27| mistake part 1.

                                    

                                          


"Blaze, tell me where you were? What you were doing out there? Think about the baby!"
                          
Kylo's voice sounded so loud and rough and it made the room shake. He was angry at you, there was no reason not to after what you'd done. 
                          
"I- I." Was all you could get out before your third round of tears came over you that evening.
                          
This was not how you'd planned the day to go at all. It was all a mess, a disaster and there was no way in fixing it turning anything around. What was done was know not going to change and you felt ashamed at your own actions. 
                          
🦋🦋🦋
                          
Earlier, Kylo had sent you and Fran out to get some fabrics for your new dress that Andreas was making for you. It was for the big event that Snoke could not stop talking about, the one where you'd have to do the unthinkable to Kylo's. Betray him, his trust and commitment. 
                          
"Definitely the mint green with the chiffon." Fran squealed as you picked out the fabrics, "It compliments your warm undertones of your skin."
                          
"Ok, ok that's good because I didn't like the others." You said pushing the other fabrics aside. 
                          
Fran had said she would accompany you to get some fabric for today and you knew Kylo trusted her so it wouldn't be a problem. It was actually nice having some time to spend with Fran. All you two ever did was spend time in your room so to be able to actually go out and have a girls day was nice. It was something you needed. 
                          
You hadn't had one of these in a long time, partly because your mother didn't allow them after you turned 19 and you became eligible to rule over the kingdom. She always had to remind you that royalty were never seen in public, but always remained in the public eye. That never made sense to you, because you wanted to be different than the generations before you. You actually wanted to go out into the streets and ask people how they were doing and wanted to change the city for them and their well-being and not your own.
                          
It really made you upset when your father changed things for himself, for the economy and didn't care about the consequences of the people living in the streets. It made you angry that he was so inconsiderate about the livelihood of his people. 
                          
"Tonight? Do we get drunk or get food then get drunk?" Fran laughed as you two got back to the hotel room that Kylo booked for the both of you. 
                          
"Both." You said slamming the door shut and putting the bags down and laughing with her. 
                          
You two may have already been a little tipsy from the lunch you had just had and the alcohol was really getting to your head. Although you knew you were pregnant you thought that one drink couldn't possibly hurt, right? It wasn't all that bad. But you hadn't realised that being away for alcohol for nearly 2 months now, because of the pregnancy, really made it like a drug you had to have. And once you had one sip of it at lunch, you were hooked on it and needed more.
                          
You placed the bags down and dropped down onto the massive beg dramatically whilst giggling more. It would be an understatement to say that you were tipsy, because you knew that you were drunk and out of it completely. 
                          
"So we go to the club down the street that we passed?" Fran asked and you nodded.
                          
The images from what happened last time you were in a club drifted into your mind. You were drunk and everything was a blur just like it was now. The way you nearly went home with some random man at the club and how you nearly got kidnapped and killed. There was this little voice in your head telling you to stop, but the overwhelming impulsive voice kept telling you it was fine. That you'd be fine and the baby would be. Everything would be fine and nothing would happen to you. 
                          
At least that's what you'd hoped. But was it really ever a good idea to be already drunk, getting evens more drunk all whilst being pregnant?
                          
(hi everyone: 2021 is like in an hour here and i'm not ready. i'm scared for everything and the british government have really messed up. it feels like a repeat of march and i don't like how the story ends :/ i hope everyone has a safe and happy new year though and stays connected with friends and family during this unsafe and uncertain time!)