nine

                                    

                                          
|zee|
                          
|june first, two thousand and eighteen|
                          
"here," kat mumbled so only i could hear, dropping two small, white pills into the palm of my hand.
                          
i immediately smiled, throwing the narcotics back and chasing them with the vodka-tonic sitting on the bar in front of me. the alcohol had already taken over my system, warming my body and easing the anxiety in my mind.
                          
it didn't take very long for the effects of the drugs to hit me, overwhelming my senses in the best way possible. i downed the rest of the beverage in front of me before grabbing kat's hand and pulling her to floor filled with sweaty bodies and drunk college students.
                          
it was just kat and i tonight, arzaylea was unable to make it. i was secretly thankful for it.
                          
kat and i danced together, both of us high out of our minds but easily able to hide it from any suspicious beings. a tight red dress hugged my body, leaving very little to the imagination. i'd opted for comfier shoes tonight- a pair of clean, black vans clad on my feet.
                          
there was truly no better feeling than dancing in a club. it was easy to forget about all of my outside problems and just let everything go. it was very freeing, and i was always pissed when i had to leave and go back to my normal life.
                          
after some time, i could sense the presence of a man behind me, and turned to dance with him. i'd unintentionally left katrina to dance on her own, (or, rather, find a new partner).
                          
"i've been watching you dance," the man spoke loudly over the music. his hands were planted firmly on my hips, keeping my body pressed against his, "you look very hot tonight, babe."
                          
"thanks," i smiled lazily, the drugs in full effect as i held onto his shoulders. my heavy eyes took in his appearance. he wasn't the most attractive man i'd ever seen, but he wasn't bad. it couldn't hurt to dance with him for a bit. maybe that was just the drugs talking.
                          
"we should get out of here, yeah?" his body never stopped moving against mine as he spoke. i had zero intention of leaving with him. as i'd said, he wasn't the hottest man in the room.
                          
"can't leave my friend," i shouted over the music, shrugging. the majority of my attention was on my dancing, as it became difficult to multitask from the waves of euphoria washing over me with the drugs.
                          
"ah, we won't be gone long," a smirk rested on the mans lips as he spoke. i didn't like his tone at all, but i was far too intoxicated to even think about starting an argument.
                          
"no thanks-" i shut my eyes, my head lolling back, "i don't do hookups."
                          
except for the couple of times with you-know-who.
                          
"come on, babe," his voice was whiny, and starting to irritate me even more.
                          
"i said no thanks!" i worked up the courage to push his hands from my waist before turning to head back to the bar and get another drink.
                          
his hand caught my wrist in a tight grip before i could place enough distance between the two of us. he tugged me back to him harshly, causing me to stumble over my feet and nearly fall.
                          
"it really won't be long, sweetheart." a fake smile replaced the smirk as the pet name rolled off his lips.
                          
i scoffed, struggling to pull my arm away from him, "let go of-"
                          
"she said no thanks, asshole!"
                          
my heavy eyelids shot open quickly as a head of platinum blond hair came between the man and i. my wrist was held in his hand, now, as my intoxicated mind struggled to comprehend what was happening.
                          
the man backed off once he noticed the height difference between himself and the guy now holding onto me.
                          
as soon as he turned around and i realized it was michael who had interrupted, a swarm of anger built in my body before i yanked my wrist away and stormed back to the bar.
                          
"a vodka-tonic," i told the bartender, setting a ten dollar bill in front of me. i pulled myself onto one of the tall stools, my finger tapping against the marble bar as i waited impatiently for my drink.
                          
was he fucking stalking me?
                          
he really thought i needed his help? i didn't need michael fucking babysitting me.
                          
"zee-"
                          
"are you all just fucking stalking me now?" i snapped my head in michael's direction as i spoke, clenching my jaw harshly.
                          
he clearly wasn't expecting my reaction as he stood dumbfounded in front of me for a few moments. i used the pause in conversation to pick up the drink the employee had set in front of me, taking a few large sips.
                          
michael finally spoke up, "you just need to talk to us-"
                          
"how did you even fucking know i was here?!" i cut him off once more, another sip of the drink in front of me gliding down my throat.
                          
"you posted on instagram. clearly it's a good thing i came." a mixture of concern and slight cockiness was evident in his voice, and i rolled my eyes. he really thought he'd done something by coming and playing the hero.
                          
"sounds like fan activity to me." i scoffed, internally applauding myself for the quick comeback. i finished the rest of the drink before sliding the empty glass to the back edge of the bar. i wasted no time in jumping down from the stool, stepping around michael, and shoving my way outside.
                          
i knew he was following me, though i chose to ignore it. i stepped into the breezy night air of the packed parking lot. it was a nice night, though the mixture of narcotics and alcohol and anger made it difficult for me to focus on the beauty.
                          
"zee, would you just fucking talk to me!" michael yelled as he finally made it outside.
                          
i stopped dead in my tracks. i didn't move for a few seconds and based on the lack of footsteps approaching, i knew he was standing in place as well, likely only a few yards behind me.
                          
i was grateful that there weren't many people in the parking lot with us, because i really didn't want to have an argument with michael in front of an audience, and i knew that's where we were heading- an argument.
                          
"what could you possibly have to say to me, huh?" i turned to face him, "you haven't had a conversation with me in damn near four years, michael! so what the fuck do you have to say to me now?" by that point, i was standing only a couple feet in front of him, having taken a few strides forward as i spoke. tears were building behind my eyes but i kept the emotions buried, as usual.
                          
there was nothing michael could say to me that would fix the broken friendship we had. he'd messed it up a long time ago, and like i'd said many times before, it was his job to fix it.
                          
i watched as michael's eyes flicked between each of mine. he was trying so hard to read the mixture of intense emotions that were flooding my mind right now. it was silent for a few moments.
                          
"jesus, zee-" he finally spoke, stepping forwards quickly. i didn't have enough time to back away before both of his hands reached up and grabbed either side of my face. "are you high?"
                          
i scoffed, shoving him away and walking towards the sidewalk which ran along the luckily well-lit road. he had the audacity to ask if i was high? as if it were any of his goddamn business.
                          
"zee, wait!" he was following me again, his pace matching mine. his tone sounded apologetic; he knew he chose the wrong words to speak to me.
                          
"four years and that's what you want to say to me? fuck off." i threw the finger up at him, never turning around. i pulled my phone from my bra to order an uber home. his footsteps stopped for a moment, before they began to fade away.
                          
by that point, i'd sobered up almost entirely. he'd ruined my high and all i really wanted was to crawl in bed and sleep for twelve hours straight. and as soon as i made it home, that's exactly what i was going to do.
                          
|edited 02/27/2021|