me as a 14th century knight: this sucks i'm gonna fms (translator's note: fall on my sword)

Alternatively: fuck my squire

[remembers falling on my sword jokes negatively impact my knight's oath] ...fuck my squire

The Lion King: It is impossible to CGI photorealistic lions who can also emote!

Chronicles of Narnia:

i am so angry about how perfect this gif is.

new years eve!!! wooo!!! go crazy go wild! 🥳🥳🥳

happy new years! be a faggot!!!! thats an order! !

THIS STILL APPLIES !!!

tubi is one of our greatest warriors in the fight against streaming services costing a fortune for mediocre content. tubi has the most insane collection of movies you will ever encounter all for free. it has cult classics and questionable lifetime movies and movies that nobody except like three people on the planet have ever seen. tubi has movies that doesn’t exist. like if you just thought of a movie one day but never made it and no one ever made it it would somehow still exist on tubi. one day i will log onto tubitv dot com and i will see terribly inappropriate, overly complex, and strange on there. and i won’t even be surprised.

Tubi is where I found this gem:

my goal for 2025 is small simple and clear: change my whole entire life

tomorrow i will get my life together. if i’m not sleepy

very fucked up that you can try insanely hard your whole life to make all the right choices and yet you can’t escape bad outcomes. like what the flip

sorry my perverse desires are confusing should i kill myself should we invite sigmund freud

Reblog if you're hoping 2011 will be a fresh start.

It's important to drink a lot of fluids when you're sick so that your body has the raw materials to generate gallons of snot.

I learned recently that mucus basically traps the viruses and expels them from your body which is why your body makes SO MUCH of it so now I just imagine drinking liquids as hiring a bunch of goons to take out the thrash y'see nyeehh see we taking back the streets from the bowler hat boys flush em out real good

Perhaps there are many problems which could be solved if you just made enough mucus

Reblog if you are solving problems by generating enough mucus

I think I'm causing problems by generating too much mucus.

Frank Paton - Witness my Act and Deed (1882)

Absolutely fucking dying over the name of this painting. We've had cats figured out since day fucking one

Also dying because the cat is indeed witnessing (i.e., signing) the act and deed (the document getting ink spilled on it).

You know the problem with reading a book? You get hooked and then it ends and you feel sad

This post is cancelled, I have found a new book and everything is all right again

By Talos this cannot be happening

"save me, substance abuse!" i cry. before you can moralize to me about the dangers of addiction, a noble and powerful steed gallops into the room - my horse whom i have named "substance abuse". you learn an important lesson about making assumptions. i snort a line off its back

it’s so bizarre when animated American films are set in a certain location and then only certain characters have the accents of that place. It makes no damn sense!! like

WHY IS SHE MORE FRENCH THAN THE REST OF THEM???

WHY ARE THESE GUYS MORE SCOTTISH THAN THE KIDS??

(also, aren’t they Vikings or something?)

To be fair, almost everyone in Ratatouille does have a French accent. The real question is why Linguini and also all the rats sound intensely American

If it was just the rats I’d say it’s because the movie can be interpreted to mean that the rats understand but don’t necessarily speak human languages so the rat dialog isn’t literally taking place the way we see it but that doesn’t explain why Linguini has a rat accent

LINGUINI HAS A RAT ACCENT 

Do we ever hear like

For sure that Linguini grew up in France tho?

It could be possible he’s just an American immigrant

I mean his name is Alfredo Linguini so I always assumed he was Italian

I’m sorry his first name is Alfredo?

What

ALFREDO???

he’s American you guys his mother was American it was mentioned in the beginning

I’m sorry, I’ve moved on to the fact his mother was going through her cupboard for baby names

Alfredo was a name before it was a sauce let’s go over the movie from the top again

This is Alfredo di Lelio (right) the inventor of fettuccine Alfredo, he’d come out to the table and make it in front of you by hand

The chap on the left is an airport

I think you might have your left and right mixed up, my friend

Great post everyone. Hit the showers.