FORTY

                                    

                                          
I smoothed out the silky material of the dress, making sure it was perfect before I headed downstairs. I held on to the railing tight, trying to keep myself steady. I never wore heels, so I was still trying to get used to them. 
                          
When I reached the bottom, I turned into the living room where everyone was waiting for me. I smiled and spun around then shrugged. 
                          
"Bloody hell." George gasped. 
                          
"Positively beautiful." Mrs. Weasley gushed. 
                          
Hermine and Ginny looked very pleased with themselves as they looked me up and down, giving each other high fives. 
                          
"Better than I even imagined!" Hermione admitted. 
                          
I turned my focus off them and onto Harry, who was standing in front of me wearing a black suit with a white shirt underneath and a silver tie. It matched my jewelry and shoes. He was looking at me, a huge grin spread across his face. 
                          
"You look dashing." I teased.
                          
He chuckled, looking down at his suit before returning his gaze to me. "You look stunning, truly Regan." he smiled. 
                          
"Thank you." I breathed. 
                          
Silence fell around us in the room, everyone was still locked in on me. I took a deep breath and gave them all a small smile, nodding my head. It was my way of saying I was going to be okay. They returned my smile.
                          
"Shall we then?" Harry asked, holding his arm out to me. I looped my arm with his and we headed for the door.
                          
"Regan!" Ron called.
                          
I turned to face him.
                          
"No matter what, you'll be okay." he nodded. I smiled at him and let out a deep breath, bobbing my head in agreement. I turned back to Harry and we stepped through the front door, leaving the burrow behind. 
                          
When our feet smacked down, we were standing in front of Malfoy Manor. I hadn't been here in a long time. I came repeatedly after the battle, hoping he would show back up here but he never did. I took a deep breath as I watched the people piling inside the large front doors.
                          
"You ready?" Harry asked. 
                          
I wasn't ready. I was never going to be ready because who is prepared to walk into the person, they thought they were meant to be withs wedding. I hadn't seen Draco in over a year. Would his grey eyes still pierce into mine the way they used to? Would his perfect pale skin still glow, making my heart flutter? 
                          
I also felt guilty, having Harry next to me for this. I knew how he felt about me and it made me feel awful having to make him watch me be upset over Draco, watch as I clang to every memory of him and I. I didn't want him to feel like a second choice, because it wasn't a choice. I couldn't help the way I felt, I tried. But it was Draco, it was always going to be Draco. I loved them both, but it was so different. I guess maybe the way I loved Harry was going to have to be enough, but that didn't feel fair to him either. He deserved more than someone who loved him the way I loved Draco. 
                          
"Harry-" I breathed, turning to face him. "I'm sorry."
                          
"For what?" he questioned, furrowing his brow at me.
                          
"For loving him." I breathed, tears threatening inside my eyes. "I don't want you to feel like a second choice, like my back up option."
                          
"Regan- stop. I understand." He gave me a half smile. "I know I'm not a second choice, I'm your best friend, that's what I am." 
                          
"I know but Harry I know how you feel about me." I cried. "I wish I could-"
                          
"Don't." he interrupted, grabbing both my hands into his. "I wouldn't take back anything, I wouldn't change how I feel."