Nos Désirs Changent

                                    

                                          
CW: fairly non-graphic descriptions of sexual assault- skip if this will be triggering for you, and remember what i said in the disclaimer!
                          
𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁
                          
May 15, 1994
                          
Elodie had been avoiding Fred like her life depended on it. Well, what was she supposed to say? "Hi Freddie, would you mind not disclosing the fact that I'm madly in love with you to my boyfriend who you absolutely hate?"
                          
No. Evading him was easier. 
                          
She clung to Forrest and Maura like glue for the next couple of weeks, which had actually been rather pleasant. She was pretty sure she passed her charms exam, and since NEWTs came the week before OWLs did, Forrest was completely free. 
                          
They didn't talk, all that much-Forrest was generally a pretty reserved person, but Elodie found him and Maura got on quite well, as did Iris. The four of them became a little cohort for the late spring weeks, as Forrest didn't go anywhere without Elodie, and Maura didn't go anywhere without Iris. 
                          
It was a bright May afternoon, sun shining down from the stained glass windows of the library. Elodie sat in Forrest's lap as they read a book together, Maura and Iris leaning against the bookshelf opposite them, hands interwoven. 
                          
"We believe that we can change the things around us in accordance with our desires." Elodie read softly out of 'In Search of Lost Time', just loud enough so Forrest could hear. 
                          
She had originally stolen the French version off her mother's bedside table when she was young and tried to read through it, without much luck. Looking back, Elodie thought the words sounded more beautiful in alluring French. 
                          
"We do not think of the outcome which generally comes to pass and is also favorable: we do not succeed in changing things in accordance with our desires, but gradually, our desires change."
                          
She stared down at the paragraph for a second too long. Was it possible that the words rang true? That one day, she would succeed in getting over Fred, and just be happy with what she had? Would her desires change?
                          
"Nos désirs changent." Elodie whispered. 
                          
Forrest glanced at her in surprise. "You speak French?"
                          
Elodie laughed, slightly embarrassed. "Not really. My Mum's from Corsica."
                          
"You never talk about her." He muttered.
                          
Elodie stared at her shoes, racking her brain for a way to get out of this conversation. 
                          
"What happened?" Forrest pressed on. "Why don't you live with her anymore?" 
                          
"She kicked me out, I told you." Elodie mumbled. 
                          
"Yeah, but why?" 
                          
Elodie sat up, closing the book. Her expression was fixed into a glare, though she wasn't angry- perhaps a little unnerved. 
                          
"Come on, you have to tell me these things, doll." Forrest put a hand on her shoulder. Iris and Maura glanced up at her worriedly. They were probably expecting a fight.
                          
"Can we just-go somewhere quiet for a moment?" Elodie asked. She led Forrest into the next section over, pulling her knees to her chest on the cushion of a bay window. Elodie stared out of the glass intently, avoiding Forests eye. You have to tell him.
                          
"We never got on, alright?" Elodie said quietly. 
                          
You owe this to Forrest, She told herself. You have so many secrets, just tell him this one thing.