H E ’ S H E R E !

if reclaiming slurs is simply a matter of having ever been called it, rather than being the actual intended target of it, then congratulations to every single middle schooler in a CoD lobby for being the vanguard of progressive reclamation

like. a straight boy being called a homo is first and foremost being given an opportunity to reassert his heterosexuality and join in on homophobia. to the gay boy, the slur is a threat; to the straight boy, a competition.

having a king bed sounds scary what if you try to put the fitted sheet on and get lost in there and die like a caver

hi this is andys roommate he got snatched up by a big hawk in the park and now hes gone forever do U feel good that this comment was the last thing he ever got to see on the computer

nevermind that the hawk dropped him and he used a leaf like a parachute he's ok now

no i died

i mean he died

>go to cvs for toothpaste and cold medicine

>hit button for employee to open the toothpaste case

>grabs it before i can

>"i have to hold this at the front for you until you check out"

>go to cold medicine aisle

>ring bell for employee to open the cough medicine case

>nobody shows up

>ring again

>nobody shows up

>check case

>case is unlocked

>take cold medicine and go to check out

>grab toothpaste from unmanned register

>have to use self checkout

>scan cold medicine

>"age verification needed please wait for employee"

>employee comes over and cards me and then leaves

>finish self checkout

>walk through literal piles of discarded receipts at exit door

another beautiful non hostile day in our great country

i cannot emphasize enough how 5 years ago you could walk into a store and pick up the item you wanted and buy it and leave . it sounds like a fairytale now but it was true.

No, i'm not stoned, why do you ask?

there's a new trend where you and another girl press your soapy boobs together in the shower and ladies im trying to go viral

🗣guess what day it is🗣⁉️ that’s right ✅ it’s january 6️⃣th‼️‼️🇺🇸 all my cock loving 😍🍆CUMservatives 💦 let me hear you moan 😩😫 YAAASSSS daddy donald 😍 😫😤 one year ago today 📆 a LOAD 🥵💧of our brave brothers 🙋🏻‍♂️🙋🏼‍♂️ and BRATTY 😳 stepsisters 👯‍♀️💁🏼‍♀️ rode 🔥😏 that TRUMP TRAIN🚊🚂 all the way to the capitol 🏛 where they BUSTED 💦💦💦 in to protest 🤬😡 a rigged 🔗⛓ ERECTION 🤯🤯🤯 and defend 🤜🏻🙏🏻🙌🏻 our freedom 🇺🇸 to FUCK ‼️‼️😍😜 insurrection? ❌ more like insurSEXion 😏💦 fake news 😠🤥🤡 wants you to think 💭💭 it was a terrorist attack 💣💥 on democracy 😒😭😖 but the only terror 😳😱was how HARD 🥵 our CLIT-licking 😛🍭🍦 liberators 🇺🇸 FUCKED😈🤗🍆 send this to 2️⃣0️⃣ of your sluttiest 🤫🤩🍌 cock sucking 👅😋 conservatives 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸 get 0️⃣ back and you’re just another throbbing member 🍆🍆🍆of congress 😣🙅🏻‍♀️🙅🏼 get 5️⃣ back and you’re a secret 🥸🧐 antifa agent🕵🏻😌 get 1️⃣5️⃣ back and you’re a full fledged 😜🇺🇸true ameriCUNT 🍑🇺🇸

🐶!

Yeah, this is why diamonds are a girl's best friend. Because they can be pawned if a woman has been abandoned and needs to have money on hand to rebuild a life.

which of them looks more like a cat?