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(an ex-soviet socialist republican)

@ritavonbees / ritavonbees.tumblr.com

mags // 35 // существо среднего рода // 404 preferred pronouns not found (current frontrunner: *throws up hands in frustration and mumbles vaguely about how singular they will do I guess*) // "better than a lot of people (and some cats) (at being a cat)" - @someofthemusic //
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Search is turning up nothing, but that's Tumblr even if there is something, so:

Have I told you guys about my many adventures with the brothel massage parlour around the corner from my house yet?

Looks like I haven't. Okay, well, let's see. I'll just give highlights, but it'll be long, so let's do a readmore.

So, in mid-2022, I dared to age past about 35 and therefore started withering bodily. Of course, this is partly my fault, because I do not get enough exercise, but also (shakes fist at uncaring universe, pulls muscle in fist) Life Hates Me

So, I started getting muscle pain between the shoulder blades. In my case, this is actually one of those annoying to-avoid-one-disability-you-created-another things, because I've had problems with my lower back since I was in my mid-20s thanks to never using proper lumbar support. Therefore, my standard spot to be in my living room became the sofa that stretches away from the TV, because then I could lie on the sofa and prop my head up on the arm to watch, but that means I spent several years as a recreational candy cane and NOW HERE WE ARE. I remember desperately trying to find a massage therapist that could see me that day before I went away to Edinburgh in August that year, and there was nowhere at all available. I had to get one in Edinburgh when I arrived, which was lovely, but also about £20 more expensive, because Edinburgh.

And then! In November! Of 2022!

I must have wished really hard. Because around the corner from my house - so close I could forward roll that distance, if it weren't for, you know (gestures at body, pulls muscle in arm)... a massage parlour opened.

Except. Here's the thing.

It had a name like "Swansea Oriental Massage" or "Thai Lotus Massage" or what have you (real name not given for privacy reasons.) The kind of name that makes you go "Ah. An independent business, likely staffed by workers fresh from abroad, with a name that implies exotic women to a certain type of client. This may be entirely what it claims, but it definitely Fits a Profile."

And to be clear, I have no issues at all with it being a brothel! I truly, genuinely don't. But for obvious reasons, I do want to know if I'm booking a session with a masseuse or a sex worker, because those are very different types of happy endings.

By the way the Cantonese restaurant is No. 12, on Dillwyn Street near the Grand Theatre. But the best Mandarin one is Gigi Gao's in the Marina. I've tried both and can confirm.

Update: the alternate place I went to was run by a good old fashioned middle-aged working class Swansea woman with an accent you could form planets around and rampant undiagnosed ADHD. She had magical hands, found the knots, and the only drawback (depending on your point of view) was that there was no point to the relaxing massage music in the background because she did not. Shut. Up. The whole time I was there. I learned all about her problems with her knees, her problems with her mother, how she prefers her new offices because the old ones were overlooking a nursery which was too loud for relaxing, her problems with her knees, her relief that two people have left the business next door because they kept day drinking, her latest fight with her brother, and her problems with her knees.

She only stopped when she found a new knot, and needed to chase it. My back was varyingly described as "dreadful", "terrible", "bugger me I've found another one", "my god there's tight you are", and "your back is knackered. No wait, I shouldn't say that, sorry. Ruined, it's ruined it is."

It was cheaper than the brothel and she gave me a loyalty card. So I think it's my new regular. Also I feel much better than this morning, so shout out to her. 10 out of 10.

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oh I do love the Leverage Gloat when the mark has only met one or two of the leveragers. POV you are being arrested for corporate malfeasance and your company’s inept new IT guy, a european duchess, and three random weirdos are lined up with their arms folded smugly like a boyband

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tacroyy

LMAO YELLING!!! this is from diana wynne jones to her editor—

Dear Miriam, I have been on the phone to Terry Pratchett who sent me a rough draft of a story which is going to be very good, but he is very anxious to know at what stage in the process he actually gets the money.
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rimonoroni

“i’m not the same as who i was before [x] thing happened to me” does it help to know that you would not have stayed that person regardless

added a graphic to elaborate on the specifics of what i’m trying to say.

basically, everybody changes all the time for all sorts of reasons. don’t let the myth of static selfhood trick you into thinking you’re unworthy. the only way to go is forward, which would be the case no matter what, and that’s okay.

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snaxle

i know most people following me dont care about the weather, but i really need to share this because im genuinely gonna throw the fuck up dying of laughter over whoever runs this national weather service account on twitter fighting for their lives

i could feel the poor poor national weather service employee who was stuck responding to all these people's pure aggravation and annoyance with every face palming emoji they used

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ritavonbees

Climbing Lightly Through Forests, an anthology in honour of Ursula K Le Guin, came out last year, might be eligible for a Hugo and contains a poem of mine. The poem might be eligible for a Rhysling? Anyway I posted it on Twitter and Facebook a little while ago so I'm sharing it here now.

I also just found the notebook I drafted it in so, as a treat, here are the notes I took while rereading Dancing At The Edge Of The World in preparation for writing this poem

As I wrote on Twitter, I do find it interesting that when I try to find the Space Crone essay online, what I do get is various people referencing it or writing about it, and many of them read it in a very gender essentialist way - like what it's *about* is the unique experience of menopause, as opposed to the social roles assigned to women of various ages and life experiences, and the unique perspective a person develops when they embrace their changing social identity. Le Guin may not have known the phrase "biological essentialism" but she definitely expressed views against it on several occasions, so it's... jarring.

On an unrelated but very fun note, did you spot the Welsh poetry reference in the dark and stormy night essay notes? @becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys taught me a bit about Welsh poetry years ago and I've forgotten most of it, head like a sieve, etc, but I was pleased to see two interests dovetail like that.

thinking about social-hormonal symbolism again after shaving off my one month on T protostache to go hang out with my vaguely transphobic family and then sitting there with the old ladies who all have more hair on their upper lips than i just removed 🤝🤝🤝

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Hey, happy Earth Day! Who wants to talk about climate change?

Yeah, okay, fair, I kinda figured the answer to that would be "ugh do we have to?" What if I told you I have good news though? Good news with caveats, but still good news.

What if I told you that since the Paris Agreement in 2015, we've avoided a whole degree celsius of global warming by 2100, or maybe more?

Current projections are 2.7C, which is way better than the 3-5C (with a median of 3.7C) we were expecting in 2015. It's not where we want to be - 1.5C - but it is big, noticeable progress!

And it's not like we either hit 1.5C and avoid all the big scary consequences or fail to hit 1.5C and get all of them - every tenth of a degree of warming we avoid is going to prevent more severe problems like extreme weather, sea level rise, etc.

This means that climate change mitigation efforts are having a noticeable impact! This means a dramatically better, safer future - and if we keep pushing, we could lower the amount of global warming we end up with even further. This is huge progress, and we need to celebrate it, even though the fight isn't over.

It's working. Keep going.

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sinnahsaint

That’s right. It took effort and it was a real concern, but because of that effort and many others, the ozone layer is healing, acid rain isn’t melting our statues and buildings anymore, whale populations are increasing back to pre-whaling levels.

We ARE able to change our planet for the better. We have proof. Let’s keep up the good work.

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x0401x

So I just saw a post by a random personal blog that said “don’t follow me if we never even had a conversation before” and?????? Not to be rude but literally what the fuck??????????

I’ve had people (non-pornbots) try to strike conversation out of nowhere in my DMs recently, and now I’m wondering if they were doing that because they wanted to follow me and thought they needed to interact first. I feel compelled to say, just in case, that it’s totally okay to follow this blog (or my side blog, for that matter) even if we’ve never talked before.

Also, I’m legit confused. Is this how follow culture works right now? It was worded like it’s common sense but is that really a thing?

Saw a sharp increase in my follower count after posting this. The legitimacy of it is driving me nuts so I also feel the need to say that you can follow anyone on here regardless of whether you’ve interacted with them or not. People like the above mentioned blog are exceptions. Perhaps they themselves think they aren’t and therefore will act like they aren’t, but they are, trust me.

Just follow anyone you wanna follow. The worst thing that can happen is maybe getting soft-blocked by the other person, but if they do soft-block you, then they were never that worth following in the first place.

wow. really hope this isn't actually a norm taking hold with new users! this isn't facebook, you don't need to know people before following them

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westiec

this is the '10 year mutuals you've never spoken to once' site

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startrekgifs

Follow! REBLOG! It's how the site works!!

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