Ch-18

                                    

                                          

                            
                              
                                
                                
                              
                            
                            
                          
                          
[A/N: To get you into the mood, listen to this song while reading this chapter. Puhahaa, I am so mean, right? ]
                          

                            

                                
                            
                              
                                  
                              
                              
                                
                                  
                                  
                                
                              
                             
                            
                            
                          
                          
                          
Zee's P.O.V 
                          
I couldn't believe what Saint just said to me. His words were too harsh on me. I felt my chest clenching so tightly. But I couldn't care about it. I need to hide it so that way, I won't appeal so pathetic to anyone. 
                          
Who would have known that Saint's disappointment and disgusted face was replaying in my mind? Top it up with "I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE!" "I HATE YOU NOW" was repeating countless times in my ears. I tried to drive my car attentively while ignoring all the pain from my heart, chest, brain, and the rest of my body parts. All I knew at that time was I have to get back to a place I call 'Home' I need my meds to make me feel a little bit better. I gripped onto steering. I did not know why it was taking so long for me to get back home. I did not understand why I couldn't find my house. I am lost, no, I don't remember where my parents' house locate. 
                          
I pulled the car to the right shoulder and parked there. I pressed onto the emergency caller list on my phone. It was linked to my dad or Mae. In no time, dad answered my call.
                          
"D-Dad. Please come and save me. I am lost in the middle of the road. I don't know where the house locates. Ahhh, It hurts too much. Dad! Please send someone to me and take me back home. I can't find the house!" I yelled. 
"Zee? Zee? Calm down, Luk. Dad will send someone over to you right now! Don't hang up your phone. Talk with me—anything you want to say. Just talk to me," dad said worriedly. 
                          
I could hear how much dad is worried about me. With those thoughts, a smile curved on my lips.
                          
"Luk? Do you remember when you were five? You were too adorable and lovely to the point that everyone who met you thought you were a girl, and you got too angry with that. And told them back you're a guy and a powerful man!" dad said. 
"Yes, dad. I remembered, "I said. 
"Good. Just like that time, even now, you are a strong man for me. I'm so sorry about going too hard on you. Dad doesn't mean to," dad said. 
"It's okay, Dad," I said sweetly. 
"Right, Ohm will be there shortly," Dad said. 
                          
I started to brawled up crying. 
"Dad! Right now, my heart, chest, brain, and my whole body is aching. They are too painful to the point that I don't even know which part of my body is hurting," I said. 
"Zee? Listen to my voice, and your brain is just playing a trick on you. Your body is not hurting," Dad tried to get my senses to come back to me. 
"No, dad. It's too painful for me to deal with. Now, Saint hates me to death as well. I don't know what to do anymore," Zee confessed. 
"Zee, I will personally go meet with him and told him everything he should know about you, "dad said. 
"N-no, you can't. That would make me look too pathetic. I don't want anyone to look at me with pitiful eyes, not even from him," I protested. 
"Zee, when you are in a relationship, it never wrongs to show your imperfections. Son, in this world, no one thinks the same way as we do to ourselves. Individuals are going to be different from others. I understand how you feel right now, but you have to be strong and don't give up on your life. Are you feeling better?" He asked. 
"Krub, dad. Thanks for cheering me up. Thanks for everything, dad. I think I can now get back home," I replied. 
"That's my boy," Dad complimented me for the very first time in my life. 
                          
Normally, he tends to act very cold, strict, and stern towards me. I have never expected that he will start to become warm one day and opened his heart to me. I would say today is the day where I felt lost and gain something back in place. 
                          
But that doesn't mean me and Saint I had separated our way. I will try my best to get him back. Of course, it's going to take too much effort. Well, I love him so much that I have to have him in my life and make things right. 
                          
After that, I drove my car to the mansion. It's been a while that I went back to my condo as it won't do any good for me, so I decided to stay with my parents. Once I got back home, I saw Dad and Mae sitting in the living room, and there's another guy who is giving his back to me. (A/N: That's not Saint. Just a guest)
                          
"You're back, Zee," Mae said. 
"Krub, Mae. I am tired, so I will be upstairs to take some rest," I replied. 
"B..." 
"Honey, let him take some rest," Dad said. With that, I climbed upstairs and went into my room. I took off my shirt, put it in the laundry bag sitting in the bathroom, and changed into a black fitted tank top. I plopped myself on my bed and closed my eyes to relax. 
                          
The pain inside my chest did not fade away. It hurts so much that tears dropped from my eyes. I clenched onto the left side of my chest and rolled on my bed. "Will this pain ever going to stop?" I asked. 
                          
At that moment, my mother came into my room. "Luk, how are you feeling?" She asked as she sat next to me. I looked up to her wearily.
                          
"N-no, krub. It's too painful and frustrating," I paused and gasped for air. "What should I do? I am lost. Mae, I am too scared to face anything. All my body parts and inner organs are hurting me too much," I continued as I clenched my chest tighter.
                          
"Luk, have you take your pills?" Mae asked. I am too exhausted to reply, so I shook my head. 
                          
"You should take it. Tell me, where is your pill?" She asked. 
                          
" I think it should be on the right side of my study table drawer," I said.  
                          
With that, she walked to my study table and came back to me with a pillbox in her hand. She then took a pill and handed it to me. At that time, I ran into my bathroom to throw up because of the horrible headache. I threw up until there's nothing left in my stomach. I then washed my face and mouth. Then, rest on my bed again.  I noticed that my panic attack and the illness were getting worst than before. I have been taking diazepam ever since I was 13. It started with an acute panic attack, but it started to worsen as I grew up. Right now is the worst. 
                          
I took the pills before I rest on my bed. In no time, my mind started to calm down, and I soon fall asleep. When I woke up, Saint's harsh words came and reflashed in my mind again. I cupped my head with both hands and covered my ears. "AAAAAHHHHH!! STOP IT!!!!" I yelled until someone came into my room. It was my Dad and Mae. 
                          
"Dad, Mae. Please save me, please? Why doesn't it go away? Why?" I asked as my hands clasped onto my head really strong. 
                          
" Honey, I think we should call our family doctor if it's necessary; we should hospitalize him. They're all my fault only if I wasn't going too hard on him. None of these would happen from the first place," Dad said to Mae.
                          
"Dad, I don't want to go to the hospital. Please don't send me there, naa?" I begged. 
                          
I hate staying at the hospital because there's nothing for me to do, and I have to be alone with only spirits wandering around me. On top of that, I found it really boring to stay in bed all day and night.
                          
"Mae, please ask dad not to send me to the hospital. I am already alone right now; if I have to go to the hospital and have to stay there, I'm afraid I will really go insane; let me stay here, naa?" I begged them with a wai.
                          
😞😔😟
                          
Let's keep on crying coz I have given you enough sweet moments.
Series of dramas are happening. 
Thanks for supporting me and my work. 
You guys are the best! 
See you all the next time. 
-lin_skl