i made a grindr and in under 24 hours i got the most insane unsolicited nude to ever exist. hes fully nude on the beach and in his right hand is a black tipped reef shark i could not make this shit up if i tried

artistic rendition

i fucking wish i had a way to prove this but a) passing around nudes is wrong even when its a 40 year old nudist shark freak and b) he unsent the messages bc my silence made him nervous ig. wish he was instead nervous about sharks around his panenis but im not his dad

btw another pic in the set he sent me was essentially the same photo but the shark was a fishing spear and his penis was erect this time. do you think he meant it as a metaphor thats kind of poignant symbolism

he looked almost regal in a florida man way

actually fuck do you guys think i ghosted Poseidon on grindr be honest its hurricane season and im on the gulf i mean did you SEE what that guy did to odysseus

btw yall being horny in the notes telling me i shouldve texted back dont understand the fact that i live in texas. this isnt your average beach man, him existing in texas adds a wildcard element that i dont really think exists in many other places.

this guy could be a jimmy buffet yacht dilf.

he could be a chaser redneck who likes fishing.

he could be in a niche nudist shark cult.

he couldve emerged from the seafoam like pegasus, black tipped reef shark in hand.

he could be the most mediocre man on earth.

he could be a tax advisor with a hobby.

he could be a serial killer.

he could be a sugar daddy.

he could be everything i want and yet ill never know because i never answered his siren song good god what have i done

i would fucking hope this isnt epic what did i JUST say about odysseus

Like to charge, reblog to cast.

you're not casting

they’re charging for the ultimate cast at 9th level

so embarrassing when i forget im checking someone's blog and i start scrolling through and liking and reblogging shit as if it's just my dash. it feels like wandering into someone else's apartment and not noticing and making myself lunch

reblog if i can wander into your apartment (blog) and make myself lunch (like and reblog as if it's my dash)

“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.

Good Job.

#this post gets me every time 

It’s from two days ago fam how many times could there have been

do you think no one else has time travel

Happy one month anniversary to this post that has not allowed me a single day of fucking peace since I made it.

#surprise reblog!! 

STOP IT’S BEEN MONTHS. MONTHS!

YOU CAN STOP.

wow if only you had a time machine

Honestly having reached a billion notes I think it’s safe to say that in the Year of our lord 2041, this is the most popular tumblr post out there.

I’m killing your parents before you’re born

:)

Still here, why’d you hesitate @derinthescarletpescatarian

Your mum’s ability to hold up under active gunfire was really hot. I’m your dad now.

Isn’t that the plot of Terminator

Where do you think the plot for Terminator came from?

This is such a classic trainwreck post that has the vibes of a 2014 screenshot posted to Pinterest and then the last addition is just last Tuesday I can’t even

Imagine how I feel

This post is a goldmine

This post is an eagle that has a taste for my liver

Instant reblog

Ow my liver

Reblog to feed an eagle!

them: you don’t watch game of thrones?? really? how come?

me: 

@scarcity-of-cats @annajanes

It’s called Unconsenting Media 

Oh my god, this is going on my list along with doesthedogdie.com

Holy shit that’s useful

I probably won’t find myself using this but for my followers: if you can’t handle this shit, USE THIS. If you think a movie or tv show may be hard to watch, do your homework.

1 - the very reason why I don’t watch GoT

2 - This and rotten apples are some of the best sites ever

3 - Does the dog die have a TON of subcategories, such as jumpscares, strobe effects, does a kid die, does an LGBT person dies and many, many others (they actually link to unconsenting media under “someone is sexually assaulted”). Please save it to tour favorites is really freaking usefull

Useful info. But… (and I sort of doubt it) is there a database like this for car and/or motorcycle accidents? I end up having to give up on lots of movies and shows because there’s often too much for me to handle still. Don’t really like playing the guessing game of “how traumatized is this gonna make me”

Does the Dog Die has car crashes, and if someone gets hit by a car

Seriously, they have a ton of things, and if they don’t, you can reach out to them and they’ll add a category

Hey y’all I know I haven’t posted in literal ages but here’s a bunch of sites who do this way better than I do!

I have epilepsy (among other things) and use these sites. When friends haven’t seen a show/movie and can’t inform me if it’s safe, I browse these sites. Saved me from having seizures.

as someone who never even realized there were websites with trigger warnings, this is absolutely incredible information

this is absolutely so helpful for a lot of people!! reblog to get this out more.

I don't really think it's fair to dismiss the idea that that guy might have been framed for killing the CEO as like an unfounded conspiracy theory when NYPD has a proven history of planting/fabricating evidence on people. in 2011 there was a massive investigation of the NYPD and hundreds of cases against people were dismissed after a former police officer testified that they literally have a name for planting evidence on people: flaking. you cannot be out here acting like considering the possibility that cops who do this shit under normal circumstances might possibly also do it when they're under intense global pressure and scrutiny is the same as republicans thinking democrats run a secret pedophile ring in the basement of a pizza restaurant

also it's kinda weird that some of you are treating the concept of presumption of innocence like a crazy leftist conspiracy instead of like. a fundamental right of the accused

even if you think him being innocent is unlikely, you should at least be able to understand why automatically treating him as if he is guilty just because the cops say so is a bad thing

Is it just me or are the new tumblr users convinced there's a penalty of some kind for using this site like it's meant to be used?

reblogs have always been in short supply for artists, sadly, but it's hitting the shitposts and even the cat pictures lately. Gotta keep getting the word out that reblogs are good and keep people posting new material that will be passed around for the next 12 years

They’re used to other social media sites, where the only equivalent of reblogging is straight-up content theft; so the idea that you can put someone else’s stuff on your page and have it not be a bad thing is a strange experience for them.

They’re likely also used to an algorithm recommending content based on what they hit “like” on, so they probably think that that’s how this works, too.

That and I think some people confuse “reblog” with “repost” so when they see someone saying “don’t repost” they think it applies to reblogging stuff.

Yeah it's a bummer, love that we have yearly nonsense dates. But we can't keep them if people don't participate

Once again reminding the gang that you can turn reblogs off

As in, if people don’t want you to reblog their stuff, you just plain can’t

No muss, no fuss, no asking and hoping people respect your boundaries

You turn that button off

If the reblog button is available on a post and it doesn’t contain the words “do not reblog this” in some form, you are invited to reblog it

Share content on your blog or watch it perish fam

I’ve reblogged the same posts multiple times just because I see them again and I’m like “Hell yeah still good” People who don’t want to reblog bamboozle me

I always have to start the New Years with this picture.

watching a movie at home circa like, 2001 was like

COMING SOON TO OWN ON VIDEO AND DVD

THX

Posts you can hear

Posts you can feel in your soul 😭😭

i dont consider myself a 'fashion guru' by any means but one thing i will say is guys you dont need to know the specific brand an item you like is - you need to know what the item is called. very rarely does a brand matter, but knowing that pair of pants is called 'cargo' vs 'boot cut' or the names of dress styles is going to help you find clothes you like WAAAYYYY faster than brand shopping

this also goes for aesthetic or -core titles. 'y2k tank top' is going to get you resellers and fast fashion brands advertising to people looking to meet a current trend. 'thin strap crop tank top' is going to get you a diverse group of results and not upcharge you to hell and back

additionally, shop second hand when you can, second hand and thrift sites typically organize clothes by the cut and color. theyll be more affordable than a depop seller curating you a style to sell you

useful terminology for different kinds of clothing shapes :)

The Very Basics of Not Killing Your Computer

If you have a laptop DO NOT use it on a soft surface like a pillow or on a blanket, it’ll block the vents on your computer and make it get really fucking hot inside.

If you have a desktop you gotta open it up and blow out the dust sometimes.

If you are moving your laptop in a bag turn the laptop off. Don’t put it to sleep, don’t just shut the screen, turn it off, because otherwise it’s in the bag generating heat and there’s nowhere for the heat to go in the bag. OFF. Not sleep. OFF.

Okay I know that should be obvious but drop damage to your hard drive is bad bad news. Be as careful as you can to set your computer gently on flat surfaces; don’t leave it hanging out on a bed where it can get knocked off, don’t set it on the roof of your car. And yes, just dropping it a couple inches can kill your hard drive or totally shatter your screen.

Look I’ve seen four people ruin their laptops because they had a pen on the keyboard and closed the laptop and it fucked up the screen and the keyboard and it sucks so much and you feel awful after it happens because it’s so avoidable just don’t put things on your keyboard and always check that your laptop is clear before you close it.

You’ve only got one power jack and a limited number of other inputs on your computer and if they detach from the motherboard you’re fucked. USB ports get damaged because people use them a lot and eventually it weakens the connection and then they just stop working and it sucks. You can get around this with USB ports by using a USB hub to connect things like your keyboard and mouse.

For your power plug you just gotta be careful. Avoid tripping over the cord at all costs, don’t yank the plug out of the computer. It will SUCK VERY MUCH A LOT if you have to buy a new computer because the power port lost contact with the motherboard.

Don’t move your computer with things plugged into it. Take the power cord off before you put your laptop in the bag, take out the USB mouse dongle, do not travel with little nubby bits sticking out of your computer that can easily get caught or get tweaked or snap off inside of the thing.

(I really can’t emphasize enough that most of the “it will cost more than it’s worth to fix this” laptops I see are because of USB ports and power jacks. People don’t seem to know that this isn’t something that can be fixed easily; a broken power jack is a “remove the motherboard and resoldier components” job, not a “plug a new one in in fifteen minutes” job and most computer repair shops aren’t going to solder things for you and if they DO it’s going to be very expensive)

You should probably restart more than once a month but whatever. This is actually something that I consider part of reducing heat stress because when your processor is straining to keep up with all the background bullshit that’s running from a program you opened three weeks ago it’s going to use up resources and get hot and look just restart it once in a while.

Also the updates are almost always okay and safe and generally running updates is a good and secure thing to do (though maybe follow a blog dedicated to the OS you run because if there IS a problem with the updates that blog will probably talk about it before the update gets forced on your computer)

Yes you should probably be running an antivirus.

Sophos is free and it’s fine. But don’t pay for it - if you’re using Sophos use the free version.

If you’re looking for something paid and a little more comprehensive I recommend ESET - get the cheap version, renewals cost less than the initial purchase, and feel free to get a multi-year version, the credentials follow your email not the computer so if your computer dies before your license expires you can install the license on a new computer.

DO NOT INSTALL NORTON OR MCAFEE THEY ARE EXPENSIVE BULLSHIT. Kaspersky is whatever. It’s less bullshit than Norton or McAfee but not as good as ESET for about the same cost.

If you think you’ve got a virus run the free version of Malwarebytes and get your shit cleaned.

Again this should be obvious and yet. But seriously, just make a rule for yourself that drinks aren’t allowed on the same table as your computer and you’ll save yourself a lot of headaches.

Okay I fucking hate amazon but here’s a thing you should be using, just search the rest of the internet for “surge protector/UPS” and you’ll find something that isn’t from amazon - APC is a solid brand for this.

Basically you want a fat surge protector that has a little bit of a battery backup and you want to plug your computer (desktop OR laptop) into that instead of into the wall. The benefit of this is twofold:

1) if there’s a power surge the UPS will prevent your computer’s power supply from getting fried and possibly frying parts of your motherboard

2) if there’s a power outage and you’re *at* your computer you’ll have enough time to save what you’re working on before your computer loses power (like, you’ll maybe only have a minute or two on a small UPS but that’s still time to hit CTRL S and keep from losing work)

At a bare, bare minimum your computer should be plugged into a surge protector but NOT directly into the wall.

[we interrupt this yelling for me to tell you that Western Digital has apparently released their new My Passport line and I’m obligated to inform you that you can get a 2.5″ USB 3.0 backup drive with FIVE FUCKING TERABYTES OF STORAGE for $130. Or you can get 4TB for $93. Or you can get 1TB for $53. basically what I’m saying is that it is not only cheap computer season it is also cheap hard drive season.]

[also if you’re getting a backup drive get western digital not seagate seagate fucking sucks and has a much higher failure rate]

Uh, okay, anyway - Do an image backup of your computer every once in a while so that if you get infected or your hard drive dies or whatever you can just restore from backup and move on like nothing happened.

HERE’S HOW TO DO AN IMAGE BACKUP.

You know what is cheap? USB Keyboards and USB mice. You know what is not cheap? Fixing the touchpad on a laptop or replacing a laptop keyboard.

Get yourself a USB hub, a USB Keyboard and a USB Mouse (wired or wireless, doesn’t matter) and if you’re using your laptop at home plug *that* into your computer.

Also if your keyboard on your laptop breaks it’s fine just to use a USB keyboard instead I promise; if the screen breaks it’s also usually cheaper and easier to get a used or inexpensive monitor than it is to replace the screen. Your laptop is basically just a very small version of whatever bullshit is going on inside a desktop, if the peripherals break but the core components are fine you can just use it like a desktop.

Unless it’s a piece of shit that doesn’t have any USB ports or video out in which case you got ripped off, friend, demand functionality in your devices I’m sorry.

/rant

An add-on tip if you are stupid like me and don’t back up your data: if your laptop suddenly dies and you want to get the data in it back, buy a SATA to USB cable (real cheap, I got mine for like $5 from AliExpress), extract your hard drive out from your laptop carefully, and then plug it in to your new/spare computer like you would plug in an external drive. If your hard disk isn’t dead, you can browse through like normal on Windows Explorer.

@bamsara

glad people are tagging me in this because they *know*

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Also don’t forget to defragment the hard drives. If your computer is still slow after a reboot then you need to Defrag the computer and it will boost your speeds.

Also do a update to all the drivers you have. Those don’t get updates when you update the os. I use Drive Booster on Steam. There is a free and a paid version.

You do not need to defragment your hard drives.

Modern operating systems don’t require defragging and already do it regularly, and defragging an SSD is totally unnecessary.

CONTEXT: I wrote/drew this in 2020. Lol. Happy New Year!

it's extremely critical that you see the photo of the perp walk for luigi mangione as being propaganda. i've seen so many people wave it off and instead fawn over his looks. and trust me, i know it ended up being kind of pathetic and weird - but please don't brush it off as a "modelling opportunity" for him. it's a fucking terrifying message the police are sending.

i want to make a few comparisons here, in case you're not from the US or familiar with why the perp walk thing is something to pay attention to. just to set the groundwork for why this is a purposeful, unusual, and cruel act by the nyc police - for why this is not a common occurrence and for why that matters.

the prosecution alleges the show of force is due to the charge of "terrorism." for comparison, in june 2015, tsarnaev was found guilty for the boston marathon bombing, which killed 3 people and injured hundreds. his actions are considered to be an act of domestic terrorism. i have spent the last hour looking through google for pictures of similar to mangione's perp walk - and so far, i have found zero. i also just do not personally remember a moment like that, despite living in boston at the time.

they allege that luigi is a stone-cold killer who carried out a longterm plan, making him particularly dangerous. again for comparison: in nyc, recently cory martin was found guilty of the killing of brandy odom. the murder was planned and premeditated to steal insurance money. and yet no staged perp walk. why didn't her life matter enough for a "show of force"?

but mangione gets paraded by a veritable army of police officers as if he is a rabid animal. for a single citizen who allegedly killed one other single citizen, the "largest perp walk ever" occurs.

so what is the "strong message" that the mayor and the police were trying to send here? the mayor speaks as if mangione is already convicted of terrorism. there is a very thin number of people who feel threatened by the CEO's death. none of us felt like mangione needs to be under massive armed guard.

the message is that you shouldn't resist. they are trying to "make an example" of him - that if you behave badly and kill a single rich person, you'll be treated as if you killed hundreds of people. you will be treated worse than a man who was found guilty of terrorism. you will be considered guilty without trial. the message is that the rich are a protected class, and you cannot touch them without massive punishment. they are trying to prevent a revolution by showing dominance and force against you.

the message is that the police are a puppet of the wealthy and that the law is not equally applied across class disparity. it is "some are more equal than others." it is "one life is more precious than another."

the show of force wasn't for luigi. it was for us. it was a warning. they are trying to remind us who is really in control.

Just to make this clear as crystal:

This is Timothy McVeigh's perp walk.

If you're not old enough or not American enough to know that name, he blew up a federal building in Oklahoma City in the mid-90s. 169 people died in the initial blast, 19 of them children and three of them pregnant women. A rescue worker, not counted in the previous number, was killed by falling debris while evacuating those inside. Close to 700 people were injured, over 300 other buildings were severely damaged, and McVeigh explicitly agreed that what he'd done was terrorism, and stated it was in direct retaliation for the Waco, TX and Ruby Ridge standoffs. It is important to note that McVeigh freely admitted his guilt; what you are seeing is the perp walk of a man who happily admitted to committing the largest act of domestic terrorism in the history of the United States. He wasn't yet convicted, but he himself said he was guilty. Also of note is that over 100 of his victims worked for the federal government, including six Secret Service agents. This is important because it adds additional charges; in the eyes of the law, killing a federal agent is worse than killing some random member of Joe Q. Public.

This is Luigi Mangione's perp walk.

He is alleged to have killed one adult civilian man in a direct and targeted shooting that did not endanger anyone else or cause any property damage.

He has pleaded not guilty and under United States law is considered innocent until determined otherwise beyond a reasonable doubt in a fair trial held by a jury of his peers.

My opinion of a politician has never fallen so far, so fast, as it has with Kathy Hochul and the way she's just shitting herself to console a bunch of rich spoiled white men by throwing this young man under the bus. I need you to understand it does not matter if Luigi Mangione is guilty or not. This is a violation of multiple of his constitutional rights and it makes an absolute mockery out of what's left of our justice system. They could already have a signed confession and this would still be a violation of his constitutional rights.

Do not let them get away with this. This is deliberate and it should lead to a mistrial.

This is not for you.

This is a post aimed at me and other people who constantly fall into guilt spirals over all the things they can’t do, and feel they should somehow magically be able to do anyway.

For me, and for the others, this is a gentle reminder:

- Posts asking for monetary donations are speaking to people who have money. Not your broke ass, still worrying how to buy food next month.

- Posts asking you to care about [extreme injustice of the day] are speaking to people who have energy to care. Not you, hanging onto your sanity by the fingernails. 

And, most importantly: posts telling you that you are horrible/cheap/awful/rude/unworthy/unlikable if you don’t pay/reblog/signal boost/care? Those posts can fucking die in a fire.

TL;DR: Posts asking for shit you are not physically or mentally able to give? 

THOSE POSTS ARE NOT FOR YOU. 

This is a beautiful graphic but it doesn’t explain the pros and cons of each fire type.

The Swedish torch is good for an efficient and contained fire, it’s controlled and good for cooking over and produces less light and heat than other fires. It can be difficult to keep going once you burn through the original log

The teepee is your traditional campfire. Good for heat and light not great for cooking, burns through fuel fairly quickly

The star fire is one of the slowest burning and not well protected but provides an even heat good for slow cooking and is excellent if you have limited fuel and need the protection a fire can provide

The lean to is a compact and efficient fire that evolves into a dense and hot bed of coals. The structure creates a good source of air flow which can help damp wood burn. A slightly better cooking fire that isn’t as bright. It also provides protection from wind on one side

The platform fire is incredibly hot and will create a very thick bed of coals but it doesn’t have a lot of air flow and is a little harder to get started.

The log cabin is big and bright and has lots of air flow which again is good for damp logs. You can also use this structure to start a smaller fire in the middle while drying out bigger logs. This fire will crumble into a messier bed of coals that don’t produce particularly even heat for cooking.

The modified leanto is excellent if you need it to perform multiple functions. The side with more fuel will burn bright and hot and the side with less fuel will burn less hot but more evenly and controlled, this gives you different cooking options.

reblogging for writing purposes. the exact reason will come soon enough.

becoming president just to put lumen, decibel, and size restrictions on vehicles.

i shouldn't be seeing floaters shaped like your car's headlights for thirty seconds after i pass you. also shut the fuck up. and your car does not need to be that big. you're putting other people in danger. let's get you a more conscious-of-other-people car

how does being punched in the face feel like

literally i just wanna know

It depends on where you get hit

Cheek: a round dull pain that clocks your entire head in a different direction. It’s painful and throbs but the main effect of a punch to the cheek is how jarring it is. You feel it in your mouth, your teeth. And no matter how you position that punch the knuckles will always hit the jaw and cheek bones adding a frame of sharp pain in which the redness will be painted.

Temple: getting hit on the temple pushes your head to the side rather than turning it. It’s disorienting because it leaves you very off balance. It essentially feels like a bad pressure headache, like when you have a sinus infection on a plane, but in one spot and on the outside. It’s sharp in the middle and radiates outward and even after the initial impact it pulses like an earthquake epicenter. It easily causes long lasting headaches and is the most likely of these examples to cause a concussion.

Eye: this is a weird one. The fist doesn’t fit within the eye socket so either the knuckles on the brow and cheeks bones protect the actual eye or they don’t. The former option gives a full spreading pain below the eye which results in the classic black eye look and a sharp pain on your brow similar to hitting your shin on the couch. The latter option, well bad things can happen when a hard fast object makes direct contact with your eye but for the sake of this it feels like a vacuum bc the concave shape is being covered and pressurized. The eye feels pushed back and pulled forward all at once. It doesn’t necessarily hurt that bad for that long unless the punch was meant to do damage. I’m fortunate to say I don’t know what it would feel like then.

Nose: remember that prank kids used to pull where they’d line up their hands with their nose, push them in one direction and crack a knuckle at the same time to pretend to break their nose? Yeah that’s what it looks like when someone punches you from the side in the nose, except it’s someone else’s hand and your nose makes the sound instead of their knuckle. It’s just like breaking any bone where you hear it and feel the action if it being done but that moment of shock blankets you for a split second until all the pain comes rushing back. It’s sharp and needlelike and can give you black eyes just to add insult to injury. If you get hit in the nose from the front it’s like the uncomfortableness of when you have to sneeze but can’t. Except that feeling took all the steroids and is now using your face as a punching bag to express its roid rage. It crackles outward like static electricity under your skin, your eyesight gets fuzzy and you can’t tell if it’s because you’re tearing up, it’s hard to open your eyes, or you’re momentarily stunned and blinded. Just know it’s all three. I find that this one knocks the wind out of you the most. Gotta remind yourself to breathe just don’t try to do it through your nose.

If you really want to know what this feels like I’d suggest joining a mixed martial arts because they’ll teach you correct form and power distribution and you can spar with pads and actually hit each other.

I’d also recommend learning what it feels like to punch someone in the face. It’s much more fun and pretty damn cathartic when they deserve it.

i was just being stupid but these descriptions are actually so well written i could feel them lmao bless

Well, thanks for “being stupid,” because this is a great ref for writers.