One step at a time

                                    

                                          


                          
"You're both being stupid." Sirius once told me as he helped me get two drunks out through the back door of the inn. They were the last ones left and there was no one to see him. "You both love each other, why do you have to go through all this drama? "
                          
"Because he's a self-pitying stubborn fool. I can't have a relationship with someone who is in a constant struggle with himself and the opportunity to be happy.
                          
"And the solution is to avoid and ignore each other..." He growled as he looked around for anyone.
                          
"Unfortunately, along with the Order and this place I can not completely avoid him. And I don't want our separation to affect your friendship. "
                          
"You understand that I can't talk normally to you and him and pretend that nothing happened."
                          
"Maybe we need time and we'll both forget." I sighed, trying to lie to myself.
                          
"It's been a few months, Merlin's beard! You both look more and more unhappy with each passing day. " Sirius told me angrily.
                          
"What are you expecting of me? To be fascinated by the fact that he sees no future in our relationship? "
                          
"Maybe you pressed him a little about the marriage thing."
                          
"Don't take his side," I shouted angrily. " It was not a question of marriage at the moment. I just wanted to know that this relationship would develop. Not necessarily at the moment. What? Should I have jumped for joy that he had absolutely no plans? "
                          
"He is so used to it, the lycanthropy forces him to live day by day. "
                          
"I knew you would take his side! Male solidarity! Great! "I shouted, feeling my whole face burn. "He was the initiator of this relationship in the beginning! Obviously, even then he had no serious intentions towards me! Thanks, but I don't want to be someone's fad. I better be alone! "
                          
I lied. I tried to lie myself. Several months had passed since our break-up with Remus, and with each passing day, I felt more and more overwhelmed. There was, in fact, only pain and despair behind my apparent confidence in my decision. Road without exit. I cried when no one was looking at me. My pain was grief that comes in waves, grueling, stealing appetite, and sleep alike. It was a sharp stone in my guts that never leaves, though perhaps in time the edges will dull. What was once whole was shattered; where once was peace was emptiness, echoes of love I put my everything into.
                          
I tried to distract myself, spending all my time in the tavern, taking extra shifts in front of the Mystery Department. But the moment I was left alone, the memories enveloped me and broke my heart to pieces. I dreamed of being in his arms again, of kissing him again. But I knew I couldn't do it again. I owed it to myself. If he didn't see a future in our relationship, I shouldn't either.
                          
***
                          
"It won't work. Everything I try, in fact, turns out to have already been done by someone and was unsuccessful. " Chiara sighed and leaned back in her chair. I helped her with my knowledge of transfiguration on her research to find cheaper ways to alleviate lycanthropy. I looked at her. She looks pale and sick.
                          
"Did you drink your potion?" I asked her. The full moon was a day apart. My heart sank at the thought that somewhere Remus was suffering just as much as she was.
                          
"Yes." She said casually. "Explain to me the Gamp's Law again."
                          
"Gamp's Law of Elemental Transfiguration is a magical law which dictates the rules of Transfiguration. There are five Principal Exceptions to Gamp's Law. In our case, I think we are interested in thе 3rd one, which states that you could not transfigure something that was cursed. "