms.
                          
"please.." i whisper. "stop.."
                          
more tears fall onto my arms, staining my skin like my soulmate has now. i can barely control my hands as i attempt to unzip my old pack of markers. if this is how terrible i feel.. i can't imagine what's happening to them.
                          
i take a random marker, blue i think, and trace a little flower over the scars, the feel of the cool ink on my skin almost soothing. i draw flowers, everywhere, all over the cuts, until the redness of the cuts just look like stems to my flowers. i take another marker and write three words over and over again, muttering them as i do.
                          
"i love you. i love you. i love you." i whisper.
                          
~~~
                          
END OF THE TRIGGER WARNING
                          
EXPLANATION: SAPNAP'S SOULMATE HARMS HIMSELF AND CAUSES SAPNAP TO CRY. SAPNAP DRAWS FLOWERS AND THE PHRASE 'I LOVE YOU' OVER AND OVER ALL OVER THE PLACES WHERE HIS SOULMATE HARMS.
                          
stay safe. i love you guys thx for reading <3