Andrew Hussie restarted making Homestuck. One of the characters had a bowling pin with Jerma985 written on it.
The teeth I buried years ago grew into a titan that attacked my city. :((
Dan and Phil bought my parents’ house.
There was a new Mario Party game meant purely to insult the American education system
My physics teacher and I were partners in investigating an international drug smuggling operation.
I was in the kitchen watching my parents have a little spat, and I got this crazy déjà-vu because I’d just had a dream where my mom and dad were really angry with each other, and considering a divorce, but my dog died and fixed that, which is weird because I didn’t have a dog yet, and also I’ve never remembered another dream.
I made a joke in my dream that I know is a banger. I remember it has cultural significance, a pun, relevant, and funny. I woke up and I can't remember the punchline. I need the punchline so I can draw it and post it as an official cartoon of our school's official publication.
I was chased by alligators, and, to my surprise, a baby alligator was a human baby with the tail of an alligator like some kind of fucked-up mermaid.
i ate my art coursework. :(
Injecting frozen rat blood into people’s veins made them hallucinate.
I woke up only remembering the phrase “lobster stabbing French in the eye” and I’m scared of finding out what that means.
My parents legally renamed me “Awesome Lemon Palm”.
I could buy my way to Heaven. When I woke up, I spent my funds on a necklace.
Coffee adverts had come under fire for being “too gendered” and all the human actors in them were immediately replaced with “Furby: The Non-Binary Icon”.
Sabrina Carpenter wrote a song called “Who needs a boyfriend when I have a dog” about how men’s company is useless compared to the companionship of a dog and I was crying so hard bc I love my puppy so much and I woke up crying as well.
My dad told me he sold weed. When I went to check, it was actually salsa.
There was a list of Minecraft creepypasta entity romances and there were seven items on the list but they were out of order.