Deal

                                    

                                          

You don't feel you've been out for very long, and like deja vu, when you do wake, you can hear people talking again in low and urgent voices. 
They aren't in the room, but somewhere out in the corridor. 
You strain to listen.
"I don't understand, how could she do that to herself?" Someone sounds upset, probably Yaz.
"Doctor what do we do? How do we help her?" Someone slightly panicked, Jenny then?
"I don't know. I really thought she was getting better..." The Doctor trails off helplessly.
"How did she even get the scalpel?" Asks Yaz quietly after some silence.
"She must have taken it from the store cupboard. Maybe picked the lock. She can be crafty when she wants to be. They warned me when I visited her in the ward that she could usually achieve what she wanted, when she wanted" 
No response. 
Not you, Yaz or Jenny know what to make of that. You didn't realise they had told The Doctor half this stuff.
"We have to keep a closer eye on her, I won't let her out of my sight from now on." Jenny suddenly bursts out almost angrily.
"I don't think that will work" responds The Doctor thoughtfully "I was more thinking therapy..." you don't hear what she says after that, beginning to silently hyperventilate. 
They were going to send you back. Back to the ward, where you spent four years confined with someone watching your every move and a total lack of independence.
You slide off the bed soundlessly and pad quietly to the door. 
It is ajar, and you lean your head round, desperate to escape. To your relief they are quite far down, and if you were quick the surely wouldn't notice you leave. 
Pulling your dressing gown around you, you slip out the door and sprint round a corner, wheezing and catching your breath, head fuzzy already. 
You were half expecting shouts to follow you but you've been lucky. You plan to leave the Tardis and escape first chance you get, and if you're right it should be right round this corner- nope. 
You are met with a wall. 
You frown and turn, pulling off into a corresponding corridor and finding it blocked again. Frustrated you take three lefts, knowing one should take you into the console room. 
Another wall. 
"For gods sake I know what you're doing" you whisper shout at The Tardis who thrums sympathetically but doesn't let you out.
"Please I need to leave, they're going to send me back" you say, voice breaking. 
You feel the wall beneath your hands warm up, but you're not in the mood for pity. It is then that you begin to hear them.
"(Y/n)? (Y/N)! Where are you?" It's Jenny and you force yourself to run in the opposite direction of her voice. 
It hurts much more than you would expect. 
You run full tilt the length of the corridor until you meet another dead end.
"NO!" You shriek then cover your mouth, releasing too late you shouldn't have given away your position.
"LET ME OUT! LET ME THROUGH RIGHT NOW! You can't do this to me!" You sob, back sliding down the wall. 
Unexpectedly, a door opens just behind you and you don't hesitate to fling yourself through. 
It takes you a minute to recognise where you are, and when you do an unnatural calm settles over you. 
You are back in the library where The Doctor told you about her past. 
Your breathing has slowed but you are mentally and physically exhausted. 
You spot a comfortable maroon couch that definitely wasn't here before hidden between two shelves. Sighing, you shake  your head at the Tardis but she's right, you should really rest after all that exertion. 
You curl up and close your eyes, denying yourself the thought that this was how you were spending your last precious few hours on the Tardis.
                              *            *              *
"Is this really necessary?" Someone whispers from far away.
"We can't let her go again Jenny, it's more serious than you would think." Someone else mutters, and you are aware that you are swaying slightly.
"So where was she?"
"The library of course, I think it calms her, she likes all the books." 
You would have agreed if you weren't A-semiconscious B- unable to form words and C- being carried by The Doctor... your eyes fly open and you don't hesitate to try and break free.
"Doctor!" Jenny shouts in alarm, but The Doctor is sure in her grip of you and besides, your hands and ankles are tied together with zip ties. You try to scream but your mouth is gagged. 
It doesn't stop the feral snarl escaping from your throat.
"I'm sorry (Y/n) I'm so sorry but it's necessary." Apologises The Doctor carefully. 
You stay still long enough to see you are being carried steadily down a Tardis corridor and that you are once again in The Doctor's strong and capable arms. 
You struggle again but the time lady barely moves, only adjusting you slightly before continuing in her steady progress. 
You try a different tack, suddenly convulsing then falling limp.
"Oh my god Doctor is she ok?" Breathes Jenny.
"She's fine" replies The Doctor curtly and you open your eyes to roll them at her. 
There's just no fooling a Time Lady. 
She grins at you with raised eyebrows, clearly telling you nice try. 
You scowl but don't bother struggling anymore. You truly give up, ready to succumb to your fate. Jenny holds open the medbay door and The Doctor carries you methodically in then gently lays you on the floor. 
She points her sonic at the sets of zip ties and they break easily. 
You free your hands and yank out the gag, watching Jenny lock the door behind her as she exits. You freeze.
"Calm down (Y/n) you're safe now"
It's your turn to raise your eyebrows at her and she smiles wearily.
"I'm sorry but if you will run off when you're seriously ill and scare the living daylights out of us, certain measures must be taken." She pauses, taking in your kneeling form.
"Now, are you ok?" She says more softly.
"You can't send me back" you growl, sharper than intended. The Doctor looks surprised.
"Back where?" she seems genuinely puzzled.
"To the ward, I heard you talking, you want me to go back there and get therapy" you say quietly.
"No (Y/n), that's not what I meant at all. I meant therapy with me, but we have to make a deal. If you will try therapy with me, and agree to try hard at recovering your mental health, you may stay. If however, you become too much of a danger to yourself, I will have no choice but to return you to the safety and watchful eye of the ward. Deal?"
You hesitate, but really there is only one choice.
"Deal".