'I'm falling again'
Falling~Harry styles
LAST DAY OF 2020 AHHHHHHH
Hope you enjoy ;)
Harry Styles
Thea and I spent the whole day just hanging out. We had another oceans marathon which she suggested. I love that we have the same favorite movies, we're cute like that. Thankfully no one came home today because we kept touching each other and ended up just in our underwear the whole day, I suggested that Thea didn't wear anything but she thought she should leave some things to the imagination even though we've showered together countless times and we had sex last night. I still can't believe it actually happened ,we had sex, good sex. Not that I thought I was gonna be bad , I just didn't know what to expect. And she has a pain kink, Jesus fucking christ . When I put my hand on her throat it was just a reflex I didn't expect her to actually like it and when she was digging her nails into my chest I nearly came right there. We're more alike than we thought.
My baby's a freak and so am I.
She hasn't talked about what happened the other night with Nathan. I really thought that she was gonna go back to not speaking for days at a time but we fucked instead. I am worried about her though, I mean I always am worried about her but her life is a big clusterfuck of complete fuckups including myself .
I've never met someone with such awful things happen to them all the time. I seriously don't think we've had one normal week. But if having not one normal week means that I can be with this amazing fucking woman then by all means no more normal weeks for me.
The most beautiful girl in the world loves me, I cannot fucking wrap my head around it. I never would've thought that I would be this happy. But at the same time Louis voice is in the back go my head saying that I have to tell her . I know she's gonna hate me but what can I do.
I told Thea I had to take an online test earlier for one of my courses but it was hers, she still doesn't know that I was doing all of her work yet but I'll tell her soon. "Where's Ellton?" I state in panic and look around the loft , do not tell me we lost her siblings fucking puppy. "He's at John's with Logan, baby." relief washed over and and I can see the corners of her mouth go up slightly of my concern.
We are currently laying on her couch together , well she's on top of me while I'm holding her against me and her arms are wrapped around me tightly as well. I can't believe she actually loves me and I never would've thought that I would fall in love with someone and so fucking quickly but that's why it's called falling in love , right. Falling is like descending in something , going downhill . When going downhill you're going really fast, right. But when you're climbing back up that hill it takes ten times amount that time . I've fallen and I've fallen with no shame at all.
People fall in love so quickly and they are mesmerized by that person, they become their whole world without even noticing and when it all falls apart... you have to pick yourself back up. Picking yourself back up from something or climbing back up that hill will take so much longer than falling down it because you don't have that person anymore, it's becomes harder . I hadn't realized that Thea had become my world up until this moment .
I never want to leave her side ...
I see Thea's forehead crease like she has something important to say so I tap her butt and she giggles and looks up at me with a fucking amazing smile but with hurt behind her eyes. "What's wrong ,princess ?" I turn off the t.v. so she has to pay attention to me. "Hey , I was watching that." she groans and moves her body so she's laying on her stomach on top of me .
"Green eyes." I deadpan and she's catching on that I know she's not alright and buries her face into my chest. I start to stroke my hand up and down her spine because I know how much she likes it. "Talk to me." She finally looks up at me with a glossy look in her eyes. She lets out a shaky breath and finally takes everything in that's happened in the past two week. Slow tears start to trickle down her face and I wipe them away.
"I'm scared." she says under her breath which makes my heart break at the statement. "Baby, why are you scared ?" I sit up a little bit so she could be more comfortable. "I'm scared that he's not going to leave this time." she confesses. I crease my eyebrows in confusion and she elaborates for me. "I'm scared that my dad isn't gonna leave this time."
Realization hits me of how fucking scared of him she is , I want to fucking kill him. "Why do you think he won't leave?"I question and more tears start spilling out . "He won't leave b-because everything here is under his name and if R-roslyn dies." she pauses and lets our another shaky breath."Everything will go to him, he bought this loft for Aunt Roslyn when he went off to college with m-mom. Most things will go to me but he still has parental rights over Logan and Elle and everything that is going to them will go to him since there under 18." What a piece of shit, who the fuck sticks around just to get everything from his sister when she dies, he should be by her side because she's his sister not because he wants her money.
"Why don't they get emancipated ." I suggest and she shakes her head. "If they did that then they would have to drop out of school and get full time jobs to support themselves and Charlie would have to sign away his rights. My aunt tried to adopt us a while back and declare him as an unfit parent but he refused to sign away his rights when we contacted him. He can fucking leave a ten year old with a six and five year old on library steps but he refuses to fucking stop being our father . How the fuck does that make sense?! I fucking hate the state."
"I'm sorry baby." I say because she just needs to let all of this out and needs a person to listen and I am her for no matter what and I pray to god she knows that. "Stop apologizing ." she says sternly . I sit up fully and bring her onto my lap,"No. I am not going to stop apologizing ." her lip quivers and I take a hold her her hands. "I am not going to stop apologizing because out of everyone in this world you deserve an apology and no one gives them to you so I am going to keep doing it . No one apologized for using your old name , no one apologized for hitting you, yelling at you and manipulating you. So no princess , I am not going to stop apologizing even for things that may not be of my doing ."
"I love you." she states and ever time she says it it seems more real . "I love you." I bring my forehead to hers and cup her cheeks. "And even if your father stays then we'll leave." I say with no hesitation at all. "We can't leave, Harry"
"Why not, we can go to England and we can live with my cousin Regina and her daughter Kara and her little on the way granted she has a friend staying there right now but who gives a shit." Well more my old friend but she's kind of Regina's friend too ."My siblings and-" "Your siblings and aunt can come with us they do have hospitals in England ,green eyes. We can enroll in university and we can adopt your siblings and once we graduate we can get a flat together. " I have no idea where the fuck that came from , the words just kept tumbling out of my mouth.
She doesn't say anything so I just decide to let it go and I take her off my lap and stand up to take her hand and go to bed.
We get into bed and she snuggles into the crook of my neck, I can feel the dampness in her eyes against me. Shit, did I make her cry. Nice going .
"I would love to flee and move in with you and live this amazing life Harry but..." she trails off but I finish off for her. "It's not realistic I know , one day princess one day." she nods and drifts off to sleep and so do I
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HEARTLESS //HS
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