Chapter Forty-Two

                                    

                                          
He- He- He-
                          
He kissed me- I- I can't- Why would he- What- Wh-
                          
"Huuuuh?!"
                          
My mind isn't thinking. My heart is racing. My face is reddening.
                          
I sit on the floor for, I don't even know how long, when I finally regain control of my body.
                          
I slowly stand up, and I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror.
                          
My hair is out of place, my face is the reddest face I've ever seen in real life, and I look all around confused.
                          
Which I am, but that's not important.
                          
I turn on the sink, cup some water in my hands, and splash my face. I repeat that until my face feels cool again, and the front of my hair is completely soaked. I look up, and... I look fine.
                          
I've looked better, but I've definitely looked worse.
                          
A couple memories come to mind, but I shake them off. 
                          
I look normal, but I still feel so damn flustered... No way I'm gonna act normal when I see him now..
                          
I sigh, and close my eyes.
                          
The scene replays again and again in my head. Him handing me the box, me reading the note and looking up, and his lips meeting mine,  innocently staying locked for merely a few seconds, but the seconds felt like minutes, hours. 
                          
My fingers drift to my lips, and I find myself wishing we could share another kiss.
                          
I know that that was a mere birthday gift, but... Even so... This might be false hope, but he must feel something for me to do that... Right?
                          
I don't want to assume, but... He can't feel no romantic feelings to be able to do that... I think.
                          
I may have only known him for about a year, but I think I know him... Pretty well, at least. He...
I don't think he could do that with no romantic feelings towards the person...
                          
I feel a small smile come to my face. Even if he doesn't want to be with me, which he most likely doesn't, considering everything I've done, it's still nice knowing, or, well, thinking that he also likes me. I can't help but be happy, even if it's only temporary.
                          
I eventually walk out of the bathroom, and I look around the hallway first, for no real reason.
                          
I fake casualty, and I walk into the room where everyone else is. Well, everyone except Shōyō. 
                          
I thought he would've gone back in by now...
                          
Everyone watches me walk in, and some welcome me back with a 'Hey.'
                          
I go back in and sit down, and the Truth or Dare continues.
                          
~~~
                          
Another ten minutes of truth and dare pass with no sign of Shōyō. I'm thinking of going to look for him, but then it's my turn. I look up to who called my name, and I meet eyes with Sugawara.
                          
Maybe they'll let me go if I do a dare...
                          
"Dare."
                          
Sugawara smiles slightly and says, "I dare you to go find Hinata and check up on him. He's been gone a long time."
                          
Relief comes over me and I nod, quickly standing up. As I walk past him to the door, I mouth, "Thank you."
                          
He smiles and gives a half nod, and I leave the room.
                          
I quickly peak in the bathroom, then run down the hallway. I get to the main entrance area, and find the... Cashier? 
Whatever he is, I ask him, "Have you seen someone with orange hair run by?" He nods, and points me in the direction he saw Shōyō go.
                          
I thank him and run, checking everywhere. 
                          
I get to the end of the hallway with no sign of Shōyō, when I see a second bathroom.
                          
I blink, and walk in. What I see surprises me; Shōyō's muttering to himself at one of the sinks, looking somewhat upset.
                          
"Sh-Shōyō?" I call out. He jumps, surprised by my sudden voice, and he says, "O-oh. Hey, Tobi.." 
                          
...
                          
"Shōyō, are you okay? I mean, you seem a little..." He doesn't let me finish my thought. 
"Weak? Yeah, I know. I'm pathetic right now. I couldn't go back in there. It was too crowded. I got uncomfortable, and I ran away."
                          
I walk over to him hurriedly, and say, "Shōyō, what do you mean? You're not weak, you just-"
                          
"I got scared of being in a room with my friends, Tobio! I'm being weak! I'm... I'm fucking weak, Tobio, because I can't be in a room with my own damn friends because a guy pinned me against a wall. I can't handle being in a goddamn room with people I trust. That's pretty fucking weak, if you ask me."
                          
I blink, taken aback, and I find myself grabbing one of his shoulders. "Shōyō, that's not you being weak! You were traumatized, Shōyō, and you're still recovering! That's not weak, that's normal! You-"
                          
"I should have recovered by now! I won't see that guy again, and it's been long enough for me to have gotten over it, yet I haven't! I'm still fucking scared, okay?! I'm fucking scared of that guy, that goddamned guy, even being in the same school as me! I hate it! I hate it with all my being, and it's ruining every other sort of my life, too! I- I just wanna hang out with my friends, but I can't!"
                          
His voice trembles on the last sentence, and I realize that... He knows he's traumatized.
                          
"Shōyō... You were traumatized. You won't just bounce back from that. ...No one would. You're not weak, Shō. In fact, I'd say that it's the opposite. You're so damn strong for going back to school, for not transferring, for admitting that you're scared... You're one of the strongest people I know, so don't say you're weak."
                          
A tear falls down his cheek, and he wipes it. "But- I-"
                          
"Shōyō, you're so much stronger than me... Braver, too. Trust me. I could never go through what you did and already be back in school, or even in the same school. I'm nowhere near that strong. I... I want you to understand how damn strong you are, Shō. I... I admire you. I truly do."
                          
Shōyō wipes tears off his cheek, but they're soon replaced with new ones. But, even with the rainstorm happening happening within him, he still manages to shine. 
                          
Such a happy smile, with such a downpour trying to cover it up, but failing to hide the light he glows with. It hurts to see him cry, but the hurt is covered by the warmth Shōyō is brimming with.
                          
I feel tears appearing in my eyes, and I let them fall. If he's able to cry in front of me, I can cry in front of him. We don't need to hide right now.
                          
He starts to smile more, which cause me to cry more. I can't explain why. But I cry more as he smiles more, and he smiles more as I cry more.

                          
Then I feel warmth in my hand.
                          
I don't look at my hand. I look at Shōyō. I look into his smiling eyes, and I squeeze his hand. He gives a little laugh, and he hugs me. 


                          
This time, it's him who's comforting me. I thought I'd be the one to help him, but, as it turns out, he's helping me so much more than I ever could for him. 
                          
"...Sorry..."
                          
He tilts his head. "Sorry for what?"
                          
I lay my head on his shoulder, and say, "Everything..."
                          
He lets out a small laugh again, and pats my back. "You don't need to apologize for anything right now. Everything you've needed to apologize for, you already said sorry! So you're clean for now, Tobi Tobi! Heheh!"
                          
I lift my head, and look into his pretty amber eyes. And I laugh, too.
                          
And then we're both laughing.


                          
So this is why I fell for this idiot.


                          
And I'm really happy I did.