@inertial-reel / inertial-reel.tumblr.com
"sir this is a wendy's" = "I have no idea why you're here for that but this is possibly the LEAST relevant place for you to be right now"
"ma'am this is a map store" = "this is an even more relevant place for you to be than you know yet"
Me meeting a genie: Okay, so my first wish is for 1000 dollars a day, deposited to my bank account without any way of tracing it to anything illegal. I want this money to come from the ten richest people in America (100 dollars each), withdrawn under the guise of nebulous, random purchases and surcharges. It would probably be best to split the money into a myriad of smaller fees, though, to reduce the likelihood of anyone noticing. Got all that?
Genie: um
Me, continuing on without a care: For my SECOND wish, I want you to give me the ability to learn any given phoneme, so that I can learn to pronounce new languages perfectly. If you’re willing, it’d be nice if it were a little easier to memorize new languages too, but if that’s not cool, I’m perfectly fine doing all the legwork myself I mostly just want to be capable of pronouncing things correctly.
Genie, now staring at me like I’m insane: ……okaaayyy?….
Me: For my third wish. I want to always have great ideas for gifts for people. Every birthday, every holiday, I want to be able to come up with something they’d really like, with enough time to actually get it for them.
Genie, just staring at me
Me: I can provide you with a written document if that would help.
people like op are the ones that get memorialized in folk tales for outwitting the devil
About a week ago I posted this.
I’ve been getting horrible messages like this in my ask for months, including:
and my personal favorite
After getting the message saying “Just go kill yourself” I was completely done dealing with this person’s horrible messages and replied with just an “Okay.” and logged off tumblr.
About a week later I logged back on with 17 messages in my ask, most of them from the anon. I scrolled down and at first when I logged off, the anon messaged me things like
I scrolled up more and all of a sudden they started sending me more and more messages like
This was extremely surprising to me. I thought “After all those horrible messages you sent to me for MONTHS about hating me and wanting me dead, you say ‘sorry’ and that you ‘cant be responsible for someone’s suicide’?”
But I guess the lesson goes like this:
DONT TELL ANYONE TO KILL THEMSELVES UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED FOR WHAT MIGHT ACTUALLY HAPPEN
DON’T TELL ANYONE TO KILL THEMSELVES EVER.
THIS POST IS SO IMPORTANT I WANT EVERYONE ON TUMBLR IN THE WORLD TO SEE IT
This needs to be reblogged. I couldn’t scroll past this if I tried, I got a message like that but not for me, it told me to my friend to kill them self, I was livid! I didn’t answer it because a message like that doesn’t deserve an answer but I don’t see what is so funny about telling someone to kill them selves! I really don’t! It’s sick and it’s wrong. This person though, I take my hat off to you. You taught that bully a lesson.
this.
This will always be number one on the list of things that aren’t okay
Ho-ly shit.
I’ll never not reblog this
If you dare scroll without reblogging this you have no soul…….. i mean you do but reblogging this wont ruin your blog……. please just spread the word.
Please people don’t send anon hate your just hurting yourselves…
A PSA we shouldn’t need, but we do…because some people are fucking horrible
How the fuck is the anon gonna do a complete U turn when they find out ‘oh shit they might actually kill themselves’ every action has consequences, good or bad, some people never learned this and it really fucking shows.
I get it a lot actually. I just don’t tell anyone anymore because I’m afraid they’ll jump on the band wagon and do it too. It’s happened before.
THIS
How about this: Stop being a coward and don’t use anonymous! And obviously, why on Earth would you tell someone to go kill themselves?! That Anon is a absolute S.O.B !!
That was good lesson.
luckily this never happened to me but still smrhn worth sharing. some people just rlly,,, dont rhink of consequences as often as they should.
Don’t listen to those cowards. You are loved and worth much more than they can ever comprehend. Those guys are just scum who can’t deal with their own insecurities, so they take it out on others
TELLING SOMEONE TO COMMIT SUICIDE IS NOT A JOKE
It’s not a joke, assholes. Don’t do it unless you want that over you forever.
I found this after finding an Anon in my ask box telling me to stab myself with an iron spike.
…some ..fucking anons, I swear
no, i want to know who the fuck this anon is.
this i quite the yikes..
Don’t tell people to commit suicide
You know AI guys are living in another reality bc the amount of terror I would feel if a computer sent me, unprompted, an image of a blank-expression copy of myself trapped in a endless hallway of mirrors is frankly indescribable
me as a 14th century knight: this sucks i'm gonna fms (translator's note: fall on my sword)
Alternatively: fuck my squire
[remembers falling on my sword jokes negatively impact my knight's oath] ...fuck my squire
chelsea peretti’s opening monologue at the tenth annual tech crunchies
Chelsea Peretti is braver than any us marine
you have entered.. the scary door
HOBBES vs. TIGGER cage match TO THE DEATH say goodbye to your childhood because ONE! WILL!! DIE!!!!
Picturing two tiger plushies just kind of sitting there facing each other in Thunderdome
i am picturing it
Hobbes and Tigger would find some aspect of tigerhood to bond over, but Calvin would put Christopher Robin in the ground.
Still feels weird that the same band made "You're Gonna Go Far, Kid" and "Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)"
It's like if Smash Mouth and Fall Out Boy were one band.
The Offspring are honestly a contender for the funniest punk band ever, made even funnier by the fact that Dexter Holland is pushing 60 now and has a PhD in virology.
Like imagine being on an academic committee and reviewing a dissertation on HIV protein-encoding genomes and it's from a guy with frosted tips whose greatest legacy is the Crazy Taxi soundtrack.
That's the Offspring.
The hook from "Come Out And Play" was created because Dexter Holland was doing lab work and did, in fact, have to keep certain petri dishes separated while disinfecting them. So he kept saying "gotta keep 'em separated" to himself while working, and it stuck in his head so badly that it made it into the song.
A role model for all of us indecisive people who want to do and try anything and everything.
They've been one of my favorite bands since the 90s for a reason!
2025 is a good number, it’s a quarter of the way through the 20 hundreds and it’s got that nice set of 2s separated by only a 0. not bad. whatever happens this year at least it’ll be happening during a good number 😌
and IT'S A SQUARE. IT'S 45 SQUARED. THE LAST TIME THIS HAPPENED WAS IN 1936 (44 squared) AND IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN UNTIL 2116 (46 squared)
It's also equal to the sum of the first 9 cubes!
and 45 is 20 25 so it's (20 25)² which is extra cool
not to be a math nerd on gimmick
What is hope?
what is HAPPENING
Hey guys, with so much love, and as someone with an actual English degree:
Please just use Sparknotes if you're going to do this. I get it. I do. But chatgpt or other genAI shit doesn't actually know what's important for you to know, and in some cases it might fully make shit up. Use sparknotes. Failing that, talk to someone who did read it. I'm begging.
