14: First night

                                    

                                          
Happy new year everyone (I know I'm late) but an early update as a gift. 
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It was all going well
Till they stumble into a room,  definitely  hazy as taehyung was totally gone after just having two shots who was definitely persuaded by the very-known-for this, jin. 
He was totally a light weight jeongguk notes and No more alcohol for him he decides. 
Their families, mostly taehyung's probably must've  snuck them  into here  because of course their first night and all that bullshit.
As soon as they enter jeongguk goes for the washroom for his night routine and freshen up a bit as he's still tipsy also to let taehyung make himself comfortable. 
When he comes out he can see a Taehyung sized lump on the bed already and he notices there's no couch there for him to crash on so he yawns  before  lying  down on the bed next to him.  
When he feels Taehyung not moving at all and couldn't even feel him breathing he asks. "Taehyung?"
It was quite for a moment and then-
"Y-yes?." The  mound  squeaks  cutely looking  him  through  the covers and jeongguk isn't that tipsy anymore but maybe something's in the quiet of this night or he's really exhausted from the day that he's not even considering their situation and well position. 
"If  you  were  tired  you  could  have  turned  the  lights  off." Jeongguk  murmurs fingering  the  light switch  on  and  off  a  little.  He's  feeling totally too comfortable for his own good and relaxed strangely. 
"I-it's  fine, I don't like d-dark I f-feel sick." Taehyung's eyes are wide.
Not at all comprehending jeongguk does the worst, reaches for him and puts back of his hand on his forehead and says "But You're not hot."
Taehyung stiffens  and  squirms  a  little  and  jeongguk  frowns. "Hey. Tae are you-?" The 'okay' goes silent as he  gently pulls the  covers  down  from  taehyung's  nose, who doesn't  put  up  much  a  fight  but  he  does cross  his  hands  over  his  chest.  
Jeongguk  stops right  above  his navel which was obviously visible as he's still wearing that cropped tee, which is pulled up a little to reveal his soft honey skin making jeongguk's face beat a shade of crimson. He clears his throat, breaking his reverie, not a deprived teenager he reminds himself. "Tae-?" he  whispers and stops in the midst  when  he  takes  his  eyes  from  his so soft looking tummy to  look at  his  face,
He sees a scared, an open  face with wide eyes full of discomfort, then the epiphany hits him and oh "Hey it's okay taehyung  I won't- um I mean we aren't going to-shit! I wasn't-" He freaks out now of all the time but says softly  leaning down a bit to look him in the eyes to not make taehyung freak too which failed obviously. 
He was  about to assure him that they're not going to do that and he should not be scared as he won't touch him without his consent again but he was stopped in middle of the sentence with-
"Please  don't  hurt  me." Taehyung  whimpers  out,  begging as his body  begins  to  heave.
Jeongguk's eyes widen. "No. no  no"  Jeongguk  jumps  off  the  bed  immediately and taehyung looks more frightened now.
Fuck
Jeongguk  jumps  into  action of freaking and flailing here and there not having a clue how to confront taehyung after saying 'No'  like  an  idiot instead of an apology or some sort of explanation that it was all a misunderstanding.  He  feels  like  an  idiot.  An idiot  who  drank and must've got too clingy without  realising  about taehyung's privacy and why the hell he was staring at his tummy for goodness sake, it must've made taehyung think that he's a pervert & a creep too. He's an idiot he should've known that taehyung would think otherwise.
When he meets eyes with panicked taehyung again who's biting his lips, eyes widening more if that's possible, tears visible, he's clutching the sheets close to his chin so tight like these sheets would protect him. 
So jeongguk  finally rushes to the bedside and kneels. He looks at him and hesitantly pats his shoulder from the cover in oder to calm him down. He didn't know how taehyung would react but he's gotta try, the boy's panicking. "Hey taehyung. Breathe in and out slowly please breathe no one's going to touch you. I  promise, I  will  never  hurt  you. Never let anyone,  you can trust me you know you can and I'm not going anywhere. I  will  always  listen  to you. I  won't  force  you  into  anything  I  promise." 
Taehyung  flinches and inwardly jeongguk feels  like  a  dick. "I'm  so  so  sorry.  It's  okay  it's  going  to  be  okay, please breathe in and out."  jeongguk made  all  the  promises  he  could  think of.  He avoids getting too close to taehyung as an instinct but continues patting him. He knows more contact can make him panic more. He let's him relax and maybe that did  the  trick or just the shoulder pats as taehyung's not heaving like before, inhaling-exhaling like jeongguk had said. "You're  going to  be  fine.  I'm  not  going  to  hurt  you, no one's going to hurt you."  He murmurs  gently. 
After calming down Taehyung just  looks  at  him  but his  breathing  is  finally  evened out so Jeongguk sighs in relief.
There's a long beat of silence between them and before taehyung speaks jeongguk is contemplating all the ways how he'd take pillows with a blanket and will sleep on the floor, sounds like a plan
"I'm sorry." Taehyung finally says so softly, almost whispers. "I'm sorry, you h-had to- you c-can come to the bed n-now."
"No. No you don't have to be sorry taehyung, after all what happened to you before, it definitely was traumatic, you're bound to have panic attacks that's normal and an obvious thing to happen, if it doesn't that means you're not human and all I can do is. . .stay with you through all this and understand you. That's what I- we vowed right?" Jeongguk  babbles helplessly. 
He wants taehyung to understand somehow but he doesn't know how to make him.
But when taehyung nods otherwise, jeongguk can't help but sigh in relief smile wide. He doesn't know how to express it the other way.
"So. . .you can sleep on the bed taehyung I can crash on the floor you don't have to worry okay?" Jeongguk  asks  cautiously. It  was  almost  like  he  didn't  know  what  he  was asking. 
Taehyung sits up abruptly and says " No! You can sleep on the b-bed-I'm okay, I promise a-and we c-can-. . .can we put pillows in between i-instaed?." He says it so cute with wide eyes and lips pouting with words that jeongguk does all  but  melts at the way he speaks or his suggestion was too cute or just his. . .everything?
when  he  sits  back  on  the  bed taehyung scoots more to the side to make space for him and for-yeah their boundary pillows that jeongguk found in the wardrobe and he ended  up  lying  down  on  the  bedspread, getting  another  blanket  to  cover  himself.
Taehyung  asked  to keep  the  lights  on  and  jeongguk's glad that he's voicing his choices or maybe Taehyung's  too  drained emotionally  and  physically  to be hesitant but he's still glad. 
They both  lie there awake for a long, waiting for sleep to finally overpower the chaos in their minds. 
All they knew  was  that  this was  their  first night together as husbands and there are  about six cushions between them. They're supposed to be asleep too but are too scared to move into their comfortable positions in order to not look at each other accidentally in the process. 
Will things get more awkward in the future? 
Who knows. 
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Duh I know 😏