Part 20: Longing

                                    

                                          
Katsuki gently rested the empty bowl on the tray careful not to make any noise seeing as Izuku had fallen asleep. Katsuki had enjoyed feeding the smaller male more than he should've. He was so content to just feed him and get some kind of interaction that he felt scared. He felt scared of the emotions that swelled inside of him whenever he was around Izuku. 
                          
It had been only a couple of hours since Izuku had fainted and yet Katsuki craved the incredibly warm and intoxicating touch of the greenette. Only a few hours and he felt completely drained of energy and lack of interest in anything other than the greenette. 
                          
He sat on the chair that was placed near Izuku's bed and stared at he sleeping male. He looked so peaceful as his chest silently rose and fell with each breath. Katsuki knew he shouldn't, but he couldn't help himself. He knew he was in the wrong but he needed some kind of interaction with the greenette. Gently slipping his hands into the soft ones of Izuku, he brushed over the knuckles and kissed the back of the greenette's hand softly.
                          
Intertwining their hands, Katsuki moved up to Izuku's face and admired the beautiful view. It didn't matter if Izuku was sleeping or awake, he was always beautiful in Katsuki's eyes. He was the only thing beautiful in Katsuki's eyes. Katsuki didn't realize it until recently, but everything around him was constantly being compared to Izuku by him. Be it males, females and sometimes objects that he remembered the greenette by, were constantly being compared to Izuku. He wasn't being attracted to anything it, and he was partially scared as to why it was happening. 
                          
Katsuki sealed the space between them, a quick peck, nothing much. But it was all he needed as a calm feeling washed through his body. He could his nerves and muscles relax. The knots that twisted in his stomach had dispersed by the small affectionate action. Katsuki rested his forehead against Izuku's as a warm liquid rolled down his cheek. The salty substance ran down his face, messing up his usually calm exterior to one of distraught and pain. 
                          
His shoulders shook as he let him tears out, the liquid surely dripping onto Izuku's face. His sniffles were quiet, cautious to not awake the greenette. His whole exterior violently quivered as he bit his lips, hard enough to draw blood. He was completely vulnerable and broken, everything was going so well for him. He was finally feeling loved and appreciated. He was feeling content. But as soon as everything was being built up, it collapsed, leaving Katsuki at the bottom of it.
                          
Katsuki couldn't stop his tears even if he wanted to, he could only hope no one walked in and that Izuku didn't wake up. He really hoped the greenette wouldn't wake, because he would surely be pushed away. The mere though sending a cold shiver to wrack his body. He needed Izuku, that was why he was so scared. The separation from the greenette was killing him inside. He wanted nothing more than for Izuku to wake up and wrap him in his arms, to hold him. But he wouldn't, all because of Katsuki. It was his fault that he ruined the only good thing for him.
                          
"I'm sorry baby...I-I really am..." Katsuki's voice cracked, and that was when you could really tell he hit rock bottom. Katsuki Bakugou never apologized, whether he was wrong or right. Yet, here he was, completely broken down and chanting apologies towards the sleeping male under him. He really wanted to shake the male awake and explain the misunderstanding, but the greenette was already so stressed that Katsuki couldn't possibly burden him that. 
                          
He slowly removed himself from on top Izuku and wiped his face, clearing any evidence of his previous breakdown before going outside the room. It was suffocating to be in a room with the smaller male and not constantly feel the need to be with him. He needed some fresh air. He breathed in deeply and sighed, this wasn't turning out good at all. 
                          
Izuku let out a shaky breathe once he heard the door close. He had been awake the entire time and wanted to so badly embrace the blond and bask in his warmth, but he couldn't. Because Katsuki had prevented him being able to even look at him the same way as before. Everything was so perfect, but in Izuku's world, perfect didn't exist. There was always something that fucked it up.
                          
Salty tears glistened on his cheeks. Why was it it so hard? Katsuki had cheated on him...but did he really? They weren't together. They didn't have a label and Katsuki hadn't made a move to secure their relationship that far. Come to think of it, Izuku shouldn't even be crying. Because Katsuki wasn't his. The blond wasn't tied down to Izuku by any means. No amount of pet names and affectionate actions could deny the fact. Therefore, he was free to do whatever he wanted. So, was it just a fling?
                          
Izuku's heart clenched as he recalled Katsuki's words. 'I'm sorry baby.' His voice had sounded so broken and full of despair. He was the once who cheated, so why he more broken than Izuku. Izuku was one who got his heart shredded, so why was Katsuki acting like that? Was he pitying the greenette? Did he feel bad for cheating? Izuku didn't know, and he sure as hell didn't need to find out. As soon as he could walk, he'd leave behind Katsuki and forget. He already got his heart broken, he didn't need to see the reason for it as well.
                          
All thoughts came to a stop when Katsuki entered with papers in his hand, a happy look on his face. "The hospital discharged you." He stated excitedly. And he was, because Izuku was unable to move, he'd have to take care of him. The thought alone making a smile appear on his face.
                          
A nurse followed him inside with a wheelchair for Izuku. Katsuki desperately reached out to Izuku, ignoring the pins poking his heart as Izuku turned his head to the side to avoid looking at him. He scooped up the greenette and relished the content feeling that hummed through him. For a second, he really wanted to snuggle to greenette and walk him to the car. But he couldn't, so he reluctantly seated him on the chair and adjusted him comfortably before reaching out to the handle and began to roll the chair towards the door.
                          
The wheeling was a bit difficult and bumpy. Katsuki cursed himself every time he heard Izuku groan from the sudden bump or turn. They reached the car and Katsuki scooped the greenette up and gently placed him in the car, all the while trying to ignore the painful feeling of longing in his chest. They were so close, all it took was a little nudge and they would be connected. But as soon as Katsuki made a move, Izuku turned his head and sucked in a breath. This was going to be hard.
                          
Katsuki jumped into the car and started to drive, an unsettling silence filling the car. It was becoming quite unbearable and painful to not talk to the greenette however it was more unbearable and painful seeing as the greenette was ignoring him. Izuku was first to break the silence.
                          
"You missed the turn to my house." The smaller male spoke, his eyes still exploring the scenery outside. Katsuki looked at him for a brief second before answering.
                          
"I know." Katsuki replied, eyes glued to the road. Seeing that it was his fault the greenette had landed in the hospital, he made it his duty to take care of him. As a bonus, he could also use the time to grow the bond that broken between them. It was a win-win, for him at least. 
                          
Izuku only responded with a sharp turn of his head. Being holed up with Katsuki for a week would be painful as well as annoying. The blond had already hurt him, now he was trying to take care of him. It was all so confusing to the greenette that his head started to hurt while thinking about it. Stress? Yeah, he was really stressed.
                          
They pulled up to the familiar gates of the Bakugou residence. Katsuki hopped out and went to get the greenette. Izuku hated that he was immobilized. It was so hard to not nuzzle into the comforting warmth that radiated of his body. The warmth that he spent endless nights with. The soft touch that made him go crazy. But apparently, it was just him who felt like that. 
                          
After all, Izuku wasn't the only one Kastuki had been touching...
                          
A/N: ItS lAtE- I know okay! But its fucking Christmas man, I was busy ಠ﹏ಠ
                          
Anyway- why the fuck is it so damn hard to write with acrylics?! I've resisted the urge to break my computer in half for a whole week. Like- its hard okay ＞﹏＜
                          
Okay but seriously now- I hoped you enjoyed the holidays as well as this chapter. Have a good night! <3