no no listen i don't want a girlfriend or boyfriend. i want an observant jewish partner who wants to get married and foster/adopt kids with me but we're also both aroace and it's actually a platonic life partnership and everyone at our synagogue is like "what a weird charming couple. hope they're happy"

You all know about Yente Over the Rainbow, right?

YOTR is such a mess😭😭 I matched with literally every single person I know, and we were NOT romantic/ relationship material

I think the pool there is (currently) too small to be effective

Insert confused kid meme: you guys get matches on YOTR?

Been on there since 2019, I've had maybe 30 matches total and that includes the really fetishistic stuff I get every time I change my profile to match to non-Jews on the optimistic idea that that only means converts-in-process and not folks who are fetishizing nose sizes.

lol real

I've gotten maybe 20 matches, I think I joined in 2020-21? and of those 20, I knew at least 16....

There are goyim on YOTR????

I checked the ones I got matched to in 2023 and the profiles are still active and unchanged, so, yep, there are goyim on YOTR.

That's uhhhhhh

tbf I have no idea if they've ever gone back to the site after making their profiles. YOTR's biggest weakness is that it doesn't email you when you have matches, so you just have to know to check the site twice a week.

no no listen i don't want a girlfriend or boyfriend. i want an observant jewish partner who wants to get married and foster/adopt kids with me but we're also both aroace and it's actually a platonic life partnership and everyone at our synagogue is like "what a weird charming couple. hope they're happy"

You all know about Yente Over the Rainbow, right?

YOTR is such a mess😭😭 I matched with literally every single person I know, and we were NOT romantic/ relationship material

I think the pool there is (currently) too small to be effective

Insert confused kid meme: you guys get matches on YOTR?

Been on there since 2019, I've had maybe 30 matches total and that includes the really fetishistic stuff I get every time I change my profile to match to non-Jews on the optimistic idea that that only means converts-in-process and not folks who are fetishizing nose sizes.

No, not really but I was hoping it was just me and that it worked for other people.

But also, what? There's a non-Jewish match option? Doesn't that defeat the actual purpose of the site?? (Would think they'd include converts-in-progress by calling them converts-in-progress...)

Yeah, I figure they put it there either so that non-Jews (and not converting, who I count as Jews for this purpose) have a way to admit to being not Jewish without lying, OR they put it there for converts in progress and didn't realize the other uses it might have (I know they said on a call or two that they monitor profiles, my actual experience with this is that They Do Not).

My personal assumption on the site would be that converts-in-progress would tag themselves with their denomination just like everyone else, but every so often I'm like "maybe I should include that option", and then immediately get two matches and look at the profile and it's literally fetishistic nonsense. So then I remove that and I'm back to 8 months straight without a match.

Back when they were starting up the site, I attended a call about it and some folks on the call were treating it like a site you could browse profiles instead of a SYAS knockoff, and at the time I was like "but it's supposed to be a SYAS knockoff" but now I realize they were right and this should be a site where you can browse profiles, otherwise you start to feel like you're the only queer Jew in the entire world.

One of the most exhausting thing about being a queer frum Jew is that you are still in the generation of the ones who have to build all the infrastructure. I just have to remind myself "when I was 20, I would have loved a site where I get maybe 3 matches a year."

So it's like the "goy" options on jumblr polls. Makes sense, I guess. And anyone who checks off that option for potential matches knows what they're checking off — or thinks they know, given your experience, what you reasonably thought it would be, and what it actually ended up being like.

Do you think maybe they didn't set it up so you could browse profiles for anonymity reasons? There's nothing preventing someone who isn't a queer Jew from creating an account, so it could potentially be dangerous for those who have profiles with a picture.

I get you. We're here, we're frum, and we're queer, but we're also one of the communities the least likely to be open about it, which makes it feel like 'I'm here, I'm queer, but I'm the only one here'.

The anonymity is a good reason to be concerned and it's definitely something I've thought about, but no, my vague recollection is that they did it as matchmaking because it was meant to be the queer equiv of SYAS. At that time it was algorithm based and they kept saying they were gonna get human matchmakers. I do not know if thye've done that, it's been a while since I've been on an Eshel call. I did hilariously once attend a "speed dating" event that had no relevance whatsoever to speed dating, it was so so so badly done. They've done ones since then, I haven't bothered.

It just sucks that this is the only option. I tried to join a facebook shidduch group but got rejected for mystifying reasons, and that's a place to be even more concerned about anonymity.

no no listen i don't want a girlfriend or boyfriend. i want an observant jewish partner who wants to get married and foster/adopt kids with me but we're also both aroace and it's actually a platonic life partnership and everyone at our synagogue is like "what a weird charming couple. hope they're happy"

You all know about Yente Over the Rainbow, right?

YOTR is such a mess😭😭 I matched with literally every single person I know, and we were NOT romantic/ relationship material

I think the pool there is (currently) too small to be effective

Insert confused kid meme: you guys get matches on YOTR?

Been on there since 2019, I've had maybe 30 matches total and that includes the really fetishistic stuff I get every time I change my profile to match to non-Jews on the optimistic idea that that only means converts-in-process and not folks who are fetishizing nose sizes.

lol real

I've gotten maybe 20 matches, I think I joined in 2020-21? and of those 20, I knew at least 16....

There are goyim on YOTR????

I checked the ones I got matched to in 2023 and the profiles are still active and unchanged, so, yep, there are goyim on YOTR.

no no listen i don't want a girlfriend or boyfriend. i want an observant jewish partner who wants to get married and foster/adopt kids with me but we're also both aroace and it's actually a platonic life partnership and everyone at our synagogue is like "what a weird charming couple. hope they're happy"

You all know about Yente Over the Rainbow, right?

YOTR is such a mess😭😭 I matched with literally every single person I know, and we were NOT romantic/ relationship material

I think the pool there is (currently) too small to be effective

Insert confused kid meme: you guys get matches on YOTR?

Been on there since 2019, I've had maybe 30 matches total and that includes the really fetishistic stuff I get every time I change my profile to match to non-Jews on the optimistic idea that that only means converts-in-process and not folks who are fetishizing nose sizes.

No, not really but I was hoping it was just me and that it worked for other people.

But also, what? There's a non-Jewish match option? Doesn't that defeat the actual purpose of the site?? (Would think they'd include converts-in-progress by calling them converts-in-progress...)

Yeah, I figure they put it there either so that non-Jews (and not converting, who I count as Jews for this purpose) have a way to admit to being not Jewish without lying, OR they put it there for converts in progress and didn't realize the other uses it might have (I know they said on a call or two that they monitor profiles, my actual experience with this is that They Do Not).

My personal assumption on the site would be that converts-in-progress would tag themselves with their denomination just like everyone else, but every so often I'm like "maybe I should include that option", and then immediately get two matches and look at the profile and it's literally fetishistic nonsense. So then I remove that and I'm back to 8 months straight without a match.

Back when they were starting up the site, I attended a call about it and some folks on the call were treating it like a site you could browse profiles instead of a SYAS knockoff, and at the time I was like "but it's supposed to be a SYAS knockoff" but now I realize they were right and this should be a site where you can browse profiles, otherwise you start to feel like you're the only queer Jew in the entire world.

One of the most exhausting thing about being a queer frum Jew is that you are still in the generation of the ones who have to build all the infrastructure. I just have to remind myself "when I was 20, I would have loved a site where I get maybe 3 matches a year."

no no listen i don't want a girlfriend or boyfriend. i want an observant jewish partner who wants to get married and foster/adopt kids with me but we're also both aroace and it's actually a platonic life partnership and everyone at our synagogue is like "what a weird charming couple. hope they're happy"

You all know about Yente Over the Rainbow, right?

YOTR is such a mess😭😭 I matched with literally every single person I know, and we were NOT romantic/ relationship material

I think the pool there is (currently) too small to be effective

Insert confused kid meme: you guys get matches on YOTR?

Been on there since 2019, I've had maybe 30 matches total and that includes the really fetishistic stuff I get every time I change my profile to match to non-Jews on the optimistic idea that that only means converts-in-process and not folks who are fetishizing nose sizes.

The "you can't use the term Nazi to refer to a Jew" rule applies even when they are helping Nazis.

But good news for you! We already have a term for a Jew who collaborates with Nazis.

They're called a kapo.

Have a great day.

This distinction is important because the Nazis certainly don't forget that the Jew is a Jew.

2025 Challenge: let Jewish holidays be about Jews.

Bachelorette party for a guy who’s swearing fealty to his liege 2morrow 🎂🗡️👰🛡️🎉

#instead of strippers they have like. Voice of America presenters shilling democracy#one last temptation before commitment to romanticized authoritarianism#also i’m very sad that i cannot connect this to any canon events or worldbuilding in#vorkosigan saga#but it’s there somewhere#just offscreen#i can feel it#like#duv goes drinking by himself at terrible radical-adjacent bars in Solstice right before submitting his Academy app (southern-continent-skies)

I'M LISTENINGGGGGG

Protip: when you're setting up the menorah, melt a candle in the shamash spot when you're melting in the other candles. Light your candles either from a lighter/match or from an extra candle from the 99 cent box.

This is the only way I have found that avoids the awkward don't-burn-your-hands dance with melting in the shamash after lighting a middle shamash menorah.

at a phase in my life where when i get the sense a book is trying to offer me Representation (TM) i hiss and scream and start kicking and ripping bricks out of the wall. this character's Coherent Identity And Articulation Of Their Issues had Better fit in with the rest of the worldbuilding (it won't)

meet my new oc blorbinia who introduces herself to other people in fantasyland with exacting microlabels based on her recurring visions of Social Media Identity Discourse from this world. it is her goal in life to establish as many other people's labels as possible because she believes if you die without knowledge of your Correct Terms then the gods don't know what Community you belong to and your soul roams the empty betweenspace of the afterlife forever.

hilarious that it's easier to buy matzah for hanukkah than a fucking dreidel

I had a little matza

I made it out of wheat

And when it's dry and crumbly

This is the wrong fucking holiday

Oh matza matza matza

The "No True Scotsman" fallacy should be renamed to the "No True Christian" fallacy based on how often I see Christians (both progressive Christians and conservative/evangelical Christians) use it to claim other Christians shouldn't count because they're doing Christianity wrong.

Also for the record: 99% of the things the "not real Christians" are doing is in fact very normal Christianity going back 2000 years and throughout Europe and their colonies

A short list of very real Christian atrocities that had religious backing and support from not just one weirdo church but most churches: the Inquisition, the Crusades (multiple), colonialism in the Americas and Caribbean, colonialism in Africa, raping murdering and pillaging for Jesus, forced conversions, trans Atlantic slavery, pogroms (anti Jewish lynch mobs), anti Black lynch mobs, I could go tf on but we'd be here all day

Mainstream Christianity is and has always been a terror and a horror show to non Christians

Jewish queer people deserve to be safe in queer spaces.

@starflutters im going to take you at your word that you want to be a jewish ally and invite you to reflect on your tags

the problem here is that you have made several assumptions and leapt to a conclusion

your logic is extrapolating the statement far beyond its original point and assuming various negative implications.

“jewish people feel unsafe in queer spaces” becomes “jewish people feel unsafe because queer people are more likely to be pro-palestine” becomes “jewish people think that being pro-palestine is antisemitic” becomes “jewish people want palestinians to die”

now i’ve obviously taken these assumptions further than you did, but i do so to illustrate a point. this automatic instinct to assume the worst when seeing a jewish person make a post you agree with is one of the ways antisemitism manifests. this is one of the things that make jewish people feel unsafe. constantly having people assume you mean something you don’t is incredibly frustrating, and having it happen constantly drives people out of spaces.

in the future, i invite you to try to notice when you make these automatic negative assumptions, and not give them as much weight. if you agree with the statement that jewish people deserve to be safe in queer spaces, just reblog it. it’s as simple as that. and importantly, put your belief into action by addressing antisemitism in queer spaces.

One of the reasons I don't feel comfortable in a lot of queer spaces is precisely because there are so many people who say shit like those tags. I do not feel safe around people who make those kinds of assumptions when I talk about antisemitism.

[Image description: a screenshot of tags from Tumblr user @/starflutters that say "ok so i'm reblogging because i support this, i support the text of the message, i agree, but the subtext is that Jewish people are unsafe in queer spaces because queer spaces are overwhelmingly pro-Palestine, so it's implied that to be Jewish is to be Zionist and to be against the actions of the state of Israel is to be anti-Semitic, which is a priori false, but nonetheless i do support Jewish people and Jewish queers in their personhood, complicated message". End ID.]

"The devious Jew must mean all of these secret things i assume they mean but didn't say" hmmm yes and again, why do you think Jews don't feel safe in community with you?

We don't feel safe in queer spaces not because you're pro-Palestine, but because enough of you are violently (and I use that term on purpose) Pro-Hamas. Would you, as a queer person, feel safe around someone who vocally and proudly believes in corrective rape and the "gay panic defense" as a legitimate legal strategy? Would you feel safe around someone who views the Pulse Nightclub Shooter as a hero and someone to rally for and chant on his behalf? Would you, as a queer person, feel safe around homophobes who vocally feel that conversion therapy isn't sufficient, and views chemical castration or even capital punishment as more appropriate?

Because when queer people chant "There is only one solution, Intifada Revolution" and "Sinwar, Sinwar, we will not forget you!", as well as classics like "min il-ṃayye la-l-ṃayye / Falasṭīn ʿarabiyye" ("From water to water, Palestine is Arab") and "Khaybar, Khaybar, ya yahud! Jaish Muhammad soufa yaʿoud!" ("Khaybar, Kharbar, Oh Jews, the armies of Muhammad will return!")...

Well, that's basically saying to us Jews, "We're excited about and looking forward to the time when you're enslaved or, hopefully, excruciatingly tortured to death over the period of several days by people who will treat your screams and pleas for mercy like fine wine."

So...

Why would we feel safe around people who are saying that... and around people for whom that's not a dealbreaker?

I have not felt safe or welcome in queer spaces for a long long long long long time and it's because of Christian antisemitism from people who do not consider themselves Christian because they're atheists now and since they think religion and culture are seperate, are unwilling to believe that they can be replicating Christian antisemitism even as they do so, so they have no self-awareness and resent it when it's pointed out to them. Folks who say "god hates shrimp!", repeat shaatnez jokes, and make fun of my religion, or claim you can't be religious and queer at the same time.

I've said this before but I still think it's true:

Right-wing antisemitism: being Jewish is bad because you should be Christian instead!

Left-wing antisemitism: being Jewish is bad because religion is bad!

Both of them want Jews to stop being Jews, they just differ in their rhetoric for how they want to accomplish their shared goal.

The americans don't have שקדי מרק

Cue the sad violins

I have them!

...but I'm Canadian, not American

So happy to hear that

we have them they are more common in New England to my understanding but I’ve seen soup with almonds down here to

Buddy, this is a mistranslation

I wrote in Hebrew for a reason

These are שקדי מרק:

then why is it called soup almonds

Hell if I know

Bruh we call them croutons and people will to get and extra scoop

The Americans do so have these, if you know where to look.

So here's my story about being out on my own and needing to get some croutons.

I go to the local regular grocery store, which has a kosher section. I don't look in the kosher section, though. Grocery stores stock kosher stuff in amongst the non-kosher stuff all the time. There's an aisle that says "croutons". These things are croutons. There are no other croutons in the world. This is where I should go to get myself some croutons.

I go to the croutons aisle in the store and see... salad croutons. Which I had never encountered before.

I wander through, confused and frustrated. Where are croutons? You know, real croutons? Soup croutons???????? Are there... where are they??????? Do goyim not put croutons in soup??????? What do goyim put in soup if not croutons????????????????

Anyway that's the story of me learning they're in the kosher section only. (Target stocks them, too.) And I still don't know why goyim haven't discovered the pure joy of these things. I will eat them straight out of the carton.

You fought God behind a Denny’s? Did you ask Him about the problem of evil? Or for a better world? Did you ask what gender an androginos is? What was even the point??

#This is my orthodox reaction to “fighting God”#Like wow we are approaching this from two very very different directions#Btw the gender thing isn’t a joke there’s a tosfos that say that only heaven knows the true gender of the androginos#(Tosfos to b.Niddah 28a sv. Shenemar) - snissel613