Thank her. She did so much for the lgbtq community

First Glam Kitchen vid I've seen in ages. Crazed as ever. :->

They really should teach people how to cook in school.

song: in the hall of the mountain king

that is honestly one of the best-timed and best-edited videos as if the music were made for the text or the text were made to the music and perfectly

this from the guy who wrote the sting pain index, a scale he constructed after letting himself be stung by insects

“why did i start this list” pleaseeeeeee this is so funny

his descriptions were extremely on-point, and frankly inspiring when writing a hurt/comfort scene

Instagram poets could never!

Tim was four days into a sleep deficit so he felt that to say that this predicament was his fault was a bit of a reach.

For it to be his fault he would have had to cognizant of the last 16 hours.

All he wanted to do was take a power nap in the nearest closest durring the Waynetech gala but nooo Bruce had to be taken hostage by the Joker.

So he did what he thought would work best and shoved uncle Clark into the nearest emergency bat storage and told him to suit up.

Maybe he looked a bit more confused than normal but they didn’t need a reporter they needed Batman!

That being said wasn’t uncle Clark supposed to be off-world?

Oh no.

———————

Jack honestly had no clue what was happening for the last six months so when he was told to be Batman he merely just shrugged as the frankly exhausted teen left him to his own.

With his son turning out to be part ghost to the government hunting down his said son and having to move shop halfway across the continent.

This might as well happen.

Grinning like a kid on Christmas, Jack plopped on the finishing touch.

“Oh Danno is not going to believe this!”

Raising a cloaked arm with a flourish Jack struck a pose.

“Alrighty Jack enough messing around! Time to save the party, Fenton style!

Shifting his feet, Jack took a deep breath before smoothing his face the best he could. After all, couldn’t have a smiling Batman! Before walking out the room and taking running leap through the wall to the streets of Gotham before grappling to the nearest building.

Listen

Joker is at the gala

Bruce is at the gala

They have to be

Tim shoved Jack in a closet at the gala, so he could change and save the day at the gala

Jack then jumped out the wall and fucking left to deal with the rest of the city

JOKER IS FURIOUS

SPITTING MAD

Chasing Jackman through town in a desperate bid to reclaim his attention

Possibly with Bruce in tow, having the most surreal experience of his life

Jack is a goddamn natural with the grapples too he flies like a bird and lands like a tank

The rogues he encounters are TERRIFIED of new Batman he’s somehow gotten even worse, he used the explode walls with explosives not just HIS FUCKING BODY

There is a petition among the bat kids to keep “new Batman” forever

Jack signs it too when they finally catch him

batsy isn't having good time. but Jack is!

Oh no! ⍤⃝

I'm making everything gay again 💖

D - (whispering) Tim quick! d - (whispering ) Send it to Alfred. T - (whispering) And the Batcave’s server! 2021 Summer +  beach 

Ghost children and the worthless treaty

The DC dimension had faced multiple dangers: invasions, threats, multiple ends of the world, demons. And yet what finally defeated the heroes were children.

The Ghost King was the one who took care of the children for the most part (because he understood them). Which was a terrible idea considering he was a teenager himself and all of his knowledge was pretty skewed towards his own children. Another thing to take into account: his two children were 24 and 14 years old (but not really? He said it was complicated)

So when the Justice League finally contacted him about establishing an alliance, the king gave them a test, that if they completed it they would establish a peaceful alliance immediately and he would owe them a favor. Danny didn't mind making alliances but he needed a few days off from his own children.

When they heard of the test, the heroes accepted, trusting in his abilities. Take care of children? Piece of cake, they had Young Justice and it wouldn't be much different. The king smiled with all his fangs and told them to take care of his children's friends as well. To which Constantine had a horrible premonition.

The League did not expect the problem that would be keeping "Dan and Dani" Phantom in check. Along with Youngblood and Klemper. The four of them much preferred Danny's care, and were not at all thrilled with the situation.

The appearance of the ghostly "teenagers" didn't make it any better, and Batman began to question if it was worth it. Dan Phantom claimed that it could be worse, since he was technically "grounded" and couldn't hurt anyone. Dani teased him about it.

Constantine knew it wasn't worth it.

They only had to look after the menaces for a week. And yet somehow even Bruce was running on fumes by day three. He was sorely tempted to call Alfred in as backup. Surely he could help corral these kids? He had pulled his kids and the Young Justice in as backup, and somehow that had made everything worse. Dan and Dani were a terrible influence. Jason and Dan got on like a house on fire. Which was worrying, especially when they disappeared for a few hours and returned grinning ferally. Bruce fervently hoped that didn't mean what he thought it did. But frankly at this point he wasn't holding his breath. Dani had found out Kon was also a clone. And hearing about how Clark had originally treated him had started a series of pranks on him. She roped all of Kon's team into it.

Usually the Young Justice would never do something like this. But somehow Dani had convinced them. It was probably the knowledge that Dani would be able to get the drop on Clark that emboldened the brats honestly. Usually they couldn't manage to get Clark. But these kids were far better able to sneak around and cause issues.

Youngblood kept disappearing and none of the adults could ever find him. They set Jon on the case. The youngest Superboy was best suited. But then he was roped into the other kids nonsense. Youngblood had apparently decided Lex Luthor was in need of an attitude readjustment and roped Jon into his war on Luthor corp. Jon was all for it, Lex had hurt his family more than enough. Youngblood was happy to use his powers to raid many of Lex's bases with Jon as backup, to help him carry their 'loot'.

And Klemper. He was a sweet boy. But far too clingy. He had not let Diana out of his sites all week. Apparently she reminded him of someone. Diana had to deal with her little shadow all week. He didn't mean to cause chaos. But it just seemed things happened in his wake. Especially if someone tried to hurt Diana. She had been stuck on the watchtower since day two.

Bruce could not wait for the week to end. Thankfully Constantine had stuck around. The kids seemed to enjoy his company for some reason. Constantine hated it, which honestly made it all the more amusing. By this point the watchtower was hosting most of the league and their children. Trying to keep an eye on everything was exhausting. They managed to tire the Flash family. Bruce had never seen Barry look so tired outside of world ending threats appearing.

Just a few more days Bruce, you can manage this. Although he had a sinking feeling this wasn't going to be the last time he saw them. His kids, and Clark's were attached. He was going to have to warn Alfred. Even his Damian had been roped into the prank attacks. Dan had touted it as 'harmless guerrilla warfare practise'. He had a terrible feeling Damian would be joining in more after this week ended. On the one hand, it was good. Damian was finally doing something age appropriate. On the other, with his training as it was, Damian was going to be a terror with this new insight of his.

Bruce just wanted one hour of peace. But Dan had taken it upon himself to prank him. A lot. Apparently he was avenging his new friend. Jason had apparently been telling stories. Bruce had given up trying to avoid them. Clark was still trying his best. He was not yet resigned to the inevitability of the pranks.

King Phantom was a saint or a madman. Bruce couldn't tell. And he respected the man immensely if this was what he was used to from his children. On top of that he ruled the Infinite Realms. Bruce had a moment of realisation. Oh that sneaky bastard! He quickly sent a message to Diana and Clark.

'The King has to deal with this every day. I believe he has taken the chance to have one week off. Just one, and touted it as a challenge. I suspect no matter how it ends up so long as nothing is burned down we will *pass*. Find out what makes them hyperactive, on the last day we should send them home with some gifts!'

There, that should help them relax a bit.

"Tampon Charlie can pay for his own shity tea party"

Anti-coronathion graffiti seen in London, referring to a leaked 1989 phone call when King Charles told Camilla that he wanted to reincarnated as one of her tampons.

Tampon Charlie is my new name for this git.

MEOW_IRL

Your wish is my command

Oo I’ve got an old one

extremely h*rny DC couples by Stjepan Šejić

Well, that’s one way to do it.

How Jason Met Tim, a Remix

To see the Red Hood is to see Death Himself, only he has dispensed with the cloak and cusses a lot more. Gotham's criminals tremble before him. Batman weeps at the sight of him.

Only Tim Drake does not stand in awe of him.

Tim Drake stands before him now, in all his 5 foot 4 inch glory, dressed in a Robin suit of his own and smacking bubble gum in his mouth.

“Bruce was all cut up about 'cha,” Tim says by way of greeting. “I wanted to see what all the fuss was about.” Tim scans the Red Hood impassively before blowing out a bubble with his gum. “Eh, I've seen better.”

Jason is nonplussed at this mouthy gremlin. Their meeting was not supposed to go like this. “Who've you seen better?”

“My best friend is Superboy. I've counted ten ab muscles on him. Have you got ten abs? Didn't think so. Check and mate.”

Oh no, he's a twink, Jason realizes. Still, he's going to battle him.

“Are we going to talk all night, or ...are we gonna fight?” Jason demands.

Tim shakes his head. “Pass. Patrol's over, and Bruce is gonna ground my ass if I'm home late again.”

“So what was the point of this!?”

“What, I can't see my shiny new brother?”

That stops Jason short. Brother? What the hell? He can barely process this as Tim looks down at his phone that's buzzing.

“Dick's texting me. He says my ass is grounded, and I better be safe. I...am...with...Jason,” Tim mutters as he types. Before Jason can react, Tim had sent the text. Within seconds, the phone is buzzing with frantic texts from Dick.

Tim puts his phone away as Jason finishes reading the erratic slew of texts. “Right, wanna hug?”

Jason recoils. “God, no.”

“Welp, looks like Dick is gonna have to settle for loving you from afar, ” Tim says, pocketing his phone. “Want some gum?”

“No.”

“Its double bubble berry flavored.”

“No!”

“Clever,” Tim says with a nod, pocketing the gum. “I had ingestible nano GPS trackers in them. Good intuition. You've passed the Timmy Test.”

“What.”

“Rule numero uno in the Timmy Handbook Of Success - Always assume that outside sources of food have ingestible trackers. If you do ingest something, take two insta-laxatives in a remote area and wait. Once passed, proceed to secondary hideout.”

Jason stared at the paranoid munchkin in front of him. There was no way that Bruce had raised this tiny freak. For some reason, Jason felt good about that.

“How did you become Robin?”

“I already knew that Bruce was Batman. I let myself into the cave and told him that he sucked ass without a Robin, and to take me on. Bruce told me to go away, but Alfred gave me dinner and let me stay. Haven't looked back since.”

Jason harrumphed. Tim continued to smack his gum. “Welp, I'm going home. If I'm late longer than ten minutes, Dick starts to cry.”

Yuck. “He was never that protective over me.”

“Yeah, but then you died.” Ouch, right in the kisser. “Also, I'm objectively cuter.”

How dare this twink, really. “Are not.”

“Am so. Superboy says so.”

“Get going before I punch you.”

Jason watched Tim swing away, and reached for his phone.

Hey Dickhead

Immediately, Jasons phone buzzed in response.

Jaybird! Are we speaking again? Yay!

Jason grinned. The noob wouldn't know what hit him.

Tim told me things that led me to infer that Superboy is hot for his tiny ass.

:O really?

There was a brief pause in messaging as Dick no doubt relayed this information to Bruce.

Bruce says that Tim is quadruple grounded. Tha ks for looking out for him, Jay!

Cackling, Jason tucked his phone away. That'd show Tim who was objectively cuter, and teach him to never mess with the Red Hood.

😂😂😂😂

I loooove thissss! The ingestible trackers and the laxatives omgggggg. And Jason ratting to Dick about Superboy omg 😂😂😂😂😂 this was the best ever.

Oh my god... the cat can't move because they have a human on

Red Hood is like if a theater kid was capable of being gritty

Not what I meant but I'm fascinated by the implications

Bruce: “Why is there a 300$ charge for an Elmo suit and 5 gallons of silver paint on my credit card?”

Batman's Spare Suits | Batman: Wayne Family Adventures #77 vs Detective Comics (1937) vs Batman (1940)

Bonus: 🌈 Rainbow Batman 🌈